The Worst Storyline Ever Contest

Chuck_SambuchinoGuest Blogger: Chuck Sambuchino

To celebrate the release of the brand-new 2012 Guide to Literary Agents, I am bringing back one of my most popular recurring contests: The “Worst Storyline Ever” Contest. Except this time, it’s hosted on Rachelle’s blog. So if you’re looking for an agent and want a big database, check out the book. And if you’ve got a horrible idea for a story, I want to hear about it. Welcome to the “Worst Storyline Ever” Contest—a competition that encourages terrible loglines.

“Worst Storyline Ever” Contest

A logline is a one-sentence line that explains what your story is about and shows the “hook” – the unique idea that makes people want to see more. You see loglines all the time on the back of DVD boxes. Here are some examples:

  • “Three middle-aged men defeat their midlife crises by starting a college fraternity.” (Old School)
  • “When a Roman general is betrayed and his family murdered by an evil emperor, he comes to Rome as a gladiator to seek revenge.” (Gladiator)
  • “In a future where criminals are arrested before the crime occurs, a cop struggles on the lam to prove his innocence for a murder he has not yet committed.” (Minority Report)

But that’s all the examples I’m going to give you, because I’m not looking for good examples of a logline; I’m looking for bad examples. Nay – terrible, stupid, “oh-my-gosh-that-idea-REEKS” examples.

Examples of Bad Loglines (Previous Winners/Finalists):

1. “After an unidentified cow swallows an armed nuclear device in a botched Homeland Security raid, Agent Tom Anderson is thrust into an unlikely partnership with buxom organic farmer Daisy Jones to sift through three hundred cows and 10 barns full of manure as the clock runs down in a desperate quest to save Kansas City from a moo-clear disaster.”

2. “A young woman discovers she is half unicorn after farting a rainbow at her bat mitzvah, and must go on a hijinx-filled voyage of self discovery to find her real father and fit as ‘one of the herd.’ “

3. “Leonard the narcoleptic snail sets out on his lifelong dream of running the Boston Marathon while humming ‘Macarena,’ and invites you to join the excitement in real time.”

Here are the rules:

  1. Stick to the format, but have fun with the idea. You want your logline to be one sentence only and must be 60 words or fewer, and explain what the movie/book is about. It’s what you put in that one sentence that will win you this competition. So the trick is to make your logline a terribly creative idea that’s pitched in a minimal, professional manner.
  2. The contest will go until the end of the day, 11:59 p.m., PST, Tues, Oct. 3, 2011. Submissions received after that will not be considered.
  3. I will judge the contest, with some possible input from other WD and WD Books staffers.
  4. To participate, simply click on “Comments” at the end of this post and leave your submission as a comment with your full name and e-mail. You must include your e-mail. If you are super paranoid about leaving your name, use “L. Martin Smith” instead of “Leonard Smith.”
  5. You can submit up to two (2) bad loglines. You can include both in the same comment post as you wish.
  6. The contest is open to everyone of all ages, save those employees, officers and directors of GLA’s publisher, F+W Media (formerly F+W Publications).
  7. If you have any questions about the contest, do not leave them in the comments and do not e-mail Rachelle. E-mail me directly at

The Prizes:

First prize:

1) A query letter critique from me. 2) A copy of the 2012 Guide to Literary Agents. 3) Praise on this blog from yours truly.

Two runner-up prizes:

A copy of the 2012 Guide to Literary Agents.

Good luck!!!


Children's marketChuck Sambuchino is an editor and a writer. He edits Guide to Literary Agents  as well as Children’s Writers & Illustrator’s Market. His humor book, How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack, was released in Sept. 2010. The film rights were recently optioned by Sony and director Robert Zemeckis. Besides that, he is a produced playwright, magazine freelancer, husband, cover band guitarist, chocolate chip cookie fiend, and owner of a flabby-yet-lovable dog named Graham.

  1. Magnus Sellergren says:

    Too bad I missed out on this as I am a “fan” of hilariously bad plots. You should visit The Imaginary Movie Database at for some brilliant examples!

  2. Nicholas Begnaud says:

    The inspiringly untrue story of how two music producing robots fought social backlash and proved that cyborgs can create music. This is the story of Daft Punk.

  3. Issac Maez says:

    Hands down, Apple’s app multitude away wins on a mile. It’s a elephantine pick of all sorts of apps vs a impartially depressing plentifulness of a comportment in behalf of Zune. Microsoft has plans, predominantly in the realm of games, but I’m not familiar face I’d exhort to flare on the days if this outlook is wondrous to you. The iPod is a much work over steadfastness in that case.

  4. Penitential pro the help of the oversized disapproval, but I’m confidently loving the whimsical Zune, and expectancy this, as immeasurably as the exemplar reviews some other people comprise written, solving plagiarize you establish upon if it’s the auspicious pick repayment in search you.

  5. Apple loftier at times has Rhapsody as an app, which is a major start, but it is currently hampered at handwriting the ineptness to stockpile locally on your iPod, and has a unsatisfactory 64kbps whit rate. If this changes, then it ‚lite a waste negate this profit in search the Zune, but the 10 songs per month thinks apposite mild be a socking reoccur in Zune Pass’ favor.

  6. plr says:

    PLR is Plr. Whenever you buy PLR?s legal rights you’re buying private label rights to a post, e-book, software program or even private label rights product, You can edit the actual PLR material just as much or less than you?d like, why not add your personal company or even personal title as author/ owner, build authority in your area.

  7. I drop a leave a response whenever I especially enjoy a post on a blog or I have something to valuable to contribute to the discussion. It’s caused by the fire displayed in the article I looked at. And on this post The Worst Storyline Ever Contest | Rachelle Gardner. I was excited enough to post a thought 🙂 I actually do have a couple of questions for you if you don’t mind. Could it be only me or does it appear like a few of these remarks appear like written by brain dead people? 😛 And, if you are posting at additional places, I would like to follow you. Could you make a list the complete urls of all your communal sites like your Facebook page, twitter feed, or linkedin profile?

  8. dog sale says:

    Thank you so much for giving everyone remarkably spectacular possiblity to read articles and blog posts from this blog. It is always so lovely and also packed with amusement for me personally and my office mates to visit the blog no less than three times in 7 days to find out the fresh things you will have. And of course, I am also actually astounded with your mind-blowing strategies you give. Selected 4 areas in this posting are completely the most suitable I’ve ever had.

  9. Etta Rigas says:

    Lol, I just love Carrie Underwood! Carrie is so fun!

  10. What a remarkable article which have almst take my breath away.I really enjoys everything of your blog.Thank you for your constant sharing of remarkable posts with us.

  11. Alice DiNizo says:

    Jennifer Sneedley knew she’d had the most marvellous life and that people everywhere would want to read about her birth, her school years, her marriage and her children.

  12. “After an unidentified cow swallows an armed nuclear device in a botched Homeland Security raid, Agent Tom Anderson is thrust into an unlikely partnership with buxom organic farmer Daisy Jones to sift through three hundred cows and 10 barns full of manure as the clock runs down in a desperate quest to save Kansas City from a moo-clear disaster.”

  13. Chuck Willstone says:

    Two best friends share an apartment and their girlfriends pressure them to move out and in with them, so they decide to get gay married despite them and keep the apartment and find new girlfriends that appreciate their lavish new lifestyle as a married couple.

  14. rpruitt says:

    Down on his luck wannabe writer searches the internet and finds promo/contest for “worst storyline’ – so, thinking this is an opportunity to trick the famous agent judging toe contest into recognizing his genius – he sends his best storyline, and wins.

  15. Dave Nicholson says:

    Popeye, an unemployed barnacle scraper, wins a spinach eating contest but during the awards ceremony passes huge amounts of gas killing dozens of spectators, and overcome by guilt, is soon running for his life pursued by mysterious black-suited government types intent on making him the next weapon of mass destruction.

  16. Cheryl says:

    Okay–call me clueless. The email I received today is dated 5th Oct. Competition closes 3rd Oct. Yet people are still entering! What gives?

  17. Sandy Lewis says:

    2 guys stopping to get a donut saw a clown at the cash register, and unknown to them, the clown and his mother had just robbed and tied up the cashier and head donut maker, who were actually the brother and sister of the President (who was stopping by later tonight)!

  18. Laura Arroyo says:

    On a trip to her home state of Alaska, Sarah Palin meets a lost hitchhiker/gypsy and learns the secret to winning over the hearts of America’s elderly population.

  19. Teresa Meherg says:

    This was too much fun not to enter:

    While cleaning out her dead ex-husband’s fridge, Carol Butterinsky discovers a fungus-filled Tupperware bowl that she later learns holds the seed of the ‘missing link’ and sets on a course of dish crashing every church social within a 100 miles to find the owner and the missing lid.

    During the long trek home on Christmas Eve, Santa falls asleep at the helm while dreaming of a world with no children and is abducted by alien bunny women, where he’s held captive as a sex slave on the planet of Chilly WaterWorld until Mrs. Claus shows up and trades him for all the elves.

  20. Scott Honey says:

    Carl is an unwilling time traveling butcher who finally finds happiness working on a ‘Human Farm’ in a reality where cannibalism is the norm, but only until a militant revolutionary human rights group wages a new war in the future world.

  21. When a baby is born with a physical deformity involving a horn protruding from its anus, it is discovered the mother has been cheating on her husband with an inside out unicorn and the husband starts a revolution a la Les Miserables against the encroaching inside out mythical world.

    In this dystopian allegory, a detached penis attempts to get a job in the bleak U.S. economy and contemplates life without a body.

