The Worst Storyline Ever Contest

Chuck_SambuchinoGuest Blogger: Chuck Sambuchino

To celebrate the release of the brand-new 2012 Guide to Literary Agents, I am bringing back one of my most popular recurring contests: The “Worst Storyline Ever” Contest. Except this time, it’s hosted on Rachelle’s blog. So if you’re looking for an agent and want a big database, check out the book. And if you’ve got a horrible idea for a story, I want to hear about it. Welcome to the “Worst Storyline Ever” Contest—a competition that encourages terrible loglines.

“Worst Storyline Ever” Contest

A logline is a one-sentence line that explains what your story is about and shows the “hook” – the unique idea that makes people want to see more. You see loglines all the time on the back of DVD boxes. Here are some examples:

  • “Three middle-aged men defeat their midlife crises by starting a college fraternity.” (Old School)
  • “When a Roman general is betrayed and his family murdered by an evil emperor, he comes to Rome as a gladiator to seek revenge.” (Gladiator)
  • “In a future where criminals are arrested before the crime occurs, a cop struggles on the lam to prove his innocence for a murder he has not yet committed.” (Minority Report)

But that’s all the examples I’m going to give you, because I’m not looking for good examples of a logline; I’m looking for bad examples. Nay – terrible, stupid, “oh-my-gosh-that-idea-REEKS” examples.

Examples of Bad Loglines (Previous Winners/Finalists):

1. “After an unidentified cow swallows an armed nuclear device in a botched Homeland Security raid, Agent Tom Anderson is thrust into an unlikely partnership with buxom organic farmer Daisy Jones to sift through three hundred cows and 10 barns full of manure as the clock runs down in a desperate quest to save Kansas City from a moo-clear disaster.”

2. “A young woman discovers she is half unicorn after farting a rainbow at her bat mitzvah, and must go on a hijinx-filled voyage of self discovery to find her real father and fit as ‘one of the herd.’ “

3. “Leonard the narcoleptic snail sets out on his lifelong dream of running the Boston Marathon while humming ‘Macarena,’ and invites you to join the excitement in real time.”

Here are the rules:

  1. Stick to the format, but have fun with the idea. You want your logline to be one sentence only and must be 60 words or fewer, and explain what the movie/book is about. It’s what you put in that one sentence that will win you this competition. So the trick is to make your logline a terribly creative idea that’s pitched in a minimal, professional manner.
  2. The contest will go until the end of the day, 11:59 p.m., PST, Tues, Oct. 3, 2011. Submissions received after that will not be considered.
  3. I will judge the contest, with some possible input from other WD and WD Books staffers.
  4. To participate, simply click on “Comments” at the end of this post and leave your submission as a comment with your full name and e-mail. You must include your e-mail. If you are super paranoid about leaving your name, use “L. Martin Smith” instead of “Leonard Smith.”
  5. You can submit up to two (2) bad loglines. You can include both in the same comment post as you wish.
  6. The contest is open to everyone of all ages, save those employees, officers and directors of GLA’s publisher, F+W Media (formerly F+W Publications).
  7. If you have any questions about the contest, do not leave them in the comments and do not e-mail Rachelle. E-mail me directly at literaryagent@fwmedia.com

The Prizes:

First prize:

1) A query letter critique from me. 2) A copy of the 2012 Guide to Literary Agents. 3) Praise on this blog from yours truly.

Two runner-up prizes:

A copy of the 2012 Guide to Literary Agents.

Good luck!!!

###

Children's marketChuck Sambuchino is an editor and a writer. He edits Guide to Literary Agents  as well as Children’s Writers & Illustrator’s Market. His humor book, How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack, was released in Sept. 2010. The film rights were recently optioned by Sony and director Robert Zemeckis. Besides that, he is a produced playwright, magazine freelancer, husband, cover band guitarist, chocolate chip cookie fiend, and owner of a flabby-yet-lovable dog named Graham.

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      I like it.

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  • Angela Goff

    Nibs the vegetarian butcher works to put things right after a misunderstanding with the local mortuary leaves him with a huge debt, a reticulated python and a lifetime supply of spam.

    • Bill Devol

      Now, that’s entertainment. Thanks; you made me laugh.

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  • Angela Goff

    Marley sets out to fulfill his lifelong dream of having his rock collection on permanent display at the Smithsonian Museum.

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  • http://crowproductions.com joan Cimyotte

    When the vampire falls in love with the weir wolf they go on a blood thirsty binge on the full moon. Only the chaste doe eyed Mary can save the village from further bloodletting.

  • Holly Dennler

    Logline #1
    Weregator Marcus Reptilia seeks justice for his fellow crocodilian and the atrocities they must endure during the annual hunting season regulated by wildlife officials.

    Logline #2
    Enamored with the sound of his name being paged at the local hospital, Doctor Samuel Doctor is determined to see all 5 of his children follow in his footsteps.

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    When the preacher’s shy son realizes his new college is a notorious party school and his new roommate is the hottest girl on campus, he moves back home and registers online with the University of Phoenix.

  • Bill Greer

    A group of vampires takes to the sea to spread terror and make their fortune, but they can only strike at night because they’re . . . Vampirates!

  • Jennifer

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  • Joseph Baran

    Logline #1
    When a world renowned psychiatrist decides to go over the Niagara Falls, he sets out into the woods to find a perfect tree to make for himself a comfortable barrel, a really comfortable barrel.

    Logline #2
    When a big runaway train carrying nuclear waste and school lunch threatens to destroy a small town, it’s up to an unemployed circus clown Ted to decouple the diesel locomotive and apply the brakes, keeping the schoolchildren from becoming teenage-mutant turtles, if he can only catch the train running in his clown shoes.

    • http://www.stephanielreed.com Stephanie Reed

      Oh dear, the visual of Ted’s legs pistoning to compensate for the clown shoes so he can stop the train…heehee.

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    After listening to one ugly guy too many talk about whether or not the new gal in the office is cute, cubicle squatter extraordinaire Lindsay embarks on a dangerous mission to hang mirrors in every pot-bellied executive’s office in this nail biting thriller Men Who Can’t See How Bald They Are.

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    When crosswalk guard Tillie discovers a mini Ugg boot Al Qaeda on the schoolyard she must take matters into her own hands and dig an underground tunnel using only a toy shovel in order to save the children from the deadly hot stinky foot fungus that threatens to kill an entire generation of fashion plate children.

  • http://www.franktuttle.com Frank Tuttle

    Finding romance on the road was never easy for carnival roustabout Melvin “Methmouth” Morris — until a thunderstorm in Georgia forced him into sassy donkey Miss Petunia’s tiny traveling stall, where Methmouth Melvin and randy ruminant Miss Petunia discover a forbidden love that spans not just species but space and time itself!

  • GInger Marcinkowski

    Upon her mothers’s death, 42 year-old Carly Martin, wanna-be dancer, discovers her long-missing audition tape in her mother’s dusty accordian case, setting off a family feud when Carly decides to follow up on her thwarted dream of becoming a Rockette….despite now having only one leg.

    Power and pity collide when a dim-witted farm boy is thrust into the world of cow-pie slinging and espionage when he unknowingly hacks into the IPad of an Iowan hog-lot owner whose death threats force the boy to choose between the lives of his brother or his brilliant, prize-winning pig.

