Query Critique: Franklin’s Ladder

The QueryFRANKLIN’S LADDER is supernatural fiction, complete at 82,000 words. It is the women’s fiction version of a Mike Dellosso or a Brian Keene novel. I am querying you because of your desire for well-written women’s fiction that incorporates a Christian world view. Husbands are troublesome creatures, especially when they’re dead. Anna’s husband, a journalist of crypto zoology, was troublesome from the moment she met him at her neighborhood pub on the Oregon coast—before she experienced the dark presence that pursued him, and before she lost him to a heart attack. No other woman would put up with him: run from his dragons, climb his mysterious white ladder, or lose nineteen years of life for him. And no woman but Anna would risk her own life, as well as her son’s, to...
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Query Critique: Carey On

The Query:Katie Carey’s husband has a mistress and her name is heroin. From the moment she met British guitar god Jay Carey, Katie lived a fantasy life. They were one of the superstar rock and roll couples of London in the 1970s with the big houses, the cars, phenomenal success and a love that seemed to tilt the world on its axis. But when Jay turned to drugs to escape the stress of living life in a fishbowl, their perfect world began to crumble and their marriage disintegrated. After a year of trying to put her life back together without Jay, Katie is thrown into confusion when he shows up on her doorstep clean and sober, and ready to start over with her. She still loves him and wants him back, but can she trust him not to destroy her heart again? My first novel, Carey On, is...
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Query Critique: Halfway to Anywhere

The query: After three days of lying in bed with her life crumbling around her, college freshman Stephanie Miller needs to get out of her room before she goes insane. She decides to go to the One Force House; a guy she’d met recently had told her she could come there if she ever needed a “little rest.” She doesn’t expect to get roped into attending a One Force Study Session, and she doesn’t expect it change her life. But that’s exactly what happens. Dr. Colby, the group’s leader, seems to understand her as no one ever has. In the following weeks, as Stephanie attends trainings and gains the wisdom of his teachings, she can feel her old values drop away like garbage. It’s exhilarating to liberate herself from her own selfishness. But to continue her work with the...
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Query Critique: Dealers of Light

The Query Dear Ms. Gardner: Moira is a nurse practitioner with a hidden talent, one she knows little about- the ability to send healing energy she calls “Light” into others to augment healing. When one of her patients dies in her arms passing along not only a powerful gift, but a dire warning of doom, Moira discovers that cast into the darkness of society are people who thrive on “taking” the Light and torturing their victims. When unexplained deaths linked to these Takers begin to escalate and one of her patients is targeted, Moira is drawn into the conflict and discovers the Takers have plans more sinister than murder. They plan to spread their evil and enslave the entire east coast using the catalyst of a dangerous, primordial artifact. An attack on Moira is thwarted by...
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Query Critique: Circle of Reasoning

The Query: Hello, Ms. Gardner, I am seeking representation for A Circle of Reasoning, a 77,000 word women’s mainstream novel. Catrine Teddi and Austin Sanchez have been separated for over four years because of a misunderstanding. They are reunited by the disappearance of their child because of someone’s mistake. Between the anger and blame, romance is rekindled between the estranged parents of the child as they suffer through his disappearance. Through a series of errors in the overcrowded confusion of his classroom, three year old Brhin-Kristoffer Teddi is forced by his pre-school teacher to leave with an unknown woman. A Circle of Reasoning is a novel that delves into the depths of the emotions and thoughts of the parents and the child; it also exposes the motives of the abductor,...
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Query Critique: Iron Makeover

(This is the first of the query critiques I’ll be doing over the next few weeks, probably one or two a week. Look for them on Wednesdays and sometimes Thursdays. Please bear in mind that these will be longer than my typical posts. ) The Query: Hi there! I’m seeking representation for my 60,000-word non-fiction manuscript IronMakeover: As an Overweight Mom I Battled Fear, the Clock, and Expectations to Become an Ironman Triathlete… Come Along for the Ride. When a woman finishes her first triathlon (swim+bike+run) it changes her worldview. It changes her perception of what’s possible. She’ll be a stronger, wiser, happier woman, mother, sister, daughter, friend and employee. Training for a triathlon of any distance (sprint to Ironman) helps reshape a woman’s body, family and...
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