  22. Joanne Huspek says:

    Mine will never win in a field this loaded with talent, but here goes:

    After a chance meeting with a war-hardened bitter Iraq War amputee (both arms, both legs) named Urskin Boyles, Matt Harper – one time party boy and ne’er-do-well, decides to enter himself in a cross-country crawling contest for Runner Magazine, only to discover he will have to carry Urskin on his back for the entire race.

  23. Matt Nerzowicz, aka Sloth Man, has never backed away from a dare, but when his twin sister/arch enemy dares him to watch 4,398 coats of paint dry on a mud hut, it takes all his Sloth powers to maintain focus on the vinyl finish and ignore the peals of bank alarms as she pillages the village he likes to call home.

  24. Vladamir the vampire faints at the sight of blood and is the embarrassment of his family,so armed with smelling salts he takes a job on the night shift at a nearby hospital blood bank to try and overcome his handicap.

  25. Trish Mishler says:

    WHEN FISH ATTACK! Diabolical mad scientist, Damon Milner, creates a sinister potion, spills it into his fish bowl which transforms his fish into hellish killer fish – It isn’t long before the fish learn how to make the same potion and dump it into the ocean & gather all the fish to their cause of taking over the world!

    GOATS IN A BOAT! The exciting sequel to WHEN FISH ATTACK! Mankind is now on the run from killer fish, three farmers from Iowa escape at sea with their beloved pet goats Molly & Manny when the goats are subjected to nuclear fallout – things turn ugly as Molly starts chewing on all the liferafts!

  26. Dave Mundt says:

    Ned watched in horror as his alien friend Nazook from Neptune, startled into panic by the animatronic figure in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride; attacked the pirate with unbridled shock and awe that unfolded a delightful wreaking of mayhem akin to Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (Ned likened himself to Sundance) across amusement parks around the globe.

    They had been friends since preschool and conquered challenge after challenge but now they faced their biggest obstacle ever on the eve of Lollapalooza when Tamsin lost her voice and Dave was forced to take over as lead singer, because he had never sung outside of the shower before and broke out in a rash from stage fright.

  27. Rachael says:

    After years of self-imposed social isolation because of her horrific smelling farts, Jenna decides she will not punish herself for what she can’t control anymore and decides to take a 6 month submarine journey around the world looking for love.

  28. Arlee Bird says:

    Okay, I’m in:

    1) Disparate collection of clowns enter cross country race in dilapidated clown car.

    2) Laid off philosophy professors form an existential gang of bank robbers who debate Keynesian economics.

    Arlee Bird (pseudonym)
    Robert Lee Jackson (real name)

    jacksonlee51 at aol dot com

  29. Rick Barry says:

    A scientist who is a colorful character turns green with envy after his yellow-bellied assistant sells a rare black-and-white photo of a troop of Brownies chasing the bluebird of happiness for a huge amount of gold and silver in order to buy a chain of tanning studios in Redding, California.

  30. Merry Schilling says:

    When Hepsiba, a kind but klutzy witch, accidentally gulps her own love potion falling irrevocably in love with Herkimer, the evil but dashing sorcerer, who is trying to take over the world, she and her three-legged toad with digestive problems must save mankind through her misfired spells and besotted hilarity.

  31. A husband and wife, ice fishing in the northern Minnesota lake, hook on to a satchel marked “Top Secret,” realizing that it contains information on an underwater hit scheduled for Charlie the Catfish, they need to deliver it safely to the FBI before Don Carlo the Jellyfish tracks them down in the worst blizzard ever to hit the state.

  32. Sean McGuire says:

    A band of underwear models decided one day to go skinny-dipping in the North Pole. But when a random piece of space goo lands in their discarded coverings, bounces in the air, mutates, and lands in the mouth of a rabid polar bear… feeding time begins.

    • Sean McGuire says:

      Oops. That was two sentences. Ignore that.

      “A band of underwear models decide one day to go skinny-dipping in the North Pole; when a random piece of space goo lands in the mouth of a penguin and mutates it… feeding time begins.”

  33. TNeal says:

    While swimming in primordial ooze, Herman, single-celled and looking, hears a big bang and splits in his pants, a cataclysmic event that sends him following in the murderous wake of Yin, his recently-formed alter ego.

  34. Madison Morris says:

    A English Lit professor discovers a secret code to investing and uses his newly acquired knowledge to seek revenge on his high school nemesis Warren Buffet.
    (second entry)

  35. Madison Morris says:

    When Emma, a curvy but attractive zombie, moves to Paris to learn how to cook brains and forget about her exboyfriend werewolf who ran away with her beloved but mischievous dog Marlee, she is forced to choose between following her dream of cooking w Chef Lou Botomy and saving the world from an army of teen angst fueled fairies.

  36. Morley, a heavily freckled man and expert bowler, wakes from a coma in a future world full of future science where freckles are harvested as a clean burning fuel, and joins forces with an underground team of lady waxers to reverse the dermatological discrimination.

    (Second entry)

  37. When promising high school gymnast and potential homecoming king, Rick, sprains his face in a tragic cartwheeling accident, he tumbles into an international conspiracy involving cybernetic athletes at the physical therapy office, and must defend the honor of his sport while somehow finding a date for the dance, all in time to qualify for the Olympics.

  38. Caroline Praed says:

    1) Our hero, Prince Bradley, must find a bride from a very unlikely selection of women put forward by the valet he scorned. The father of Viridia sets him a near-impossible quest – which he must complete within 48 hours, dressed as a giant yellow rubber duck…

    2) Fleeing from a dying planet, new cadet Vince [Tom Cruise] must pilot a recalcitrant space ‘Ark’, powered by cow dung and his own urine, while saving a variety of copulating pairs of creatures – including a pair of leeches, Lucas and Lilith [voiced by Tom Hanks and Helen Mirren], attached to his right forearm.

  39. S. Wiersma says:

    1.) After Sam returns from an excruciatingly long and painful barefoot-jogging road trip, Sam’s mother-in-law, Susie, decides to spend some quality time with her son-in-law by taking him on a tandem-biking road trip from New York to Oregon, with only a picnic basket packed with wine and cheese, an MP3 player full of ’80s hits, and Susie’s endlessly yapping Yorkshire Terrier.

    2.) When Andy’s wife leaves him for a French toothpick maker, Andy sinks his teeth into his once-neglected library of dental hygiene and discovers thousand-year-old secrets of foreign dental prestige, teaching Andy that his smile has the power to change his life and the world.

    nitpicking101 {at} gmail {dot} com

  40. Linda Hofke says:

    A man who, as a child, was hit in the eye with a cork gun must conquer his fear of corks in order to pursue his dream career as a sommelier.

  41. Linda Hofke says:

    A group of writers drive their editors to the edge of insanity when they ban together, refusing to use the Oxford comma in a series of items with a single conjunction even when its omission creates ambiguity.

    • Bill Larsen says:

      I must say that the Oxford comma is much better than my submission. The story line could include how to string a thousand words together in a sentence with the use of the semi-colon.

      • Linda Hofke says:

        haha…maybe that could be a contest in itself. Who can write the longest run-on sentence using a list of given words. That would be fun 🙂

        And, by the way,I liked yours. It is a bit more realistic than mine. I know some people who really do fuss about it being difficult to read certain fonts. Good luck!

  42. Andrea Deegan-Smith says:

    After being ostracized by friends and family for his love of My Little Pony, 42 year old alcoholic karaoke DJ and “Brony” Phil Lush is doing well in AA, but discovers it will take more than 12 steps to keep him “off the horse”.

  43. Maine Character says:

    A half-blind lobsterman discovers the sole survivor of a UFO crash clinging to a trap and promptly measures its skull, bands its hands, and takes it home for dinner, but his psychic dog Bucktooth senses the alien diplomat’s telepathic messages and delivers it, by fault of translation, not to the King of Holland, but the King of Horror.

    S. Cornwell,

  44. Alicia Kania says:

    When a routine dentist appointment reveals that Emma has Geographic Tongue, she takes it as a sign and begins regularly interpreting the shape-shifting “map” of her tongue, believing it is showing her where to travel, and starts to wonder just how far her tongue will take her.

  45. Angela Perry says:

    Passionate love ignites when Isabella Fox, who harbors a weakness for bad boys, meets the perfect man in Spike Malone–a ninth degree blackbelt ex-Navy SEAL turned motorcycle gang leader–until she discovers his secret collection of Bratz dolls.

  46. Helen Vivienne Fletcher says:

    Twilight meets Chicken Boo: a young girl’s relationship takes a confusing turn when she finds her new boyfriend’s skin is feathery to the touch, his head is constantly bobbing back and forth, and he has a compulsive need to find things to eat on the ground – is it possible he is in fact… a giant pigeon in disguise?

  47. Amanda Blair says:

    The Letcher County Jail will never be the same when The Eastern Kentucky Retired Gardening Club decides to walk through the woods and find a native plant to make their pet project but goes awry when they mistake Marijuana for another plant called Cleome.

  48. Sam K says:

    Preview of If I Were A Tree by Lasanowski, A.K.:
    “If I were a tree enables nature lovers to imagine life as a tree. As you read you may realize the significance that a tree contributes to the environment. You may just be inspired to promote others to take action and share your love for nature.”
    Though the author put a lot of thought into this, I thought it’s funny that she’s telling the reader what they will “realize” when reading her book, when the main reason for me to read a book is to find my own interpretations and such. Also, the whole concept is hillarious :D.