  • Eric Dean

    In a world controlled by humans, one farm animal dares to be different.

  • http://www.canamauthorservices.com DS Torres

    Denzel Brown Jackson, President of the United States, gets a healthy dose of reality when the First Lady bitch slaps him down the steps of the White house and takes off with his female Republican rival stating, “Once you go White, you learn to get down with the Right.”

  • J. Watier

    When New York Times best selling romance author Jane Emily is transported into the pages of her book, she quickly finds out that sugary sweet romances don’t exist, and the tall, dark and rugged cowboy is nothing more than a drunk and lazy womanizer, so she gives up writing to join a convent in order to find happiness.

  • http://caremorency.blogspot.com/ Care Morency

    Aoeia Drkstyk was living a quiet life as the assistant zoning commissioner of Crest Valley, Illinois until she accidentally inhales the fumes from a mosquito-abatement truck in the public works garage. Now the city has added bug-killing to her list of duties, and the permits for the new gas station, nail salon and vacuum cleaner store are weeks overdue.

  • http://www.juliecantrell.com Julie Cantrell

    After years of rejection letters, a frustrated author wins a Worst Storyline Ever contest and is awarded a publishing contract, meaning she now has three weeks to draft a novel based on her entry: Ten toddlers compete to host new reality show – Pole Dancing Preschool.

  • C. Gullickson

    Bob and Jill Smith are happily married in their mid-40s, with zero conflict between them, no children, and totally mediocre work lives as IRS analysts.

  • http://aimeexdx.blogspot.com/ Aimee Duffy

    An auld pissed geezer doon the Barras pits his fist through a windae and ends up in the slammer war he bumps inta a man he wants tae marry

  • Paul Paire

    After reading manuscript written by a Satanist, a literary agent, Harry Claws, becomes possessed whereupon he tracks down and disembowels authors who don’t follow proper submission guidelines until his mistress, and confidant, Emily Dearheart, discovers his secret and launches her own campaign to find a cure for him which, unfortunately, turns out to be to write her own book.

  • http://www.examiner.com/childrens-literature-in-chicago/elizabeth-mackinney Beth MacKinney

    Skinny jean knitting aficionado Endora Frump is swept into a life and death struggle when her knitting bag is confiscated by dashing CIA agent Bartholomew Rigs in his attempt to unravel the clues to her subconsciously knitted messages describing to an attack on Earth at the tentacles of alien galactic fashion police.

  • http://www.thebattlebooks.com Wes Hodges

    After escaping a military raid, a peg-legged, one-eyed, Yemeni terrorist disguises himself as a woman and hides out as a secretary on the sixty-seventh floor of The Freedom Tower where he learns to embrace lattes, Uggs, and skinny jeans, fall in love, and become a fine secretary – until his friends seek to draw him back to their next plot.

  • http://hyalineprosaic.blogspot.com Rowenna

    When the ghost of Martin Van Buren appears in Susan’s shower and Taft’s poltergeist destroys her bidet, she discovers her bathroom is a portal for forgotten presidents, all of whom are interested in one thing: enlisting the hapless luddite’s assistance in programming their afterlife-equipped TiVO.

    Rowenna Miller
    rowenna.miller at gmail dot com

  • http://vonildawrites.livejournal.com Voni Harris

    Word has it that the winner of last year’s National Staring Contest now has eyes that are “frozen like that,” but this year’s winners still covet the $100 prize.

  • Janet

    1. Mick and Tony are assigned a top secret mission. The fate of the world depends on their success. Armed only with a weed-eater and an empty can of WD-40, they must break into an unlocked desk drawer before the world implodes, fulfilling the Mayan prophesy. Will they finish their coffee in time?

    2. Tired of living the tortured life of a propane heiress, Carmen Veranda flees her family home at noon, leaving behind only her Justin Bieber poster and a note that reads, “I can’t stand being hounded by the paparazzi any longer. Don’t try to find me. I’m going to live with the guy who rents the apartment above the garage.”

  • http://vonildawrites.livejournal.com Voni Harris

    Kathy is a top contender on the reality show “World’s Worst Housewife,” but will her alliance with Dir T. cost her the dish-washing portion of the contest?

  • http://adventuresofhistorygirl.blogspot.com Kristen Johnson

    1. Alem Argon, a petri dish washer at MIT, was shunned from his Amish settlement. With the outbreak of the Amish Civil War, Alem must choose whether to forsake his former community and the plain girl he loves, or to use his access to unwashed petri dishes full of diarrhea-inducing bacteria to aid them in defeating the opposing forces.

    2. A childless couple grows award-winning pumpkins. One night, a pumpkin cracks open, revealing an infant, and the couple realizes they possess a new resource to help childless couples. But when a group of baby-selling con men discover the magical gourds, the couple is plunged into a race against time to save the babies from certain purchase.

    Thanks, this was fun!
    Kristen Johnson
    kristengjohnson (at) gmail (.) com

    • http://adventuresofhistorygirl.blogspot.com Kristen Johnson

      I’m sorry!! I got so excited to post, I didn’t keep them to one sentence. Here is my revised versions. Again, sorry!!

      1. Alem Argon is a petri dish washer at MIT that was shunned from his Amish settlement, who now at the outset of the Amish Civil War, he must decide whether to forsake his former community and the plain girl he loves, or to use his access to unwashed petri dishes full of diarrhea-inducing bacteria to aid them in defeating the opposing forces.

      2. After a childless, pumpkin-growing couple discovers that their pumpkins grow babies, they are plunged into a race against time when a group of baby-selling con men discovers the magical gourds.

      Kristen Johnson
      kristengjohnson (at) gmail (.) com

  • Eric Dean

    After leafing through all of his collected reciepts relating to bubble gum purchases, John realizes a terrible truth–his bi-weekly coffee shop visit must be delayed one week, thus ruining his cycle…for good.

    (Second Entry)
    Eric Johnson
    ericofav@gmail.com

  • http://heatherhawke.com Heather Hawke

    After skydiver Mia Faulin jumps out of a plane, she spots the hunky port-a-potty guy pumping toilets at the landing field so she must apply mascara in free fall and still deploy her parachute in time.

    When a tiny meteor filled with extra terrestrial fleas hits astrobiologist Noah Dea on the noggin, he must jump through hoops to get his SETI research funded or see every doggy day care center in America invaded by a three ring flea circus.

    Heather Hawke
    hawke AT sonic DOT net

  • http://www.jodywallace.com Jody Wallace

    Three little kittens who look so different you can’t even tell they’re related lose their mittens one day. Their mom gets pretty mad and refuses to give them any pie. Also, it turns out the kittens aren’t actually kittens but are stuffed animal puppets being manipulated by aliens doing experiments on cats.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ben.erlichman Ben Erlichman

    A rogue zombie risks his own pseudo-immortality as he endeavors to prove to a group of lifelong NRA members in an abandoned building that all any undead creature really wants is a hug.

  • Rowan Alexander

    Mary O’Connell’s life is twisted into a dark parody of nursery rhyme when she uncovers an ancient tome, authored by the mysterious Mother Goose, that claims her great-grandmother Mary the Contrary was a schizophrenic with a passion for gardening; will Mary’s life follow the same evil path?

  • Stephen J. Hage

    While looking for Shangri La, Jason Booker stumbles into Langri Sha where, instead of everything being good and getting better, everything starts out bad and eventually gets horrible.

