How Many Agents Does It Take…

How Many Agents Does It Take… …to screw in a lightbulb? Give me the best answer… or simply tell me the best joke… and you’ll win a critique of your query or your first 10 pages, courtesy of moi. Go ahead, make me laugh. *Contest closes Saturday night, 11:59 pm Eastern time. I’ll choose a winner and announce it next week. Standard restrictions apply, i.e. play nice, please. Have a good weekend!    
[ Read More → ]

Friday Fun

Friday Fun I’m off to teach at a writers’ conference, so I thought I’d leave you with some inspiration for the weekend. If this whole “getting published” thing doesn’t work out, you could always get a job writing instructions on the packages of commonly used products. Just think, you could be responsible for gems like this! On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (But… that’s the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions: Put on fork and eat. (No. Really?) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special.) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.(And that would be how?) On some Swann frozen dinners:Serving suggestion:...
[ Read More → ]

Friday Fun: Agents & Writers

Friday Fun: Agents & Writers Next to the defeated politician, the writer is the most vocal and inventive griper on earth. He sees hardship and unfairness wherever he looks. His agent doesn’t love him (enough). The blank sheet of paper is an enemy. The publisher is a cheapskate. The critic is a philistine. The public doesn’t understand him. His wife doesn’t understand him. The bartender doesn’t understand him. ~PETER MAYLE Now, before you get too mad at me… My advice on dealing with publishers: Let your agent do it. Agents are more important than publishers. Agents are more important than anyone. Which brings me to my advice on dealing with agents. You can’t. They won’t speak to you. They’re too important. ~P.J. O’ROURKE Your turn — give us your best shot.→ Writers are…→...
[ Read More → ]

A Little Fun for the Holiday

1. A day without sunshine is like night. 2. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 3. Forty-seven percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 4. Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5. Remember, half the people you know are below average. 6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap. 9. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture most people have. 10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. 12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. 13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand. 14. Okay, so what’s the speed...
[ Read More → ]

Colorado Humor for a Friday

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_5cLmD8GqnKY/SukGewWpEOI/AAAAAAAADNE/uAS21zvudbk/s320/Winter+08+005.JPG Most of you know that I live and work in beautiful Colorado. In honor of our state’s early slide into winter this week (big snowstorm), I thought I’d share some Rocky Mountain humor with you. Enjoy! First, a winter statistic: 98% of Americans say “oh sh*t” before going off an icy road into a ditch. The other 2% are from Colorado and say, “Hang on and watch this.” You know you’re from Colorado if… → You’ll wear flip flops every day of the year, regardless of temperature. → “Humid” is over 25%. → Your sense of direction is: “Toward the mountains” and “Away from the mountains.” → You say “the interstate” and everybody knows which one. → You think May is a totally normal month for a...
[ Read More → ]

Let’s Lighten Things Up!

A writer died and was given the option of going to heaven or hell. She decided to check out each place first. As the writer descended into the fiery pits, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes. “Oh my,” said the writer. “Let me see heaven now.” A few moments later, as she ascended into heaven, she saw rows of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes.”Wait a minute,” said the writer. “This is just as bad as hell!” “Oh no, it’s not,” replied an unseen voice. “Here, your work gets published.” ***There was once a young man who, in his...
[ Read More → ]

line
Site by Author Media © Rachelle Gardner.