  49. When Samantha, a beautiful but clumsy young woman, flees clown college and the family profession to be with her beloved Everett the juggler, she and Everett become embroiled in a plot of International Espionage when Everett’s balls are tampered with and they must work against the clock to save the world.

    Barbara Jean Byrem

  50. A.T. Schultz says:


    An unstoppable zombie-vampire assassin, who kills his victims by sucking their
    blood then eating their brains, meets his match when he is hired by the Devil to kill Medusa, but falls in love with her instead.

  51. Daniel Trosper says:

    “Apocalypse,Then”, chronicles the horror of the 2000-year Alsamic-Bullamian” War, based on each side’s claimed superiority at tic-tac-toe, decided after 1,999 ties, when the Bullamian representative thought it clever to put the ‘O’ to the side instead of the center, leading to a Bullamian loss and the most infamous five words in the nation’s history, “You win, what’s for lunch?” ,

  52. Daniel Trosper says:

    “If the Thigh Offend Thee”, ‘Grease’, a rogue fried chicken operative, attempting to recreate KFC’s secret recipe, instead uncovers the secret to hyperspace warp jumps, and goes undercover as fry cooks around the globe are kidnapped by international powers intent on being the first to develop interstellar space travel, or least create better tasting happy meals.

  53. 1. In a world where humans see magical beings as second-class citizens, it’s up to one half-elf / half-fairy to save the very beings she’s been taught to hate, but before she can do that she has to fight a rabid dog, find the Tea Kettle of Ravenfield, and avoid falling in love with the troll who’s her family’s sworn enemy.

    2. Men weren’t supposed to get pregnant, but now Ralph is, and he’s afraid he’ll have to go through the whole ordeal by himself and be a single father/mother/whatever, but when a magical unicorn promises to change all that, Ralph realizes he can get the father/mother/whatever of his unborn child to fall in love with him through the magic of song.

    Kimberly Lynn Workman /

  54. 1. Read the heartwrenching story of triumph that is the life of Billy Blob, a gifted man who found out as a young boy that he could transform himself into a peanut, and for whom all went well until someone ran over him with a steamroller and forced him to live the rest of his life as peanut butter.

    2. When an alunimum chimley cleaner finds a monkster hiding in the flue of a goverment farplace, he must resort to an old Vietmanese nuculer device to drive it out and prevent the invasion of alot of misspellers, misspeakers, and good-grammar-phobes that would naturally have followed.

  55. R. Jasmin Rueda says:

    1. After stumbling into a mysterious, time-traveling port-a-potty during his beach vacation, Dr. Y discovers his true calling as a beach-combing time traveler, but one pressing question remains: Will he be able to keep the disguised time machine upright in his rocky travels through time?

    2. A universally-renowned ninja warrior assassin hired to kill alien warlords inadvertently destroys the Milky Way in a botched assassination attempt, triggering an intergalactic war and making himself the target of relentless armies of 20-ton squids, gun-slinging cowboys, zombies and radioactive space slugs, leaving him only 15 minutes to save the universe from total collapse.

  56. JJ Veale says:

    A potholder named Jimmy considers suicide via oven combustion but is redeemed when a kitchen spoon named Petunia professes her love.

    A coming-of-age story about a belligerent boy orphaned on a Martian colonial mission. His mentor relationship with an alien scuba diving instructor ushers him into a new appreciation of butter.

  57. “Wanting desperately to change his image as a spiritual loner, Pedro the Praying Mantis buys a Harley and joins the notorious Rhinoceros Beetle Biker Club, only to meet his potential soul mate Mary Mantis, missionary extraordinaire to hard-shelled, six-legged thugs.”

  58. Elizabeth Kitchens says:

    Sherrie always wanted to be magically transported into a story book, but things don’t turn out quite the way she hoped when she is sucked into a decorative book box and has to write her way out using only the words on her grandmother’s bottle of medicinal brandy inconspicuously stored in the book.

    At the advice of a sea cucumber, lonely starfish Alpha decides to travel to the Night Sky to ask the Man-in-the-Moon out on a date; on the journey she learns about friendship and trust as she thumbs rides from a one-winged butterfly, a barnacle named “Nascar”, and a flying cow.

  59. Clare Scott says:

    A fragile snail – his life but an empty shell and rapidly spiralling downwards – embarks on a slow dangerous journey, which takes him through areas of sludge, slime and disgusting squalour, as he attempts to find and share his inner self with Big Foot along the pathway of discovery.

  60. Martin Dugas says:

    After being fired as busboy of a small town’s family diner, an eccentric young man aspiring to conquer the world and become an internationally acclaimed Chef buys a kitchen trailer, parks it next to a truck stop along the state’s busiest highway and attempts to sell his masterpiece meal: a tasty strawberry-flavoured hamburger with raisin bread buns.

  61. Heidi Britz says:

    1.When the Brothers Grimm meet the Brothers Lehman, terror takes the form of Hogzilla, an eleven hundred pound wild boar, as he tramples Wall Street, taking financial analysts and the Dow Jones on a wild ride in this political alle-gory of blood and chaos that will have you crying “why, why, why?“, all the way home.

    2. When Svetlana Chiller finally realizes that she cannot find the exotic, forbidden love she craves from the vampire, the werewolf or the zombie, as they have been completely changed into mundane creatures of the everyday by incredible overexposure, she plans to end her own life, but is stopped by the smoldering love child of a leprechaun and a unicorn.

  62. KS Cureton says:

    When beleaguered night-school instructor Mutt Jefferson jolts awake to find his dimwitted class of adult GED underachievers (“The Idiots” to his fellow faculty) mysteriously miniaturized, bobbing helplessly in the puddle of drool on his desk, he inadvertently gasps, swallowing his entire roster, which precipitates a panicked call to his reformed-stripper fiancé: “Bunny, I drunk the Ids!”

    KS Cureton

  63. When she catches her husband in bed with her best friend, Dorothy wasn’t expecting her kitchen appliances to help wreck her revenge. But now she has more than just a regular mess to clean up, and her in-laws are coming for Sunday dinner. Can she rely on her new electric friends for help with this too?

  64. 1. A flea, “Sip”, (short for Siphonaptera), who has always felt “different” because of his love of books and science, becomes unlikely friends with his host, Gigi, a dog he’s feeding off of and reading on. Together, they help Sip realize his dream of getting a Bachelor’s Degree in English. (Title – The Educated Flea)

    2. The entire nation has mysteriously stopped experiencing Winter, Summer, and Spring. It’s up to scientist Harold Sworde to figure out why. (Title – Fall on the Sworde)

  65. Cyntha Ivers says:

    Lonely housewife Jackie Squat spends her days flushing the toilet looking for her imaginary lover, Liquid Plumr, until one day she accidentally flushes herself and discovers a new world full of shiny pennies, vintage cell phones and baby alligators.

  66. Linda Connelly says:

    The Royal Jewels have been stolen by Rasputin who will unlock their power in order to take over the world once and for all. It’s up to Queen Elizabeth the 20th to travel back in time, gather all twenty Elizabeth’s in order to do battle deep in the Earth’s Core.

  67. Alice Pawlowich says:

    Some guy from this town, you would never remember the name off, tells all in his new book… What Shoe Size Says About A Person. In it you will discover the difference between a size 7 and a size 8, find out how cracked heels can ruin your life; plus a full chapter on yellow toe nails and what to do about it.

  68. Alice Pawlowich says:

    Security man tires of watching motionless camera monitors and decides to chase a bag blowing around the parking lot in the wind.

  69. Ginger Chiveral says:

    1. A carpet installer decides to kick start the unraveled seams of his life as he searches his pad for meaning.

    2. A crazed psychic escapes an asylum as the police search for a small medium at large.

  70. Cyntha Ivers says:

    It’s déjà vu all over again for renowned French chef Austin Justice (aka Au Jus) when another one his star sommeliers is found macerated in a simmering vat of confit and he must emulse himself in a wild goose chase to catch a killer from the shores of Bisque-Cane-Bay to the crepey alleys of the Roux Morgue.

  71. Sheena says:

    After his prized collection of pig-shaped bobblehead dolls is stolen and used as calling cards in gristly murders, a young British man must prove his innocence and find the true Nodding-ham killer.

  72. Noveldoctor says:

    After sending out 37 queries for his first novel, “Shut Up or Die,” an action-packed thriller based on his favorite film, “My Dinner With Andre,” Reginald Underwood waits by the mailbox.

  73. The ill-fated romance between Heisenburg, a lowly electron in a particle accelerator, and the attractive, unstable Aunty-Matter, whose brief, but epic, bond results in mutually assured destruction.

  74. anonvo says:

    1. Must read semi-not-based-on-reality-true story of the prison and rehab love affair between Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.

    2. Sassy, a vegan, is an early 20’s L.A. ghetto vampire zombie who is selected for a reality television show where contestants live in the same beach house having their lives, their escapades, their debauchery, their conflict, and their human cravings taped.

  75. In this documentary-style film, an inspiring Jordanian rapper with acute halitosis seeks to reverse global climate change by embarking on a world tour singing to unhappy house plants.

  76. A 15 year old girl, Darlena, who grew up in the town of Kentuckia, Arkansas, finds she is a golf savant and challenges fellow Arkansas native John Daly to a match, which she wins, catapulting her to stardom, which she capitalizes on by winning on multiple tours and becoming a celebrity despite her age or grasp of the English language.

  77. Steve Bradley says:

    I don’t see how I can possibly win. The rest of these are awful.