  • Rowan Alexander

    When the secret of time-travel is discovered by the chickens of Kealy’s Coop, the brave fowl must risk life and wing to save their comrades from the stewpot and escape to deep Egyptian past, where chickens were revered as reincarnates of the god Poultrius.

  • DMcWild

    Erotic dancer, Samantha L Jackson’s sucked aboard a UFO slithering with alien snakes pulsating on poisoning earth, her promising complimentary entertainment spares humanity, but inside their reptilian replicated champagne room, our damsel in undress discovers, besides no sweaty armpits, snakes lack laps, so grinding, grinds to a halt, leaving the charming of their King Cobra–to a basket case.

  • http://unpoeticstylings.blogspot.com Rachel Staples

    When Jenna McCoy stares in the window of a downtown Manhattan store front for the millionth time, the store mannequins come alive and pull her through the glass into a world of full of vicious vanity, painstaking pretension and never ending narcissism. Jenna will have to find her inner beauty to battle the world of plastic models to fight her way back to reality. Can she come to terms to gain her power or will she find she is at home there?

  • http://www.daveyandmariejank.com Davey

    With the help of friend and foe alike, the Invisible Man embarks upon a tedious and fruitless journey of self-discovery.

  • http://www.faithfulchoices.com Paula

    The bead war started when the rope war ended,because the beads thought the rope should have tried harder.

  • http://www.sjhigbee.com S.J. Higbee

    Sixteen year old Spring Hertle is shocked to discover that she is actually the lovechild of last surviving Roswell alien and beautiful rancher’s daughter Swift Hertle. Will Spring come to terms with her unique body shape, despite the cruel mockery of her classmates? Will she learn to wield the power emitting from her index finger? And what happens when Area 51 is once more visited by an unidentified flying object?

  • http://www.thewritersrepublic.wordpress.com Adrianne Russell

    When bum-wiping British chambermaid Anna Angelsoft is plucked from obscurity to become the newly-crowned Queen’s ladies’ maid she must learn to navigate the steaming palace political scene while avoiding the advances of Nigel Crapper, the Queen’s secret lover and the nation’s leading scatologist.

    Adrianne Russell
    russell.adrianne@gmail.com

  • G. Thibodeau

    Tempted by the “toot” of another, Deputy McTerribleName, a notoriously flatulent cowboy-vampire, is tricked into ingesting extra-strength Beano, only to discover that his supernatural powers are inextricably linked to his tendency to fart; he must choose between an existence of gassy vampirism and a normal life.

  • Jo Lawler

    An illiterate writer courts an illustrious literary agent, who mistakes the writer’s passionate pursuit for stalking and files a restraining order, sending the would-be author into a downward spiral of chocoholism, landing her in an institution for illiterate chocoholics with obsessive compulsive disorders, where doctors discover a revolutionary link between chocolate and brilliant writing.

  • http://www.looksnbeyond.com Ruby Arora

    Stripe is not some dumb shirt that hangs in a closet but is a genius, that gets to sit on Chuck’s shoulders day after day and sends him intelligent ideas in return for his sweat on it’s collar, who then comes up with even better ideas and runs various contests.

  • http://www.looksnbeyond.com Ruby Arora

    If there’s rain, there are droplets and these droplets can make anything and anyone wet to the point that you will need a towel to dry whatever it is that got wet but the question is, what if the rain turns into drops of ketchup?

  • Alice Luitjen

    Heidi Way stepped off the plane at LaGuardia and immediately began to sense that a meth lab heiress from rural Alabama would have to do more to impress New Yorkers than it took in Knoxville, Tennessee.

    Wanda Mae could not for the lfe of her figure out why her cosmetic business, Lipstick On a Pig, was not successful.

  • http://www.MattForrest.com Matt Forrest Esenwine

    When teen divorce attorney Daisy Shackleford stumbles upon a wormhole to another dimension in the 3rd stall of the courthouse restroom, she is forced to confront her 17 other parallel lives -including her adult self, her infant self, her evil-twin self, herself reincarnated as a toadstool, and her anime doppleganger Nuriona – all of whom join together to take Daisy on a whirlwind journey…of self-discovery.

  • DMcWild

    After Dopey surprises Snow White’s unprotected Happy time, Doc tests her positive for Sneezy transmitted disease, thinking the Prince may doubt her charming, and knowing Dopey’s talkative, she seduces Grumpy into threatening Dopey and Happy into remaining Bashful, but when they go missing, Snow considers confessing, worried her Prince is the next target of Grumpy’s big Sleepy.

  • http://www.MattForrest.com Matt Forrest Esenwine

    When teen attorney Daisy Shackleford stumbles upon a wormhole to another dimension in the 3rd stall of the courthouse restroom, she’s forced to confront her 17 other parallel lives -including her adult self, her infant self, her evil-twin self, herself reincarnated as a toadstool, and her anime doppleganger Nuriona – who together take Daisy on a whirlwind journey…of self-discovery.

    (corrects word length!)

  • http://brookefavero.blogspot.com brooke favero

    When aging hipster realizes she is the mother of four kids, she must choose between becoming an Owling master or the PTO Treasurer. There’s only time for one.

  • K. McNeil

    1. When Oscar, a homosexual Hispanic who suffers from Obsessive-compulsive disorder, drops his needle in a haystack, he goes on a journey through the straw to not only find the needle, but to find himself.

  • K. McNeil

    Butt-plug, a transgender hooker who has a phobia of pooping in public, falls in love with the most unsuspecting character: a turd named Sticky. Together, they find what the true meaning of a bowl movement is.

  • http://www.rachellegardener.com Angela Pantony

    An elementary teacher discovers a hidden talent for glow-in-the-dark bowling while out playing with her fellow colleagues and in the coming months as she dominates in Canadian Nationals and the World Cup, she swears she will never desert her students for fame and fortune!

  • Sra Ansted

    Betsy and Maurice, two everyday cows about town, approach the altar to be married, but as they say the words “I Moo”, lightning strikes the church, sending the bovine lovers back to the old west, where they must survive in a world populated by humans, face down wrangling cowboys, and escape from the beef slaughterhouse before it’s too late.

  • Sra Ansted

    ‘To Be or Not To Be a Writing Desk’ brings to light the shocking story of Hamlet’s close friend and tutor, a mysterious hatter, who has more than just a little to do with the young prince’s descent into madness.

  • Alicia Kania

    In a society inhabited by footwear, where stiletto heels are rich divas, running shoes are professional athletes, and dangerous Rollerblade gangs roam the streets, Sunny, a lonely little yellow flip-flop, embarks on the adventure of his lifetime to find his one true sole-mate.

  • Dionne Lister

    Mandy and Ben have a date on Friday night but when the entire American city they live in contracts laryngitis they are forced to cancel by text message.

    If These Walls Could Talk is a drama about the walls in a New York apartment and what they have seen but unfortunately, in the tradition of walls, they remain silent.

  • http://www.litopia.com/users/1004189/blog Marvel Gumshoe

    The Wind in the Pillows:
    The tragic story of a love destroyed by night–time flatulence.

  • http://www.litopia.com/users/1004189/blog Marvel Gumshoe

    No Milk: A bittersweet true-life drama charting Harvey Fawk’s struggle to become the first lactose-intolerant mayor of Chicago.

  • Nicola Forster

    John and Angela Garrett have reached their mid-forties and are tired of their mundane lives and average marriage, being slaves to their third remortgage and their mind-numbing picking jobs in a toilet roll factory, so the sale of their house allows a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Antarctica where they get lost and freeze to death.

  • http://www.litopia.com/users/1004189/blog Marvel Gumshoe

    Burning Passion:
    Can a woman find true love in a crematorium?

  • Liza Miro

    Logline #1
    A neurotic 8yr old chinese pianist, pressurized by her evil grandma to perform a major concerto the next day, accidentally slams her finger off in the door and horrifyingly watches the cat eat it on the other side.

    Logline #2
    Travis Glog goes to jail for raping a goat and one day finds out that the mutated goat baby becomes a superhero who saves Japan by farting back a tsunami.

  • http://www.litopia.com/users/1004189/blog Marvel Gumshoe

    Orphan Andy Twinkle discovers that his parents are alive and they’re millionaires, then that he was mistaken, then that they’re alive and running a brothel in Kansas, then that he was mistaken again and then that he has terminal cancer – with HILARIOUS consequences!

  • http://refiningmoments.tumblr.com Gregory K. Hernandez

    Obsessed with her desire to win the coveted role of Miss Douglas County, Sarah decides to forgo her daily scone on the way to the office, not calculating what this caloric savings would ultimately cost her as her favorite barista begins to miss their daily encounters.

  • M. Ferguson

    While playing ‘Lack-Luck Island’ on the Ultra ForX game console, Ted gets sucked into his television set after unlocking the mysterious level 29 1/2, where he finds best friend Carl had been eating nothing but digital pizza during his two months of captivity by zombie people that have… moose antlers!?

  • http://www.safkhetpublishing.com KimatSafkhet

    Watch Bob, a painter from Oklahoma, watch the paint peel on his old plantation-style farmhouse after his wife left him, his last cow died an unexplained death while his father is on his way to see Bob to take him on a life-long journey that will change both Bob and his father forever.

    • http://www.12monthsofgolfinvail.blogspot.com Jeanne Sutherland

      Yours is my favorite so far!

  • http://jamigold.com Jami Gold

    A normal girl discovers her inner strength after learning of a prophecy declaring her to be special, and now she’s the only one who can get the garbage bag out to the can before the truck arrives.

    contact (at) jamigold (dot) com

  • http://www.swiftscribbler.weebly.com SwiftScribbler

    When IRS lackey and typeface aficionado Larry McLamerson attends the National Accounting Conference he never expects to spot a formatting error in regulation 603.456.34III(b)3–now he must file forms 759B-3, 9883(C) (parts II, X-XVII , and XXVI), and EZ-form 12 by April 15th or someone might notice. NON-COMPLIANT, Thriller, 400k words.

  • Gregg Jansen

    AMERICA’S TOP VAMPIRE
    Vlad’s inability to tan may be the only thing standing between him and winning the newest TV reality show, America’s Top Vampire, although the competition isn’t very stiff and the real problem is not what’s at stake but that Vlad cannot countenance being declared winner as “Vlad the paler.”

    THE DEATHLY DULLOWS
    Boy wizard prodigy Terry Plodder was all set to take the Swine Boil School of Magic by storm, dreaming of daring deeds, staggering banquets, contests of skill and daring, and all the house elves one could abuse with excessively loud music and stinky laundry, but it seems that Terry forgot to mail in his application.

  • Ada Maria Soto

    When Fez, an elven prince/bus driver, discovers his ancestral hill is about to be bulldozed for condos he must turn to his drug dealing ex-bodyguards, a half orc loan shark, and his human traffic cop girlfriend to help stop the demolition.

  • Debbi Sullivan

    The Clowns and the Mimes of City Park World work together to bring joy and squash stereotypes among Park World’s non-painted citizens, but when mime Wee Willie Wiffle witnesses a clown secretly terrifying a ten-year-old, potentially destroying all the City’s hard-won feelings of goodwill, he must make a terrible and personally devastating choice: Should he speak out?

    • http://www.jaredgarrett.com Jared Garrett

      I would read this with great joy.

  • http://www.loristrongin.com Lori Strongin

    In the distant future, only months from now, a reluctant hero, chosen by Fate, must lead a banana-boat full of refugee hedgehogs, Pied Piper style, to safety along the Florida Space Coast, or all will be chiffoned to death by a horde of one-handed seamstresses just itching to get their five fingers on those pin-perfect quills.

  • http://www.jaredgarrett.com Jared Garrett

    1. When Normy Clodston, a designer of plasticware, slams his head into a wall while rushing to inspect the next batch of sporks, he is transported into a world badly in need of the equations needed to calculate the depth of a crater left behind when the evil overlord exploded.

    2. Two ferret friends set out on a harrowing journey to discover why Hollywood has never made a movie featuring their species of vermin, but along the way, they are waylaid by a group of traveling tractor-trailers and flattened on a highway.

    Jared Garrett
    jared (at) jaredgarrett (dot) com

  • http://www.loristrongin.com Lori Strongin

    When Boring, NY is invaded by cat‐eating space monkeys, John discovers that his sweet little persians aren’t ordinary furballs, but super‐intelligent feline ninja assassins who recruit John as the leader of their resistance against the outer space simians, pitting him against a snarky airship pirate who knows how to incapacitate fully grown men with nothing but a banana.

  • http://www.jodysdevotionaljournal.blogspot.com Jody Day

    Chaud Zane Lamour, a superhero cowboy who can control the weather and must save Texas from a perpetual heat wave, races north on his trusty steed Caliente to lasso a cold front, but loses his power every time someone says, “It’s so dang hot!”

  • http://donnasbookpub.blogspot.com Donna Volkenannt

    Amber Amberjay, a greedy and ambitious mother, charges the stage clutching lip gloss and tissues after her conjoined twins — both named Sierra — sneeze simultaneously on a beauty pageant judge during the Sierras’ tap-dance routine; you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll want to call Child Welfare Services, but you can’t stop watching “Snots and Sierras.”

    Donna Volkenannt
    dvolkenannt (at) charter.net

  • Jennie Bozic

    When the pope learns that Jesus has accidentally returned as a fish oil pill due to some confusion over the phrase “fishers of men”, he must lead his flock into every grocery story and pharmacy on the planet in search of the savior in order to prevent a Eucharistic catastrophe.

  • Jennie Bozic

    46-year-old Daphne struggles to overcome her fear of boredom by immersing herself in the mundane: trips to the hardware store, hours of laundry folding, and marathons of “Full House” reruns.

  • Patrice Bourne

    Clarence, a zombie, romances a female brain surgeon with hopes of abundant harvest when he falls hopelessly in love with her younger sister, a cocktail waitress, but is disappointed to discover that she’s a brainless beauty.

    Hugh, a CIA agent, is being investigated by his agency for marrying multiple times, but all of his marriages were to a different persona of the same woman, who has a multiple personality disorder and spies for several countries, depending on who she is that day.

    *I think you should give extra credit for incredibly long run-on sentences too! :)

  • Bill Larsen

    When Matt, a retired font designer, began to spend his remaining years in front of a computer, he realized that MS Comic was the only computer typeface that did not give him a headache and set out on a quest to convince the world that Comic was the only way to to display type on a screen.