  78. Steve Bradley says:

    Children’s pop-up book:
    1. A story of a small “animal person:” Small plankton gets stuck in pocket of Jonah’s tunic after the giant fish swallows him; it is vomited out with Jonah on the shore near Nineveh, and goes with him to Nineveh, and gradually dries out and dies.
    Set in the old West:
    A romance. Two men meet, and fight over the same saloon-girl. One man is killed by the other, escapes with the girl, and they live for several years on the run. They successfully rob a bank, and then kill each other. The money is recovered by the townspeople, who leave them for the buzzards, and go into town, only to find that other outlaws have burned their town to the ground.
    (We are talking BAD storylines here.)
    With apologies to Spongebob and Clint Eastwood or John Wayne, either one.

  79. Leo Crantz is a failure: failed author, failed husband, failed son, failed father. His wife is having an affair with his best friend, his children despise the very air he breathes, even his own mother can’t stand the sight of him. Until enigmatic and dangerous Lorna enters his life and Leo pretends to be his heroic pulp hero alter ego, Locke Steel. Now the mob wants him dead, crooked cops breathing down his neck, a deadly serial killer has his number, and Lorna’s escaped convict boyfriend is convinced he’s Lorna’s lover.

  80. CGWorrell says:

    To prevent an Indie writer from posting a compromising video of her illicit affair with Vordak the Incomprehensible, literary agent Janet Reid shapeshifts into a python, swims the sewer system, pops from the toilet as a great white shark, chomps the blackmailer’s ass, prepares to shred his manuscript only to discover the complete 4th installation of Stieg Larsson’s Millennium series.

  81. TC Avey says:

    1)Freddy, the amazing fart fetching dog escapes the circus to help Blinky the blind bat fertilize atomic petunias before the aliens try to overtake the dim-witted human population.

    2) Tim accidentally sniffed the leprechaun dust, now he must find the magical peanut whistle before the fire breathing ogre eats the last Popsicle or he will remain a hairless dwarf forever.

    TC Avey

  82. Jen Grover says:

    Haskel Jones is happy with his job as night watchman at the Claws and Effects nail polish factory, until the rainy pre-dawn he is overcome by acetone fumes, and wakes in a puddle to discover that not only does he now sport a petal pink pedicure, but someone has made off with ten cases of mauve micro-glitter.

  83. Andrea Weiss says:

    Quent Forack, leader of the band Chase the Ball, becomes an indie rock outcast when he is caught listening to Lady Gaga records. His journey to redemption includes the tiny indie label Crash, Dixie Trick, his new girlfriend, and her cat Wallop, who howls when she hears a good song.

  84. Maddy, a self-proclaimed Band-Aid addict, must overcome her dependence on latex and Neosporin, in order to save the children of the Amazon who are suffering from an epidemic of Banana leaf paper cuts and an outbreak of Piranha maulings.

  85. Osayi says:

    A “far-from-gruntled” and very “un-unified” high school soccer team from Africa go on a mission trip to the jungles of Beverly Hills to teach the people there about love, hope and truth, and finally find unity in their fight for the legalization of drugs, and other relative truths.

  86. Osayi says:

    An African princess discovers that she is a long lost relative of Hitler and in her shame and despair is determined to find the families of those he hurt , to beg forgiveness and find redemption, and in the process she finds herself and finds true love in the most unexpected of places – Alaska.

  87. Rebecca Greene says:

    The dwindling number of rescue animals at the pet store’s Sunday adopt-a-thons combined with a rash of disappearing plastic bags worries the grocer’s night manager, who suspects something sinister with the neighboring oriental restaurant’s Monday specials after she and her health inspector boyfriend find a stack of grocery bags covered with pet hair and reddish-brown goo beside the restaurant’s dumpster.

  88. Jackie M Reuter says:

    “In Micheal Allen’s memoir, he tells the story of how he learned to play the kazoo after meeting a mysterious dwarf who sold him an elixir that made him attractive to every species but dolphins and beluga whales.”

    “After Thomas Dowell answers a phone call from his mother, he narrowly misses being involved in an undercover spy mission investigating a plot of world domination being plotted by a pack of renegade goldfish.”

  89. Jen Grover says:

    Lucifera, the vuluptuous, naked silver pendant of rock star Teffy Combs, bathes in the lights, and his sweat, every night of his sold-out tour, but by tour’s end her tarnished thighs reveal that she might not be sterling after all, but plated!

  90. Douglas L.Thompson says:

    “A computer virus named Stanley, shunned and misunderstood by his peers, embarks upon an epic internet adventure in search of fulfilling his life long dream to regulate the irrigation control valves on a private golf course in the wine country”

    “During an early morning stop-drop-and-roll drill in Modesto California, in January 1965 a recently diagnosed epileptic gerbil named Harold Fuzzbeck flees his small cage in Mrs. Langer’s fifth grade class, to be discovered some three hours later flattened in the school parking lot.”

  91. C. Edwin Pearson says:

    Cliffburt Noggswaddle founds “Bad Taste Games, Inc.” with their opening title “Concentration Camp Commandant,” in which the object of the game is, well, never mind, but when it becomes a hit in Israel, Palestinians retaliate with a musical competition featuring send-ups of Hava Nagila.

  92. Amanda McLeod says:

    Meet Susan: an average housewife who just discovered a magic bubble wand among her daughter’s toys. One untrained flick of the wrist later she finds herself, quite by accident, in the body of Jessica Rabbit and sitting on a tour bus filled with Republican groupies following the 2011 debate circuit. Without the wand.

    Amanda McLeod
    asegreen @ yahoo . com

  93. Bill Larsen says:

    When Matt, a retired font designer, began to spend his remaining years in front of a computer, he realized that MS Comic was the only computer typeface that did not give him a headache and set out on a quest to convince the world that Comic was the only way to to display type on a screen.

  94. Patrice Bourne says:

    Clarence, a zombie, romances a female brain surgeon with hopes of abundant harvest when he falls hopelessly in love with her younger sister, a cocktail waitress, but is disappointed to discover that she’s a brainless beauty.

    Hugh, a CIA agent, is being investigated by his agency for marrying multiple times, but all of his marriages were to a different persona of the same woman, who has a multiple personality disorder and spies for several countries, depending on who she is that day.

    *I think you should give extra credit for incredibly long run-on sentences too! 🙂

  95. Jennie Bozic says:

    46-year-old Daphne struggles to overcome her fear of boredom by immersing herself in the mundane: trips to the hardware store, hours of laundry folding, and marathons of “Full House” reruns.

  96. Jennie Bozic says:

    When the pope learns that Jesus has accidentally returned as a fish oil pill due to some confusion over the phrase “fishers of men”, he must lead his flock into every grocery story and pharmacy on the planet in search of the savior in order to prevent a Eucharistic catastrophe.

  97. Amber Amberjay, a greedy and ambitious mother, charges the stage clutching lip gloss and tissues after her conjoined twins — both named Sierra — sneeze simultaneously on a beauty pageant judge during the Sierras’ tap-dance routine; you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll want to call Child Welfare Services, but you can’t stop watching “Snots and Sierras.”

    Donna Volkenannt
    dvolkenannt (at)

  98. Jody Day says:

    Chaud Zane Lamour, a superhero cowboy who can control the weather and must save Texas from a perpetual heat wave, races north on his trusty steed Caliente to lasso a cold front, but loses his power every time someone says, “It’s so dang hot!”

  99. When Boring, NY is invaded by cat‐eating space monkeys, John discovers that his sweet little persians aren’t ordinary furballs, but super‐intelligent feline ninja assassins who recruit John as the leader of their resistance against the outer space simians, pitting him against a snarky airship pirate who knows how to incapacitate fully grown men with nothing but a banana.

  100. 1. When Normy Clodston, a designer of plasticware, slams his head into a wall while rushing to inspect the next batch of sporks, he is transported into a world badly in need of the equations needed to calculate the depth of a crater left behind when the evil overlord exploded.

    2. Two ferret friends set out on a harrowing journey to discover why Hollywood has never made a movie featuring their species of vermin, but along the way, they are waylaid by a group of traveling tractor-trailers and flattened on a highway.

    Jared Garrett
    jared (at) jaredgarrett (dot) com

  101. In the distant future, only months from now, a reluctant hero, chosen by Fate, must lead a banana-boat full of refugee hedgehogs, Pied Piper style, to safety along the Florida Space Coast, or all will be chiffoned to death by a horde of one-handed seamstresses just itching to get their five fingers on those pin-perfect quills.

  102. Debbi Sullivan says:

    The Clowns and the Mimes of City Park World work together to bring joy and squash stereotypes among Park World’s non-painted citizens, but when mime Wee Willie Wiffle witnesses a clown secretly terrifying a ten-year-old, potentially destroying all the City’s hard-won feelings of goodwill, he must make a terrible and personally devastating choice: Should he speak out?

  103. Ada Maria Soto says:

    When Fez, an elven prince/bus driver, discovers his ancestral hill is about to be bulldozed for condos he must turn to his drug dealing ex-bodyguards, a half orc loan shark, and his human traffic cop girlfriend to help stop the demolition.

  104. Gregg Jansen says:

    Vlad’s inability to tan may be the only thing standing between him and winning the newest TV reality show, America’s Top Vampire, although the competition isn’t very stiff and the real problem is not what’s at stake but that Vlad cannot countenance being declared winner as “Vlad the paler.”

    Boy wizard prodigy Terry Plodder was all set to take the Swine Boil School of Magic by storm, dreaming of daring deeds, staggering banquets, contests of skill and daring, and all the house elves one could abuse with excessively loud music and stinky laundry, but it seems that Terry forgot to mail in his application.

  105. When IRS lackey and typeface aficionado Larry McLamerson attends the National Accounting Conference he never expects to spot a formatting error in regulation 603.456.34III(b)3–now he must file forms 759B-3, 9883(C) (parts II, X-XVII , and XXVI), and EZ-form 12 by April 15th or someone might notice. NON-COMPLIANT, Thriller, 400k words.

  106. Jami Gold says:

    A normal girl discovers her inner strength after learning of a prophecy declaring her to be special, and now she’s the only one who can get the garbage bag out to the can before the truck arrives.

    contact (at) jamigold (dot) com

  107. KimatSafkhet says:

    Watch Bob, a painter from Oklahoma, watch the paint peel on his old plantation-style farmhouse after his wife left him, his last cow died an unexplained death while his father is on his way to see Bob to take him on a life-long journey that will change both Bob and his father forever.

  108. M. Ferguson says:

    While playing ‘Lack-Luck Island’ on the Ultra ForX game console, Ted gets sucked into his television set after unlocking the mysterious level 29 1/2, where he finds best friend Carl had been eating nothing but digital pizza during his two months of captivity by zombie people that have… moose antlers!?

  109. Obsessed with her desire to win the coveted role of Miss Douglas County, Sarah decides to forgo her daily scone on the way to the office, not calculating what this caloric savings would ultimately cost her as her favorite barista begins to miss their daily encounters.

  110. Orphan Andy Twinkle discovers that his parents are alive and they’re millionaires, then that he was mistaken, then that they’re alive and running a brothel in Kansas, then that he was mistaken again and then that he has terminal cancer – with HILARIOUS consequences!

  111. Liza Miro says:

    Logline #1
    A neurotic 8yr old chinese pianist, pressurized by her evil grandma to perform a major concerto the next day, accidentally slams her finger off in the door and horrifyingly watches the cat eat it on the other side.

    Logline #2
    Travis Glog goes to jail for raping a goat and one day finds out that the mutated goat baby becomes a superhero who saves Japan by farting back a tsunami.

  112. Burning Passion:
    Can a woman find true love in a crematorium?

  113. Nicola Forster says:

    John and Angela Garrett have reached their mid-forties and are tired of their mundane lives and average marriage, being slaves to their third remortgage and their mind-numbing picking jobs in a toilet roll factory, so the sale of their house allows a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Antarctica where they get lost and freeze to death.

  114. No Milk: A bittersweet true-life drama charting Harvey Fawk’s struggle to become the first lactose-intolerant mayor of Chicago.

  115. The Wind in the Pillows:
    The tragic story of a love destroyed by night–time flatulence.

  116. Dionne Lister says:

    Mandy and Ben have a date on Friday night but when the entire American city they live in contracts laryngitis they are forced to cancel by text message.

    If These Walls Could Talk is a drama about the walls in a New York apartment and what they have seen but unfortunately, in the tradition of walls, they remain silent.

  117. Alicia Kania says:

    In a society inhabited by footwear, where stiletto heels are rich divas, running shoes are professional athletes, and dangerous Rollerblade gangs roam the streets, Sunny, a lonely little yellow flip-flop, embarks on the adventure of his lifetime to find his one true sole-mate.

  118. Sra Ansted says:

    ‘To Be or Not To Be a Writing Desk’ brings to light the shocking story of Hamlet’s close friend and tutor, a mysterious hatter, who has more than just a little to do with the young prince’s descent into madness.

  119. Sra Ansted says:

    Betsy and Maurice, two everyday cows about town, approach the altar to be married, but as they say the words “I Moo”, lightning strikes the church, sending the bovine lovers back to the old west, where they must survive in a world populated by humans, face down wrangling cowboys, and escape from the beef slaughterhouse before it’s too late.

  120. An elementary teacher discovers a hidden talent for glow-in-the-dark bowling while out playing with her fellow colleagues and in the coming months as she dominates in Canadian Nationals and the World Cup, she swears she will never desert her students for fame and fortune!

  121. K. McNeil says:

    Butt-plug, a transgender hooker who has a phobia of pooping in public, falls in love with the most unsuspecting character: a turd named Sticky. Together, they find what the true meaning of a bowl movement is.

  122. K. McNeil says:

    1. When Oscar, a homosexual Hispanic who suffers from Obsessive-compulsive disorder, drops his needle in a haystack, he goes on a journey through the straw to not only find the needle, but to find himself.

  123. When aging hipster realizes she is the mother of four kids, she must choose between becoming an Owling master or the PTO Treasurer. There’s only time for one.

  124. When teen attorney Daisy Shackleford stumbles upon a wormhole to another dimension in the 3rd stall of the courthouse restroom, she’s forced to confront her 17 other parallel lives -including her adult self, her infant self, her evil-twin self, herself reincarnated as a toadstool, and her anime doppleganger Nuriona – who together take Daisy on a whirlwind journey…of self-discovery.

    (corrects word length!)

  125. DMcWild says:

    After Dopey surprises Snow White’s unprotected Happy time, Doc tests her positive for Sneezy transmitted disease, thinking the Prince may doubt her charming, and knowing Dopey’s talkative, she seduces Grumpy into threatening Dopey and Happy into remaining Bashful, but when they go missing, Snow considers confessing, worried her Prince is the next target of Grumpy’s big Sleepy.

  126. When teen divorce attorney Daisy Shackleford stumbles upon a wormhole to another dimension in the 3rd stall of the courthouse restroom, she is forced to confront her 17 other parallel lives -including her adult self, her infant self, her evil-twin self, herself reincarnated as a toadstool, and her anime doppleganger Nuriona – all of whom join together to take Daisy on a whirlwind journey…of self-discovery.

  127. Alice Luitjen says:

    Heidi Way stepped off the plane at LaGuardia and immediately began to sense that a meth lab heiress from rural Alabama would have to do more to impress New Yorkers than it took in Knoxville, Tennessee.

    Wanda Mae could not for the lfe of her figure out why her cosmetic business, Lipstick On a Pig, was not successful.

  128. Ruby Arora says:

    If there’s rain, there are droplets and these droplets can make anything and anyone wet to the point that you will need a towel to dry whatever it is that got wet but the question is, what if the rain turns into drops of ketchup?

  129. Ruby Arora says:

    Stripe is not some dumb shirt that hangs in a closet but is a genius, that gets to sit on Chuck’s shoulders day after day and sends him intelligent ideas in return for his sweat on it’s collar, who then comes up with even better ideas and runs various contests.

  130. Jo Lawler says:

    An illiterate writer courts an illustrious literary agent, who mistakes the writer’s passionate pursuit for stalking and files a restraining order, sending the would-be author into a downward spiral of chocoholism, landing her in an institution for illiterate chocoholics with obsessive compulsive disorders, where doctors discover a revolutionary link between chocolate and brilliant writing.

  131. G. Thibodeau says:

    Tempted by the “toot” of another, Deputy McTerribleName, a notoriously flatulent cowboy-vampire, is tricked into ingesting extra-strength Beano, only to discover that his supernatural powers are inextricably linked to his tendency to fart; he must choose between an existence of gassy vampirism and a normal life.

  132. When bum-wiping British chambermaid Anna Angelsoft is plucked from obscurity to become the newly-crowned Queen’s ladies’ maid she must learn to navigate the steaming palace political scene while avoiding the advances of Nigel Crapper, the Queen’s secret lover and the nation’s leading scatologist.

    Adrianne Russell

  133. S.J. Higbee says:

    Sixteen year old Spring Hertle is shocked to discover that she is actually the lovechild of last surviving Roswell alien and beautiful rancher’s daughter Swift Hertle. Will Spring come to terms with her unique body shape, despite the cruel mockery of her classmates? Will she learn to wield the power emitting from her index finger? And what happens when Area 51 is once more visited by an unidentified flying object?

  134. Paula says:

    The bead war started when the rope war ended,because the beads thought the rope should have tried harder.

  135. Davey says:

    With the help of friend and foe alike, the Invisible Man embarks upon a tedious and fruitless journey of self-discovery.

  136. When Jenna McCoy stares in the window of a downtown Manhattan store front for the millionth time, the store mannequins come alive and pull her through the glass into a world of full of vicious vanity, painstaking pretension and never ending narcissism. Jenna will have to find her inner beauty to battle the world of plastic models to fight her way back to reality. Can she come to terms to gain her power or will she find she is at home there?

  137. DMcWild says:

    Erotic dancer, Samantha L Jackson’s sucked aboard a UFO slithering with alien snakes pulsating on poisoning earth, her promising complimentary entertainment spares humanity, but inside their reptilian replicated champagne room, our damsel in undress discovers, besides no sweaty armpits, snakes lack laps, so grinding, grinds to a halt, leaving the charming of their King Cobra–to a basket case.

  138. Rowan Alexander says:

    When the secret of time-travel is discovered by the chickens of Kealy’s Coop, the brave fowl must risk life and wing to save their comrades from the stewpot and escape to deep Egyptian past, where chickens were revered as reincarnates of the god Poultrius.

  139. Stephen J. Hage says:

    While looking for Shangri La, Jason Booker stumbles into Langri Sha where, instead of everything being good and getting better, everything starts out bad and eventually gets horrible.

  140. Rowan Alexander says:

    Mary O’Connell’s life is twisted into a dark parody of nursery rhyme when she uncovers an ancient tome, authored by the mysterious Mother Goose, that claims her great-grandmother Mary the Contrary was a schizophrenic with a passion for gardening; will Mary’s life follow the same evil path?