  • Amanda McLeod

    Meet Susan: an average housewife who just discovered a magic bubble wand among her daughter’s toys. One untrained flick of the wrist later she finds herself, quite by accident, in the body of Jessica Rabbit and sitting on a tour bus filled with Republican groupies following the 2011 debate circuit. Without the wand.

    Amanda McLeod
    asegreen @ yahoo . com

  • C. Edwin Pearson

    Cliffburt Noggswaddle founds “Bad Taste Games, Inc.” with their opening title “Concentration Camp Commandant,” in which the object of the game is, well, never mind, but when it becomes a hit in Israel, Palestinians retaliate with a musical competition featuring send-ups of Hava Nagila.

  • Douglas L.Thompson

    “A computer virus named Stanley, shunned and misunderstood by his peers, embarks upon an epic internet adventure in search of fulfilling his life long dream to regulate the irrigation control valves on a private golf course in the wine country”

    “During an early morning stop-drop-and-roll drill in Modesto California, in January 1965 a recently diagnosed epileptic gerbil named Harold Fuzzbeck flees his small cage in Mrs. Langer’s fifth grade class, to be discovered some three hours later flattened in the school parking lot.”

  • Jen Grover

    Lucifera, the vuluptuous, naked silver pendant of rock star Teffy Combs, bathes in the lights, and his sweat, every night of his sold-out tour, but by tour’s end her tarnished thighs reveal that she might not be sterling after all, but plated!

  • Jackie M Reuter

    “In Micheal Allen’s memoir, he tells the story of how he learned to play the kazoo after meeting a mysterious dwarf who sold him an elixir that made him attractive to every species but dolphins and beluga whales.”

    “After Thomas Dowell answers a phone call from his mother, he narrowly misses being involved in an undercover spy mission investigating a plot of world domination being plotted by a pack of renegade goldfish.”

  • Rebecca Greene

    The dwindling number of rescue animals at the pet store’s Sunday adopt-a-thons combined with a rash of disappearing plastic bags worries the grocer’s night manager, who suspects something sinister with the neighboring oriental restaurant’s Monday specials after she and her health inspector boyfriend find a stack of grocery bags covered with pet hair and reddish-brown goo beside the restaurant’s dumpster.

  • http://iyasostuff.wordpress.com Osayi

    An African princess discovers that she is a long lost relative of Hitler and in her shame and despair is determined to find the families of those he hurt , to beg forgiveness and find redemption, and in the process she finds herself and finds true love in the most unexpected of places – Alaska.

  • http://iyasostuff.wordpress.com Osayi

    A “far-from-gruntled” and very “un-unified” high school soccer team from Africa go on a mission trip to the jungles of Beverly Hills to teach the people there about love, hope and truth, and finally find unity in their fight for the legalization of drugs, and other relative truths.

  • http://lafreeland.wordpress.com/ Lori Freeland

    Maddy, a self-proclaimed Band-Aid addict, must overcome her dependence on latex and Neosporin, in order to save the children of the Amazon who are suffering from an epidemic of Banana leaf paper cuts and an outbreak of Piranha maulings.

  • http://allaroundrecords.blogspot.com/ Andrea Weiss

    Quent Forack, leader of the band Chase the Ball, becomes an indie rock outcast when he is caught listening to Lady Gaga records. His journey to redemption includes the tiny indie label Crash, Dixie Trick, his new girlfriend, and her cat Wallop, who howls when she hears a good song.

  • Jen Grover

    Haskel Jones is happy with his job as night watchman at the Claws and Effects nail polish factory, until the rainy pre-dawn he is overcome by acetone fumes, and wakes in a puddle to discover that not only does he now sport a petal pink pedicure, but someone has made off with ten cases of mauve micro-glitter.

  • http://tcavey.blogspot.com/ TC Avey

    1)Freddy, the amazing fart fetching dog escapes the circus to help Blinky the blind bat fertilize atomic petunias before the aliens try to overtake the dim-witted human population.

    2) Tim accidentally sniffed the leprechaun dust, now he must find the magical peanut whistle before the fire breathing ogre eats the last Popsicle or he will remain a hairless dwarf forever.

    TC Avey
    email: tnc.avey@gmail.com

  • CGWorrell

    To prevent an Indie writer from posting a compromising video of her illicit affair with Vordak the Incomprehensible, literary agent Janet Reid shapeshifts into a python, swims the sewer system, pops from the toilet as a great white shark, chomps the blackmailer’s ass, prepares to shred his manuscript only to discover the complete 4th installation of Stieg Larsson’s Millennium series.

  • http://william-dallas-brooks.blogspot.com William Dallas Brooks

    Leo Crantz is a failure: failed author, failed husband, failed son, failed father. His wife is having an affair with his best friend, his children despise the very air he breathes, even his own mother can’t stand the sight of him. Until enigmatic and dangerous Lorna enters his life and Leo pretends to be his heroic pulp hero alter ego, Locke Steel. Now the mob wants him dead, crooked cops breathing down his neck, a deadly serial killer has his number, and Lorna’s escaped convict boyfriend is convinced he’s Lorna’s lover.

  • Steve Bradley

    Children’s pop-up book:
    1. A story of a small “animal person:” Small plankton gets stuck in pocket of Jonah’s tunic after the giant fish swallows him; it is vomited out with Jonah on the shore near Nineveh, and goes with him to Nineveh, and gradually dries out and dies.
    Set in the old West:
    A romance. Two men meet, and fight over the same saloon-girl. One man is killed by the other, escapes with the girl, and they live for several years on the run. They successfully rob a bank, and then kill each other. The money is recovered by the townspeople, who leave them for the buzzards, and go into town, only to find that other outlaws have burned their town to the ground.
    (We are talking BAD storylines here.)
    With apologies to Spongebob and Clint Eastwood or John Wayne, either one.

  • Steve Bradley

    I don’t see how I can possibly win. The rest of these are awful.
    Darn.

  • http://www.12monthsofgolfinvail.blogspot.com Jeanne Sutherland

    A 15 year old girl, Darlena, who grew up in the town of Kentuckia, Arkansas, finds she is a golf savant and challenges fellow Arkansas native John Daly to a match, which she wins, catapulting her to stardom, which she capitalizes on by winning on multiple tours and becoming a celebrity despite her age or grasp of the English language.

  • http://abigail-matthews.blogspot.com/ Abigail Matthews

    In this documentary-style film, an inspiring Jordanian rapper with acute halitosis seeks to reverse global climate change by embarking on a world tour singing to unhappy house plants.

  • http://flavors.me/anonvo anonvo

    1. Must read semi-not-based-on-reality-true story of the prison and rehab love affair between Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.

    2. Sassy, a vegan, is an early 20’s L.A. ghetto vampire zombie who is selected for a reality television show where contestants live in the same beach house having their lives, their escapades, their debauchery, their conflict, and their human cravings taped.

  • http://abigail-matthews.blogspot.com/ Abigail Matthews

    The ill-fated romance between Heisenburg, a lowly electron in a particle accelerator, and the attractive, unstable Aunty-Matter, whose brief, but epic, bond results in mutually assured destruction.

  • http://www.noveldoctor.com Noveldoctor

    After sending out 37 queries for his first novel, “Shut Up or Die,” an action-packed thriller based on his favorite film, “My Dinner With Andre,” Reginald Underwood waits by the mailbox.