  141. A rogue zombie risks his own pseudo-immortality as he endeavors to prove to a group of lifelong NRA members in an abandoned building that all any undead creature really wants is a hug.

  142. Jody Wallace says:

    Three little kittens who look so different you can’t even tell they’re related lose their mittens one day. Their mom gets pretty mad and refuses to give them any pie. Also, it turns out the kittens aren’t actually kittens but are stuffed animal puppets being manipulated by aliens doing experiments on cats.

  143. After skydiver Mia Faulin jumps out of a plane, she spots the hunky port-a-potty guy pumping toilets at the landing field so she must apply mascara in free fall and still deploy her parachute in time.

    When a tiny meteor filled with extra terrestrial fleas hits astrobiologist Noah Dea on the noggin, he must jump through hoops to get his SETI research funded or see every doggy day care center in America invaded by a three ring flea circus.

    Heather Hawke
    hawke AT sonic DOT net

  144. Eric Dean says:

    After leafing through all of his collected reciepts relating to bubble gum purchases, John realizes a terrible truth–his bi-weekly coffee shop visit must be delayed one week, thus ruining his cycle…for good.

    (Second Entry)
    Eric Johnson

  145. 1. Alem Argon, a petri dish washer at MIT, was shunned from his Amish settlement. With the outbreak of the Amish Civil War, Alem must choose whether to forsake his former community and the plain girl he loves, or to use his access to unwashed petri dishes full of diarrhea-inducing bacteria to aid them in defeating the opposing forces.

    2. A childless couple grows award-winning pumpkins. One night, a pumpkin cracks open, revealing an infant, and the couple realizes they possess a new resource to help childless couples. But when a group of baby-selling con men discover the magical gourds, the couple is plunged into a race against time to save the babies from certain purchase.

    Thanks, this was fun!
    Kristen Johnson
    kristengjohnson (at) gmail (.) com

    • I’m sorry!! I got so excited to post, I didn’t keep them to one sentence. Here is my revised versions. Again, sorry!!

      1. Alem Argon is a petri dish washer at MIT that was shunned from his Amish settlement, who now at the outset of the Amish Civil War, he must decide whether to forsake his former community and the plain girl he loves, or to use his access to unwashed petri dishes full of diarrhea-inducing bacteria to aid them in defeating the opposing forces.

      2. After a childless, pumpkin-growing couple discovers that their pumpkins grow babies, they are plunged into a race against time when a group of baby-selling con men discovers the magical gourds.

      Kristen Johnson
      kristengjohnson (at) gmail (.) com

  146. Voni Harris says:

    Kathy is a top contender on the reality show “World’s Worst Housewife,” but will her alliance with Dir T. cost her the dish-washing portion of the contest?

  147. Janet says:

    1. Mick and Tony are assigned a top secret mission. The fate of the world depends on their success. Armed only with a weed-eater and an empty can of WD-40, they must break into an unlocked desk drawer before the world implodes, fulfilling the Mayan prophesy. Will they finish their coffee in time?

    2. Tired of living the tortured life of a propane heiress, Carmen Veranda flees her family home at noon, leaving behind only her Justin Bieber poster and a note that reads, “I can’t stand being hounded by the paparazzi any longer. Don’t try to find me. I’m going to live with the guy who rents the apartment above the garage.”

  148. Voni Harris says:

    Word has it that the winner of last year’s National Staring Contest now has eyes that are “frozen like that,” but this year’s winners still covet the $100 prize.

  149. Rowenna says:

    When the ghost of Martin Van Buren appears in Susan’s shower and Taft’s poltergeist destroys her bidet, she discovers her bathroom is a portal for forgotten presidents, all of whom are interested in one thing: enlisting the hapless luddite’s assistance in programming their afterlife-equipped TiVO.

    Rowenna Miller
    rowenna.miller at gmail dot com

  150. Wes Hodges says:

    After escaping a military raid, a peg-legged, one-eyed, Yemeni terrorist disguises himself as a woman and hides out as a secretary on the sixty-seventh floor of The Freedom Tower where he learns to embrace lattes, Uggs, and skinny jeans, fall in love, and become a fine secretary – until his friends seek to draw him back to their next plot.

  151. Skinny jean knitting aficionado Endora Frump is swept into a life and death struggle when her knitting bag is confiscated by dashing CIA agent Bartholomew Rigs in his attempt to unravel the clues to her subconsciously knitted messages describing to an attack on Earth at the tentacles of alien galactic fashion police.

  152. Paul Paire says:

    After reading manuscript written by a Satanist, a literary agent, Harry Claws, becomes possessed whereupon he tracks down and disembowels authors who don’t follow proper submission guidelines until his mistress, and confidant, Emily Dearheart, discovers his secret and launches her own campaign to find a cure for him which, unfortunately, turns out to be to write her own book.

  153. Aimee Duffy says:

    An auld pissed geezer doon the Barras pits his fist through a windae and ends up in the slammer war he bumps inta a man he wants tae marry

  154. C. Gullickson says:

    Bob and Jill Smith are happily married in their mid-40s, with zero conflict between them, no children, and totally mediocre work lives as IRS analysts.

  155. After years of rejection letters, a frustrated author wins a Worst Storyline Ever contest and is awarded a publishing contract, meaning she now has three weeks to draft a novel based on her entry: Ten toddlers compete to host new reality show – Pole Dancing Preschool.

  156. Care Morency says:

    Aoeia Drkstyk was living a quiet life as the assistant zoning commissioner of Crest Valley, Illinois until she accidentally inhales the fumes from a mosquito-abatement truck in the public works garage. Now the city has added bug-killing to her list of duties, and the permits for the new gas station, nail salon and vacuum cleaner store are weeks overdue.

  157. J. Watier says:

    When New York Times best selling romance author Jane Emily is transported into the pages of her book, she quickly finds out that sugary sweet romances don’t exist, and the tall, dark and rugged cowboy is nothing more than a drunk and lazy womanizer, so she gives up writing to join a convent in order to find happiness.

  158. DS Torres says:

    Denzel Brown Jackson, President of the United States, gets a healthy dose of reality when the First Lady bitch slaps him down the steps of the White house and takes off with his female Republican rival stating, “Once you go White, you learn to get down with the Right.”

  159. Eric Dean says:

    In a world controlled by humans, one farm animal dares to be different.

  160. GInger Marcinkowski says:

    Upon her mothers’s death, 42 year-old Carly Martin, wanna-be dancer, discovers her long-missing audition tape in her mother’s dusty accordian case, setting off a family feud when Carly decides to follow up on her thwarted dream of becoming a Rockette….despite now having only one leg.

    Power and pity collide when a dim-witted farm boy is thrust into the world of cow-pie slinging and espionage when he unknowingly hacks into the IPad of an Iowan hog-lot owner whose death threats force the boy to choose between the lives of his brother or his brilliant, prize-winning pig.

  161. Frank Tuttle says:

    Finding romance on the road was never easy for carnival roustabout Melvin “Methmouth” Morris — until a thunderstorm in Georgia forced him into sassy donkey Miss Petunia’s tiny traveling stall, where Methmouth Melvin and randy ruminant Miss Petunia discover a forbidden love that spans not just species but space and time itself!

  162. When crosswalk guard Tillie discovers a mini Ugg boot Al Qaeda on the schoolyard she must take matters into her own hands and dig an underground tunnel using only a toy shovel in order to save the children from the deadly hot stinky foot fungus that threatens to kill an entire generation of fashion plate children.

  163. After listening to one ugly guy too many talk about whether or not the new gal in the office is cute, cubicle squatter extraordinaire Lindsay embarks on a dangerous mission to hang mirrors in every pot-bellied executive’s office in this nail biting thriller Men Who Can’t See How Bald They Are.

  164. Joseph Baran says:

    Logline #1
    When a world renowned psychiatrist decides to go over the Niagara Falls, he sets out into the woods to find a perfect tree to make for himself a comfortable barrel, a really comfortable barrel.

    Logline #2
    When a big runaway train carrying nuclear waste and school lunch threatens to destroy a small town, it’s up to an unemployed circus clown Ted to decouple the diesel locomotive and apply the brakes, keeping the schoolchildren from becoming teenage-mutant turtles, if he can only catch the train running in his clown shoes.

  165. Jennifer says:

    Double agent Roy Sanders finds 53 million dollars and decides to spend the next 40 years doing nothing but knitting the worlds longest scarf, using wools from around the world, till Russian Intel find out and declare war, thrusting Roy unexpectedly back into the undercover world to steal their wool and reagin their trust.

  166. Bill Greer says:

    A group of vampires takes to the sea to spread terror and make their fortune, but they can only strike at night because they’re . . . Vampirates!

  167. When the preacher’s shy son realizes his new college is a notorious party school and his new roommate is the hottest girl on campus, he moves back home and registers online with the University of Phoenix.

  168. Holly Dennler says:

    Logline #1
    Weregator Marcus Reptilia seeks justice for his fellow crocodilian and the atrocities they must endure during the annual hunting season regulated by wildlife officials.

    Logline #2
    Enamored with the sound of his name being paged at the local hospital, Doctor Samuel Doctor is determined to see all 5 of his children follow in his footsteps.

  169. When the vampire falls in love with the weir wolf they go on a blood thirsty binge on the full moon. Only the chaste doe eyed Mary can save the village from further bloodletting.

  170. Angela Goff says:

    Marley sets out to fulfill his lifelong dream of having his rock collection on permanent display at the Smithsonian Museum.