  • Sheena

    After his prized collection of pig-shaped bobblehead dolls is stolen and used as calling cards in gristly murders, a young British man must prove his innocence and find the true Nodding-ham killer.

    • Sheena K. Fallon

      Oops! Was on comment-field autopilot. Apologies. Full name for above.

  • Cyntha Ivers

    It’s déjà vu all over again for renowned French chef Austin Justice (aka Au Jus) when another one his star sommeliers is found macerated in a simmering vat of confit and he must emulse himself in a wild goose chase to catch a killer from the shores of Bisque-Cane-Bay to the crepey alleys of the Roux Morgue.

  • Ginger Chiveral

    1. A carpet installer decides to kick start the unraveled seams of his life as he searches his pad for meaning.

    2. A crazed psychic escapes an asylum as the police search for a small medium at large.

  • Alice Pawlowich

    Security man tires of watching motionless camera monitors and decides to chase a bag blowing around the parking lot in the wind.

    • http://lind-guistics.blogspot.com/ Linda Hofke

      nicely done, Alice

  • Alice Pawlowich

    Some guy from this town, you would never remember the name off, tells all in his new book… What Shoe Size Says About A Person. In it you will discover the difference between a size 7 and a size 8, find out how cracked heels can ruin your life; plus a full chapter on yellow toe nails and what to do about it.

  • Linda Connelly

    The Royal Jewels have been stolen by Rasputin who will unlock their power in order to take over the world once and for all. It’s up to Queen Elizabeth the 20th to travel back in time, gather all twenty Elizabeth’s in order to do battle deep in the Earth’s Core.

  • Cyntha Ivers

    Lonely housewife Jackie Squat spends her days flushing the toilet looking for her imaginary lover, Liquid Plumr, until one day she accidentally flushes herself and discovers a new world full of shiny pennies, vintage cell phones and baby alligators.

  • http://www.cannibalisticnerd.com Carrie Williford

    1. A flea, “Sip”, (short for Siphonaptera), who has always felt “different” because of his love of books and science, becomes unlikely friends with his host, Gigi, a dog he’s feeding off of and reading on. Together, they help Sip realize his dream of getting a Bachelor’s Degree in English. (Title – The Educated Flea)

    2. The entire nation has mysteriously stopped experiencing Winter, Summer, and Spring. It’s up to scientist Harold Sworde to figure out why. (Title – Fall on the Sworde)

  • http://katelarkindale.blogspot.com/ Kate Larkindale

    When she catches her husband in bed with her best friend, Dorothy wasn’t expecting her kitchen appliances to help wreck her revenge. But now she has more than just a regular mess to clean up, and her in-laws are coming for Sunday dinner. Can she rely on her new electric friends for help with this too?

  • http://unbaggingthecats.blogspot.com/ KS Cureton

    When beleaguered night-school instructor Mutt Jefferson jolts awake to find his dimwitted class of adult GED underachievers (“The Idiots” to his fellow faculty) mysteriously miniaturized, bobbing helplessly in the puddle of drool on his desk, he inadvertently gasps, swallowing his entire roster, which precipitates a panicked call to his reformed-stripper fiancé: “Bunny, I drunk the Ids!”

    KS Cureton
    cureton2(at)gmail(dot)com

  • http://www.fallingdowntherabbithole.com Heidi Britz

    1.When the Brothers Grimm meet the Brothers Lehman, terror takes the form of Hogzilla, an eleven hundred pound wild boar, as he tramples Wall Street, taking financial analysts and the Dow Jones on a wild ride in this political alle-gory of blood and chaos that will have you crying “why, why, why?“, all the way home.

    2. When Svetlana Chiller finally realizes that she cannot find the exotic, forbidden love she craves from the vampire, the werewolf or the zombie, as they have been completely changed into mundane creatures of the everyday by incredible overexposure, she plans to end her own life, but is stopped by the smoldering love child of a leprechaun and a unicorn.

    heidibritz@att.net

  • Martin Dugas

    After being fired as busboy of a small town’s family diner, an eccentric young man aspiring to conquer the world and become an internationally acclaimed Chef buys a kitchen trailer, parks it next to a truck stop along the state’s busiest highway and attempts to sell his masterpiece meal: a tasty strawberry-flavoured hamburger with raisin bread buns.

  • Clare Scott

    A fragile snail – his life but an empty shell and rapidly spiralling downwards – embarks on a slow dangerous journey, which takes him through areas of sludge, slime and disgusting squalour, as he attempts to find and share his inner self with Big Foot along the pathway of discovery.

  • Elizabeth Kitchens

    Sherrie always wanted to be magically transported into a story book, but things don’t turn out quite the way she hoped when she is sucked into a decorative book box and has to write her way out using only the words on her grandmother’s bottle of medicinal brandy inconspicuously stored in the book.

    At the advice of a sea cucumber, lonely starfish Alpha decides to travel to the Night Sky to ask the Man-in-the-Moon out on a date; on the journey she learns about friendship and trust as she thumbs rides from a one-winged butterfly, a barnacle named “Nascar”, and a flying cow.

    • Jen Grover

      Actually, those both sound pretty interesting!

  • http://blogforeternity.blogspot.com Coleene VanTilburg

    “Wanting desperately to change his image as a spiritual loner, Pedro the Praying Mantis buys a Harley and joins the notorious Rhinoceros Beetle Biker Club, only to meet his potential soul mate Mary Mantis, missionary extraordinaire to hard-shelled, six-legged thugs.”

  • http://stealingfaith.com JJ Veale

    A potholder named Jimmy considers suicide via oven combustion but is redeemed when a kitchen spoon named Petunia professes her love.

    A coming-of-age story about a belligerent boy orphaned on a Martian colonial mission. His mentor relationship with an alien scuba diving instructor ushers him into a new appreciation of butter.

  • R. Jasmin Rueda

    1. After stumbling into a mysterious, time-traveling port-a-potty during his beach vacation, Dr. Y discovers his true calling as a beach-combing time traveler, but one pressing question remains: Will he be able to keep the disguised time machine upright in his rocky travels through time?

    2. A universally-renowned ninja warrior assassin hired to kill alien warlords inadvertently destroys the Milky Way in a botched assassination attempt, triggering an intergalactic war and making himself the target of relentless armies of 20-ton squids, gun-slinging cowboys, zombies and radioactive space slugs, leaving him only 15 minutes to save the universe from total collapse.

  • http://www.flickr.com/people/crystalwriter/ Crystal A Murray

    1. Read the heartwrenching story of triumph that is the life of Billy Blob, a gifted man who found out as a young boy that he could transform himself into a peanut, and for whom all went well until someone ran over him with a steamroller and forced him to live the rest of his life as peanut butter.

    2. When an alunimum chimley cleaner finds a monkster hiding in the flue of a goverment farplace, he must resort to an old Vietmanese nuculer device to drive it out and prevent the invasion of alot of misspellers, misspeakers, and good-grammar-phobes that would naturally have followed.

  • http://www.KimberlyFDR.com Kimberly Lynn Workman

    1. In a world where humans see magical beings as second-class citizens, it’s up to one half-elf / half-fairy to save the very beings she’s been taught to hate, but before she can do that she has to fight a rabid dog, find the Tea Kettle of Ravenfield, and avoid falling in love with the troll who’s her family’s sworn enemy.

    2. Men weren’t supposed to get pregnant, but now Ralph is, and he’s afraid he’ll have to go through the whole ordeal by himself and be a single father/mother/whatever, but when a magical unicorn promises to change all that, Ralph realizes he can get the father/mother/whatever of his unborn child to fall in love with him through the magic of song.

    Kimberly Lynn Workman / kimberlyFDR@yahoo.com

  • Daniel Trosper

    “If the Thigh Offend Thee”, ‘Grease’, a rogue fried chicken operative, attempting to recreate KFC’s secret recipe, instead uncovers the secret to hyperspace warp jumps, and goes undercover as fry cooks around the globe are kidnapped by international powers intent on being the first to develop interstellar space travel, or least create better tasting happy meals.

  • Daniel Trosper

    “Apocalypse,Then”, chronicles the horror of the 2000-year Alsamic-Bullamian” War, based on each side’s claimed superiority at tic-tac-toe, decided after 1,999 ties, when the Bullamian representative thought it clever to put the ‘O’ to the side instead of the center, leading to a Bullamian loss and the most infamous five words in the nation’s history, “You win, what’s for lunch?” ,

  • A.T. Schultz

    ZOMPYRE ASSASSIN

    An unstoppable zombie-vampire assassin, who kills his victims by sucking their
    blood then eating their brains, meets his match when he is hired by the Devil to kill Medusa, but falls in love with her instead.

  • http://babsinparadise.blogspot.com Barbara Jean Byrem

    When Samantha, a beautiful but clumsy young woman, flees clown college and the family profession to be with her beloved Everett the juggler, she and Everett become embroiled in a plot of International Espionage when Everett’s balls are tampered with and they must work against the clock to save the world.

    Barbara Jean Byrem
    rbbyrem@aol.com

  • http://www.myspace.com/skigelman Sam K

    Preview of If I Were A Tree by Lasanowski, A.K.:
    “If I were a tree enables nature lovers to imagine life as a tree. As you read you may realize the significance that a tree contributes to the environment. You may just be inspired to promote others to take action and share your love for nature.”
    Though the author put a lot of thought into this, I thought it’s funny that she’s telling the reader what they will “realize” when reading her book, when the main reason for me to read a book is to find my own interpretations and such. Also, the whole concept is hillarious :D.

  • Amanda Blair

    The Letcher County Jail will never be the same when The Eastern Kentucky Retired Gardening Club decides to walk through the woods and find a native plant to make their pet project but goes awry when they mistake Marijuana for another plant called Cleome.

  • Helen Vivienne Fletcher

    Twilight meets Chicken Boo: a young girl’s relationship takes a confusing turn when she finds her new boyfriend’s skin is feathery to the touch, his head is constantly bobbing back and forth, and he has a compulsive need to find things to eat on the ground – is it possible he is in fact… a giant pigeon in disguise?

  • http://blog.byangelaperry.com Angela Perry

    Passionate love ignites when Isabella Fox, who harbors a weakness for bad boys, meets the perfect man in Spike Malone–a ninth degree blackbelt ex-Navy SEAL turned motorcycle gang leader–until she discovers his secret collection of Bratz dolls.

    byangelaperry@gmail.com

  • Alicia Kania

    When a routine dentist appointment reveals that Emma has Geographic Tongue, she takes it as a sign and begins regularly interpreting the shape-shifting “map” of her tongue, believing it is showing her where to travel, and starts to wonder just how far her tongue will take her.

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  • Maine Character

    A half-blind lobsterman discovers the sole survivor of a UFO crash clinging to a trap and promptly measures its skull, bands its hands, and takes it home for dinner, but his psychic dog Bucktooth senses the alien diplomat’s telepathic messages and delivers it, by fault of translation, not to the King of Holland, but the King of Horror.

    S. Cornwell, mainecharacter@gmail.com

  • Andrea Deegan-Smith

    After being ostracized by friends and family for his love of My Little Pony, 42 year old alcoholic karaoke DJ and “Brony” Phil Lush is doing well in AA, but discovers it will take more than 12 steps to keep him “off the horse”.

  • http://lind-guistics.blogspot.com/ Linda Hofke

    A group of writers drive their editors to the edge of insanity when they ban together, refusing to use the Oxford comma in a series of items with a single conjunction even when its omission creates ambiguity.

    • Bill Larsen

      I must say that the Oxford comma is much better than my submission. The story line could include how to string a thousand words together in a sentence with the use of the semi-colon.

      • http://lind-guistics.blogspot.com/ Linda Hofke

        haha…maybe that could be a contest in itself. Who can write the longest run-on sentence using a list of given words. That would be fun :-)

        And, by the way,I liked yours. It is a bit more realistic than mine. I know some people who really do fuss about it being difficult to read certain fonts. Good luck!

  • http://lind-guistics.blogspot.com/ Linda Hofke

    A man who, as a child, was hit in the eye with a cork gun must conquer his fear of corks in order to pursue his dream career as a sommelier.

  • http://plainfancy.blogspot.com/ S. Wiersma

    1.) After Sam returns from an excruciatingly long and painful barefoot-jogging road trip, Sam’s mother-in-law, Susie, decides to spend some quality time with her son-in-law by taking him on a tandem-biking road trip from New York to Oregon, with only a picnic basket packed with wine and cheese, an MP3 player full of ’80s hits, and Susie’s endlessly yapping Yorkshire Terrier.

    2.) When Andy’s wife leaves him for a French toothpick maker, Andy sinks his teeth into his once-neglected library of dental hygiene and discovers thousand-year-old secrets of foreign dental prestige, teaching Andy that his smile has the power to change his life and the world.

    nitpicking101 {at} gmail {dot} com

  • Caroline Praed

    1) Our hero, Prince Bradley, must find a bride from a very unlikely selection of women put forward by the valet he scorned. The father of Viridia sets him a near-impossible quest – which he must complete within 48 hours, dressed as a giant yellow rubber duck…

    2) Fleeing from a dying planet, new cadet Vince [Tom Cruise] must pilot a recalcitrant space ‘Ark’, powered by cow dung and his own urine, while saving a variety of copulating pairs of creatures – including a pair of leeches, Lucas and Lilith [voiced by Tom Hanks and Helen Mirren], attached to his right forearm.

  • http://www.follyblaine.com Christy Johnson

    When promising high school gymnast and potential homecoming king, Rick, sprains his face in a tragic cartwheeling accident, he tumbles into an international conspiracy involving cybernetic athletes at the physical therapy office, and must defend the honor of his sport while somehow finding a date for the dance, all in time to qualify for the Olympics.

  • http://www.follyblaine.com Christy Johnson

    Morley, a heavily freckled man and expert bowler, wakes from a coma in a future world full of future science where freckles are harvested as a clean burning fuel, and joins forces with an underground team of lady waxers to reverse the dermatological discrimination.

    (Second entry)

  • Madison Morris

    When Emma, a curvy but attractive zombie, moves to Paris to learn how to cook brains and forget about her exboyfriend werewolf who ran away with her beloved but mischievous dog Marlee, she is forced to choose between following her dream of cooking w Chef Lou Botomy and saving the world from an army of teen angst fueled fairies.