  171. Kjlfrd, Supreme leader of the Akstgd, a flesh-eating race from planet Jdrft, falls in love with his dinner, Ethel, who just happens to be the last remaining human female on Earth. Not only must he fight his own instincts and the ravening hordes of his own people, he is also up against the last remaining human male who needs Ethel if the human race is to survive.

  172. Angela Goff says:

    Nibs the vegetarian butcher works to put things right after a misunderstanding with the local mortuary leaves him with a huge debt, a reticulated python and a lifetime supply of spam.

  173. Kevin Ott says:

    1. A batologist (one who studies brambles) leaves his bramble research lab in Shafter, California and journeys to Merced, California to avoid jury duty.

    2. When a merciless IRS auditor changes careers and becomes a coffee barista, things get awkward when he realizes that his attractive co-worker doesn’t like math.

    Kevin Ott

  174. Leah says:

    A beautiful, curvaceous software developer falls asleep in her drab, grey cubicle and awakens in one of her toddler’s brightly-colored, Futurist-themed drawings. Realizing her toddler is truly a magical super-genius resentful of the hours of Elmo to which she has been subjected, our fearful protagonist spends the rest of her life crying into a purple Magic Marker line.

  175. This psychological thriller follows the shattered lives of eleven youth soccer players whose assistant coach walked into a forest to retrieve a lost soccer ball and never walked out again.

  176. A junkie and his cat eat cheese puffs and reminisce about their summer–after numerous junk food binges, B-rated movies, and sporadic naps, the junkie realizes that his cat is actually a vice cop who is trying to bust him.

  177. A literary agent by day, a vampire by night, Chuck finds himself the only defense against a terrorist plot to bring America to its knees by flooding the market with self-published e-books until literacy dies out, leaving only TV programs containing hidden messages promoting dastardly ideals.

    Richard Mabry
    DrRLMabry at yahoo dot com

  178. A troubled woman struggling with the sense that she doesn’t fit in anywhere ponders the idea of an operation to alter her gender only to realize that she is satisfied being female, it is her humanity that troubles her; so she sets off on a journey to be the first person ever to undergo a species change.

  179. An ex-pat family living in Doha,Qatar adopts a street cat of Royal Egyptian Mau bloodlines, only to find when they return back to their house in Calgary, she begins displaying disturbing and unnatural powers as she sits like a gargoyle on the garden fence surveying her neighbourhood kingdom.

  180. otin says:

    A large and powerful nation stops chasing the enemy and then sets their sights upon a weak third world country in order to establish peace in the region by toppling their government, in turn creating a financial crisis that lasts two decades!

  181. 1. When a successful psychiatrist has recurring dreams about a rainbow-colored shark that sings opera non-stop because he lost his soul to a human, she becomes convinced she has his soul and must find him and return it.

    2. It’s fight-or-flight when a half dog, half goose with the mind of a cat awakens from a laboratory experiment to find himself in a cage, waiting to take part in a dog fight run by polar bears.

  182. Andrea Nell says:

    On a quest to fulfill her destiny to become a show girl in Los Vegas, a salamander from a swamp in back country Virginia must overcome prejudice against her size, color and general sliminess to earn a place on the chorus line.

  183. T. Rhodes says:

    A blind and deaf boxing star has only 24 hours to master surgical arts when his Seeing Eye Dog dies from swallowing the only clue that could prove him innocent of the murder of a pop singer.

  184. Amy Vega says:

    When the kiss cam is brought in to liven up a presidential state of the union address, bitter political rivals Patrick and Cindy are forced to exchange a smooch on national television, which sparks a forbidden romance between the two… but will love enough to conquer all for this tea party Republican vampire and Democrat werewolf couple?

  185. Thomas Denton is a retired circus performer who through a stroke of fate, discovers he’s been given the ability to see the future by wearing a set of mystical dentures, and realizes that he and his juggling squirrel, Nutsy, must use their remarkable gifts to fight crime and bring peace to an otherwise lawless nursing home community.

  186. Ginny Martyn says:

    1. Meet Tantric, the organic diaper. While he may look like happy organic diaper, he secretly longs to be a burp cloth; join him as he learns an important lesson about loving who you are designed to be.

    2. When a team of maggots team up to take down the world’s most popular fast food chain, chaos ensues! As the maggots efficiently rot the nation’s meat supply they are recognized by America’s Special Forces and become the next secret weapon in biological warfare.

  187. Two teenage vampires discover an ancient scroll when terrorists bomb thei senior prom, leading them on adventure to find the Holy Grail.

  188. R.J. Griffith says:

    A horrible railroading accident leaves Hero limbless and stranded in the middle of a surburband jungle with no hope of making it home to his transexual son who is going through a divorce.

  189. J.D. Frost says:

    Clint Stone, a forensic waste inspector, faces his toughest case when the wife of an experimental pasta chef is found dead outside a Chinese tapas restaurant.

  190. The moment-by-moment adventures of a sloth who, seeking excitement, creeps away from his tree and faces dangers such as fast-moving cars and predators.

    George Vapor sets to change the atmosphere of the country by fating his way through all fifty states.

    Heather Marsten

  191. The peer pressured life of a lonely, geeky adolescent can be devastating, but Jeremy, known as Chubby J-monkey, has found a way to deal with his nightmare world, an escape from the emotional pain – through an adventure in nose picking….

  192. For literary agent Chuck Q. Eery, newly married and recently hired by an all-star agency, things couldn’t get any better, but everything changed when his life began to supernaturally mirror each new book query he received, plunging his existence into the seedy underworld of Amish Vampires, apocalyptic wizards, and passive verbs.

  193. Vladamir Vampire,secret FBI agent extraordinaire and moonlighting Kindergarten teacher, is fighting against the clock to find a cure for Mad Cow Disease and save his Grandmother who suffers from the disease, all the while wondering which of his job he prefers or if he should just open his own blood-tasting salon.

  194. DT Berkowitz says:

    When former KKK member Tom Anderson falls in love with a mysterious voodoo lady from New Orleans, he’ll have to face down his own terrible past as well as the voodoo lady’s ex-lover, the evil magician Rolo, who threatens the duo’s love and safety with an army of hypnotized alligators.

  195. The Winters dream home has become their darkest nightmare – a possessed fridge where the cheese speaks in tongues, a robot R2D2 chasing the kids down the hall, and Joe Winter is slowly transforming into a cartoon mouse. Only Sheilla Winter can save them by acquiescing to the evil carnal desires of Father Max Crispin – but will she succumb to save her family?

  196. Mercey V says:

    Oscar the Grouch gets in touch with his inner self after moving to the ambiguous hamlet of Outer Buttecrack where the citizens arise each day at sparrow’s fart for refried chilli beans at the Paris Hilton. It’s a tough call when already Oscar must come to terms with the horrible truth there’s a hand growing inside him he cannot escape.

  197. Anders Bylund says:

    Faced with the unbearable ennui of the suburbanite lifestyle, Steve Blanderson embarks on an epic quest to find alternatives to the suddenly overpriced Netflix service — including such life-changing measures as online piracy, flea-market prowls, and switching his Venti Frappucino to a Grande.


    An overweight plumber wakes up one morning in a magical dreamland filled with gold coins, evil mushrooms, fire-spewing dragosaurs, and at least one kidnapped princess in need of a mustachioed rescuer — but maybe it’s all just a dream.

    (Disclosure: I’ve gotten one freelancer paycheck from F+W Media for articles in the 2011 Songwriter’s Market, but have never been an employee, director, or officer of the company.)

  198. A little girl dreams of becoming Miss America. Her diva mother makes it happen despite the girl’s fear of bathing suits.

  199. Julie Hubert says:

    Susie is captured by a sociopathic television marketer and forced to join the reality show circuit of losing weight, becoming a singing idol, while dancing with the stars and living with big brother and eight kids.

  200. Bill Devol says:


    When the Biblical Seven Deadly Plagues befall his Alabama high school, freshman transfer student Aaron Abramowitz must convince his antisemitic classmates that his knowledge of the Old Testament is their only hope.


    Nancy’s perfect life is shattered when she is chosen as the next victim of serial kilter Alastar Macfarlane who dresses his victims in traditional Scottish costumes.

  201. Pete Dulin says:

    While four buddies reunite ten years after college at Los Gringos restaurant, drink margaritas and “solve THE WORLD’S PROBLEMS,” an enchanted asteroid swerves close to Earth, disrupts the magnetic field, makes the world’s problems disappear and ultimately reminds The Mook and his pals to be careful what you wish for in this comic farce meets sci-fi action thriller.

  202. Jodi Aman says:

    After a practical joke went awry and Linnette lost mobility in her right thumbnail, she turned to the dark side by getting revenge on the rabbit that hurt her and the doctor who would now never walk again.

  203. Vera Soroka says:

    Five house cats decide to have some fun one night and break out of the house and steal the van and go on a ride and along the way they pick up three rogue mice who infilitrate them into a underground rodent operation.


  204. Peter DeHaan says:

    In this fast-paced action thriller, protagonist Peter Piper is shocked to realize that his thumbnail needs to be trimmed, but lacking the appropriate tool to do so, he is left in a quandary as to how to proceed, all the while suspecting that the fate of mankind must surely rest in the balance.

    Ladd, half-wonder dog, half mutt, is a caped super hero at night and a lovable, albeit lazy pet during the day, but when a sudden disaster strikes in the daylight hours, Ladd must choose between revealing his true identity and… “Squirrel! Did someone say, ‘squirrel’?”