  • Madison Morris

    A English Lit professor discovers a secret code to investing and uses his newly acquired knowledge to seek revenge on his high school nemesis Warren Buffet.
    (second entry)

  • http://www.tnealtarver.wordpress.com TNeal

    While swimming in primordial ooze, Herman, single-celled and looking, hears a big bang and splits in his pants, a cataclysmic event that sends him following in the murderous wake of Yin, his recently-formed alter ego.

  • http://thekingdomtrilogy.wordpress.com Sean McGuire

    A band of underwear models decided one day to go skinny-dipping in the North Pole. But when a random piece of space goo lands in their discarded coverings, bounces in the air, mutates, and lands in the mouth of a rabid polar bear… feeding time begins.

    • http://thekingdomtrilogy.wordpress.com Sean McGuire

      Oops. That was two sentences. Ignore that.

      “A band of underwear models decide one day to go skinny-dipping in the North Pole; when a random piece of space goo lands in the mouth of a penguin and mutates it… feeding time begins.”

  • http://www.margueriteashton.com Marguerite Ashton

    A husband and wife, ice fishing in the northern Minnesota lake, hook on to a satchel marked “Top Secret,” realizing that it contains information on an underwater hit scheduled for Charlie the Catfish, they need to deliver it safely to the FBI before Don Carlo the Jellyfish tracks them down in the worst blizzard ever to hit the state.

  • Merry Schilling

    When Hepsiba, a kind but klutzy witch, accidentally gulps her own love potion falling irrevocably in love with Herkimer, the evil but dashing sorcerer, who is trying to take over the world, she and her three-legged toad with digestive problems must save mankind through her misfired spells and besotted hilarity.

  • http://rickbarry.blogspot.com/ Rick Barry

    A scientist who is a colorful character turns green with envy after his yellow-bellied assistant sells a rare black-and-white photo of a troop of Brownies chasing the bluebird of happiness for a huge amount of gold and silver in order to buy a chain of tanning studios in Redding, California.

  • http://tossingitout.blogspot.com Arlee Bird

    Okay, I’m in:

    1) Disparate collection of clowns enter cross country race in dilapidated clown car.

    2) Laid off philosophy professors form an existential gang of bank robbers who debate Keynesian economics.

    Arlee Bird (pseudonym)
    Robert Lee Jackson (real name)

    jacksonlee51 at aol dot com

    • http://lind-guistics.blogspot.com/ Linda Hofke

      Yeah! You read my blog note and decided to join in–that’s great! And these are both very good.

      Good luck!

  • Rachael

    After years of self-imposed social isolation because of her horrific smelling farts, Jenna decides she will not punish herself for what she can’t control anymore and decides to take a 6 month submarine journey around the world looking for love.

  • Dave Mundt

    Ned watched in horror as his alien friend Nazook from Neptune, startled into panic by the animatronic figure in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride; attacked the pirate with unbridled shock and awe that unfolded a delightful wreaking of mayhem akin to Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (Ned likened himself to Sundance) across amusement parks around the globe.

    They had been friends since preschool and conquered challenge after challenge but now they faced their biggest obstacle ever on the eve of Lollapalooza when Tamsin lost her voice and Dave was forced to take over as lead singer, because he had never sung outside of the shower before and broke out in a rash from stage fright.

  • Trish Mishler

    WHEN FISH ATTACK! Diabolical mad scientist, Damon Milner, creates a sinister potion, spills it into his fish bowl which transforms his fish into hellish killer fish – It isn’t long before the fish learn how to make the same potion and dump it into the ocean & gather all the fish to their cause of taking over the world!

    GOATS IN A BOAT! The exciting sequel to WHEN FISH ATTACK! Mankind is now on the run from killer fish, three farmers from Iowa escape at sea with their beloved pet goats Molly & Manny when the goats are subjected to nuclear fallout – things turn ugly as Molly starts chewing on all the liferafts!

  • http://www.Bonniefiedbybonnie.blogspot.com Bonnie Mae Evans

    Vladamir the vampire faints at the sight of blood and is the embarrassment of his family,so armed with smelling salts he takes a job on the night shift at a nearby hospital blood bank to try and overcome his handicap.

  • http://www.isaiahcreates.com Isaiah Campbell

    Matt Nerzowicz, aka Sloth Man, has never backed away from a dare, but when his twin sister/arch enemy dares him to watch 4,398 coats of paint dry on a mud hut, it takes all his Sloth powers to maintain focus on the vinyl finish and ignore the peals of bank alarms as she pillages the village he likes to call home.

  • Joanne Huspek

    Mine will never win in a field this loaded with talent, but here goes:

    After a chance meeting with a war-hardened bitter Iraq War amputee (both arms, both legs) named Urskin Boyles, Matt Harper – one time party boy and ne’er-do-well, decides to enter himself in a cross-country crawling contest for Runner Magazine, only to discover he will have to carry Urskin on his back for the entire race.

  • http://www.onebreaththenanother.com Amanda Miller

    When a baby is born with a physical deformity involving a horn protruding from its anus, it is discovered the mother has been cheating on her husband with an inside out unicorn and the husband starts a revolution a la Les Miserables against the encroaching inside out mythical world.

    In this dystopian allegory, a detached penis attempts to get a job in the bleak U.S. economy and contemplates life without a body.

  • http://www.scotthoney.com Scott Honey

    Carl is an unwilling time traveling butcher who finally finds happiness working on a ‘Human Farm’ in a reality where cannibalism is the norm, but only until a militant revolutionary human rights group wages a new war in the future world.

  • Teresa Meherg

    This was too much fun not to enter:

    While cleaning out her dead ex-husband’s fridge, Carol Butterinsky discovers a fungus-filled Tupperware bowl that she later learns holds the seed of the ‘missing link’ and sets on a course of dish crashing every church social within a 100 miles to find the owner and the missing lid.

    During the long trek home on Christmas Eve, Santa falls asleep at the helm while dreaming of a world with no children and is abducted by alien bunny women, where he’s held captive as a sex slave on the planet of Chilly WaterWorld until Mrs. Claus shows up and trades him for all the elves.

  • Laura Arroyo

    On a trip to her home state of Alaska, Sarah Palin meets a lost hitchhiker/gypsy and learns the secret to winning over the hearts of America’s elderly population.

  • Sandy Lewis

    2 guys stopping to get a donut saw a clown at the cash register, and unknown to them, the clown and his mother had just robbed and tied up the cashier and head donut maker, who were actually the brother and sister of the President (who was stopping by later tonight)!

  • Cheryl

    Okay–call me clueless. The email I received today is dated 5th Oct. Competition closes 3rd Oct. Yet people are still entering! What gives?

  • Dave Nicholson

    Popeye, an unemployed barnacle scraper, wins a spinach eating contest but during the awards ceremony passes huge amounts of gas killing dozens of spectators, and overcome by guilt, is soon running for his life pursued by mysterious black-suited government types intent on making him the next weapon of mass destruction.

  • rpruitt

    Down on his luck wannabe writer searches the internet and finds promo/contest for “worst storyline’ – so, thinking this is an opportunity to trick the famous agent judging toe contest into recognizing his genius – he sends his best storyline, and wins.

  • Chuck Willstone

    Two best friends share an apartment and their girlfriends pressure them to move out and in with them, so they decide to get gay married despite them and keep the apartment and find new girlfriends that appreciate their lavish new lifestyle as a married couple.

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