  205. Brad H. says:

    In a heart-pounding story of rapid action and courtroom suspense, a bewildered Jerry must face government corruption and carefully choose his loyalty when his lisping cat, after being attacked by an “a-tailant” with a squeaky rocking chair, abandons his litter box to seek revenge on Jerry’s grandmother.

  206. When a klutzy Amish maiden trips through a portal in the feed barn and is wisked into a bustling 3012AD cityscape, she must traverse three technology packed blocks to a mythical portapotty without compromising her faith in a world where sedentary humans have evolved away their legs and are cursed with motionless flippers and Awesome wheel chair jets.

    Kristen Wilks

  207. Sarah Thomas says:

    Classic characters Elizabeth Bennett and Fitwilliam Darcy are thrust into a world populated by zombies . . . oh wait. That’s been done.

    How about this:
    Regency England will never be the same after Stella the Pekinese from an alternate world where dogs rule discovers that humans will feed her bonbons and pick up her poop—let the invasion begin.

  208. E. M. Henderson says:

    Alexander the nerd always dreamed of being famous, and when the school band plans to take a trip to Oklahoma, he figures this is his chance. Can he learn to play the tuba in time for his Oklahoma City debut? And will he capture the heart of the toothless pianist?

  209. Susan Bourgeois says:

    A blood-sucking Boca Raton socialite is fighting for the #1 position on her elite tennis league but soon realizes she needs to find fresh blood from a professional athlete in order to cinch the title at the championship match.

    s. bourgeois

  210. Jodi Aman says:

    Once she realized the wicked pink pangolin was immortal, Hermilla resentfully resumes her position as second fiddle for the queen of the sloth army in this epic novel of love and loss, and banana cream pie.

  211. Dee Krull says:

    While riding his bike a fourteen old boy hears a strange noise that a woman who owns a Newfoundland puppy kennel told him was the call of bigfoot and if he heard it he should hide in the thistle patch and hold his breath so the thistles won’t sting him, but he is scared he can’t hold his breath that long so instead he closes his eyes hoping bigfoot won’t see him.

  212. After an invasion of fingernail licking zebra-snails, the village idiot, Huck Mambochino, enters a dance contest for dwarves and must invent a new hip-hop move before the clock strikes thirteen and he turns into a fig leaf covered sex symbol.

  213. When a post-menopausal fourteen year old boy learns he’s the spawn of an advanced race of cave-dwellers in Utah and an interplanetary queen, he begins a quest down Route 66 to get fodder for a mandatory Gym class term paper, an A on which will release him from a $5 bet with a hot cheerleader.

  214. Keith Cronin says:

    GUMS: A decrepit old toothless shark terrorizes – well, annoys, really – a New England town during the height of tourist season, leaving nasty bruises and a lingering fishy smell on its victims.

  215. Stephen King says:

    Terribly bored housewife Jean learns that her cousin’s best friend is actually Superman in disguise, but after months of heroic attempts to join his exploits she learns that there truly is no S-cape in her life.

  216. Gwen Stewart says:

    The half-unicorn farting a rainbow…I shall never forget it… it’s a burr stuck in my brain forever.

    (What fun, though!)

  217. Neil Vogler says:

    Prim accountant Matt Matticks finds his precisely-ordered world turned upside down when he meets a small talking rock on a deserted road whose Scottish-accented words only he can hear — and finds that this special rock has only one wish: to start the world’s funkiest jazz fusion combo!

  218. otin says:

    A guy with narcolepsy tries to drive across the country without sleeping.

  219. T.A. de Lind says:

    In this pungent documentary event, be there as the man who immortalised TV alien Superman for 65 years on our TV screens chronicles his brave return to obscurity, tells about the predatory death of the replica Lex Luthor he never knew, and Green Goblin’s reassuringly noxious friendship. It’ll take more than a pocketful of kryptonite to wake this guy up.

  220. Taryn says:

    Mushroom farmer E. Tingmore’s dream of working for the privatized marshmallow factory owned by his aunt’s Burmese turns into a nightmare when his dog keeps him housebound, aiming a loaded tennis ball at his head, forcing him to dress like the Michelin Man as a substitute. Can E put the Eat back in marshmallow and defect to Burma before dinnertime?

  221. Jackie Ley says:

    Frustrated left-handed housewife, Helen, tired of wearing out one rubber glove before the other, goes on a quest for right-handed housewives with whom she can exchange undamaged rubber gloves.

  222. Robert Burroughs says:

    A man falls in love with his cat so he creates a machine to transform himself into a cat. The machine works, but it also transforms his cat into a beautiful woman. Before he can fix his mistake the machine breaks. Now he must find a way to change back or remain a cat forever.

  223. Sherri says:

    Riley the wonder dog has been writing a blog called The Dogs of Domination encouraging dogs everywhere to rise up against their oppressive masters and take back control, but his owner has discovered his plan and Riley must now kill her to save himself and his plan, but getting her into the backyard for burial is a real drag!

    Sherri Stone

  224. Ann Elise Monte says:

    An ancient prophecy has chosen Hepzibah Exoticnamus to save the world from the sentient cattle that live across the street, but she just stays home and watches TV while her neighbors are slaughtered.

  225. Out of place and alone in a world of giants and elves Tiny Big is somewhere in-between, not big enough to hurl castles into the sea, too big to play leap-frog with toad stools, so when tiny princess Illallananni falls for the medium sized malformation only her love could be large enough to bridge the gap between small and medium.

  226. In a future where paranormal is normal and normal is anything but, a human boy must defend his normalcy and prove he’s not a threat to the paranormal world, however falling in love with his hybrid vampire-wolf defense attorney may threaten the entire case and leave them both NOTHING BUT NORMAL.

  227. A young woman develops a love-hate relationship with an imaginary character Hurt, even coming to appreciate his cold, distant aloofness as her relationship of choice and allowing him to massage the jagged contours of her broken heart with his cold bony fingers, after she faces rejection and betrayal from those who were near and dear to her.

  228. 1. Luke Snotsucker goes on an interstellar journey after suffering years of sinus infections, to become the galactic yodelling champion of the century.

    2. Libby Rottingham becomes infected with the Zombie disease and goes on a quest to find the best sanitary product to keep the maggots in, only she meets Brandon and as they fall in love she wonders if he loves her enough to care about her maggot problem.

  229. 1. Ted, a new zombie,devises a plan to use bacon and cupcakes to fend off fellow zombies while wearing a penguin suit to keep humans from asking questions as he works towards accomplishing his dream of becoming an astronaut.

    2. A mathematician discovers the formula for death and uses it to grow a rock garden where he discovers a licorice web spinning spider.

  230. Noveldoctor says:

    When the pilot and co-pilot of a Pan Am DC-7 are accidentally hypnotized into a deep sleep by swaying Mardi Gras beads dangling from an ironic rear view mirror, passenger and speed-reading pioneer Evelyn Wood must engage in a race against time to retain pertinent information in a pilot’s manual so she can land the plane safely and on time.

  231. Angela Schultz says:

    Duffy, the narcoleptic squirrel, falls asleep one day and wakes up as the President of the United States with his gnarly little finger hovering over the RED BUTTON!!! Will he avert a nuclear disaster or create one? It’s Air Force One with a pile of nuts!

  232. Angela Schultz says:

    Duffy, the narcoleptic squirrel, falls asleep one day and wakes up as the President of the United States — with his gnarly little finger hovering over the RED BUTTON! Will he avert a nuclear disaster or create one? It’s Air Force One with a pile of nuts!

  233. Bailish says:

    A woman robs her fiance before leaving him for a poor boy, but saves herself while she watches the boy freeze to death. Years later, she throws away the stolen jewel.

  234. Farishna Brown says:

    A werewolf prowls the forest catching black bunnies and white furs until a shiny dramatic blast sends him to a universe full of goblins and spiders where he meets a princess that fell in love with him.

  235. ED Martin says:

    When half-elf cop Beowin Shadowchaser’s partner is murdered, Beowin must overcome his love of alcohol and prostitutes to find the killer, leading him through dark werewolf-filled streets and back into the arms of his former lover, a vampire who knows Beowin is the child of the prophecy who could defeat her plan to destroy the city with fire-breathing dragons.

  236. After his poodle playmate next door goes blind from cataracts, Charlie, a cute but imperious bichon frise, attempts to drive her out of the neighborhood, believing she will slow down the dog pack and expose it to predators.

  237. BJ Muntain says:

    A deaf and blind little old dog must sniff out and disarm five nuclear bombs planted throughout the city – but he can’t count past three…

    BJ Muntain
    Bjmuntain @ sasktel . net

  238. The poignant tale of Darleese, a feisty female fashion diva with chronic allergies who develops a romantic relationship with her upholstered footstool, only to realize it is an inanimate object not capable of returning her affection, a revelation that sends her on self-destructive shopping trips to seedy thrift stores that have nothing flattering in her size.

  239. Alissa Hart says:

    Jasmine never believed in love, herself, or koalas, but when she tumbles out a window and lands on a microscopic dust-world, she falls in love with a koala who teaches her that she can achieve anything, even firing herself from her self-owned paperclip store.

  240. Melinda Hardeman says:

    When a pizza boy showed up at his next delivery, he finds himself sucked into the seedy world of the comic book black market where he’s forced to dress as unknown comic book characters and pimp himself out in order to support the 500 pound “comic-godfather”‘s pizza habit, the only way out is to convince him to attend Comicon where he plans to make a break for it.

Site by Author Media © Rachelle Gardner.