Does Social Media Leave Us Over-Exposed?

home title Posted on Jul 10th, 2012 | 149 comments home title

Lately I’ve had several conversations with people who joke about their perfect yet largely fictitious Facebook personas. It seems to me that many of us are expending valuable energy creating whole lives and personalities for ourselves online—not that we’re making things up, per se, but that we carefully craft exactly what we want to put out there, and exactly what we prefer to keep private. I’m beginning to wonder what this might be costing us in terms of both time and mental energy.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that our social media presence can be used against us. I’ve heard about readers criticizing authors for spending too much time on Twitter when they’re supposed to be writing that long-awaited next book. Authors criticize agents for writing too many blog posts and tweets rather than responding to their queries. An editor may post about taking a vacation, but heaven forbid somebody out there is waiting for an answer from that editor—how DARE they take a vacation when they owe me something?

No matter how carefully we manage our social media presence, we can run into problems because of it. There’s a downside to being so “transparent” online, as misleading as that apparent “transparency” is.

What do you think? Have you experienced this from either side? Have you responded negatively to someone’s Twitter post because you don’t think that person is spending their time doing what YOU think they should do? Have you had someone criticize you because of something you said on social media?

Are we all just too available and open for criticism here?

Be Sociable, Share!
Tags:
  • http://www.1600words.com Amy Armstrong

    Social media is fine as long as we remember that it is media—as in you’re getting the word out. The major downside is all of it is web based and focused on short messages, so it’s easy to type/text/record and send without thinking. It also puts immature outbursts out in front of a large audience very quickly.

    The way I see it, social media is new, and it will take a while before everyone is savvy in the “etiquette” that goes with it. I don’t think Emily Post would ever get caught with a cell phone in a fancy restaurant or at any other public event. Maybe there is something to be said for being old fashioned once in a while.

    • http://creativitylifecoaching.blogspot.com Sherrie

      “It also puts immature outbursts out in front of a large audience very quickly.”
      Very good point. And one I have experience with. In fact, the Facebook arguments were becoming so distracting (and disturbing) that I separated my profile into a public one and a private one. I then asked all my real, live 3D friends and family to join me at the private site.
      On the public site, I now have only a couple unknown “friends” who argue from the other side of the fence.
      In any event, these social networks are taking too much time as well as exposing us a little too much.
      It is nice to post a quick note that gets out to the people in your life, especially if you have had a loss in your life. It’s nice to know you don’t have to send a note or call when something difficult is going on.

      • http://www.1600words.com Amy Armstrong

        Oh! What a good idea, Sherrie re: keeping the real friends separate from the “friends.” I guess I kind of do that with the lists on Facebook, but that’s not totally reliable since we’re all at the mercy of what Facebook decides to do with the privacy settings—yet another interesting issue with social media. And yes, I’m completely with you on the amount of time these applications can suck up.

        I use Facebook primarily for family because so many people I know are scattered around the country, but Twitter, Blogger, Goodreads, and Library Thing are for everyone else. I want to stay connected to the publishing world, and it really is wonderful to be able to obtain and share information so easily, but I think it is important to be cognizant of what we put out there and how much time we’re spending because ultimately, what people remember is how we make them feel :-)

  • http://www.gabrielle-meyer.blogspot.com Gabrielle Meyer

    As a mother of four young children, I can’t tell you how many well meaning ladies at church – and elsewhere – tell me all the time: Wow – you spend an awful lot of time on Facebook and your blog for someone with young children at home! I always want to respond: You must be on the computer an awful lot to notice me on there! But, I never do. :) Instead I smile and day: I am a writer at heart and it’s how I keep my sanity most days. When my twin boys were babies and I couldn’t work on my manuscript, jumping on Facebook once a day to write a thirty second blip about my day was about all the writing I could do – and I cherished it. No matter what we do, there will always be naysayers – we just have to be mature enough to realize they don’t really know what they’re talking about and forgive them for their tactlessness.

    • http://pjcasselman.wordpress.com/ P. J. Casselman

      It’s amazing how these same ladies forget that when they were younger, they watched their kids play while they yacked with Margaret on the rotary phone. :)

      • http://www.gabrielle-meyer.blogspot.com Gabrielle Meyer

        My mom tells me that my grandmother would gather with the ladies in the neighborhood every morning over coffee in someone’s kitchen, while the kids ran free in the streets! :)

      • http://talesfromtheredhead@blogspot.com Jennifer Major

        what’s a rotary phone PJ? You’re old, maybe you can describe it to us young people.

        • http://www.josephjpote.com Joe Pote

          Sssssshhhhhkkkkk! Click-click-click-click-click-click-click…

          Shhhhhhhhhhhkkkkk! Click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click…

          Repeat for each digit in the phone number…

          • http://talesfromtheredhead@blogspot.com Jennifer Major

            Ahahahaha!

        • Jeanne Green

          Oh, that’s so funny! I remember the phone
          on the wall and you lifted the hearing part and the operator said “number, please!”
          Then came the desk phone that worked the same way. Then the rotary phone…which
          had a dial (rotary) that you dialed (actually ‘dialed’) by placing a fingertip in the proper numbers and turning the dial to zero until the entire series was ‘dialed’,
          We still use the word ‘dial’ but push buttons instead! Progress!

    • http://dianeyuhas.com Diane Yuhas

      Excellent response to a sticky or, may I say, tacky situation!

    • http://talesfromtheredhead@blogspot.com Jennifer Major

      Just remind them that you have more free time because you didn’t have to grow the cotton to make the kid’s diapers. Or fix the telegraph wire when the dodo bird flew into it.

  • http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    I’m afraid that social media is replacing communication with communiques.

    It’s really more a form of opacity than transparency – you can only learn about a Facebook ‘friend’ what that person chooses to reveal in a brief status update, bereft of nuance which body language, vocal inflection, or even handwriting would provide.

    And in that opacity lies its danger. Feeling shielded, many are freer with information and opinion than care and courtesy would advise.

    In other words – we end up knowing too much about people we don’t know well enough!

    (Can I put in a commercial? My book launches tomorrow! Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart – look for it at Amazon and everywhere else!)

    • http://www.jenniferdyer.net Jennifer Dyer

      Andrew,
      I like that word, opacity. I think it describes social media presence well. You are right, also, about how people take advantage of their anonymity to make statements without care or courtesy. Sad, but true…

      • http://www.josephjpote.com Joe Pote

        Yes, I like that word, too! Very descriptive!

    • http://pjcasselman.wordpress.com/ P. J. Casselman

      I agree with Jennifer, “Opacity” fits much of what we see in social media. (Nods head and gives an antiquated thumbs up.)

    • http://theotherstephenkingonwriting.blogspot.com Stephen H. King

      Congratulations on the book launch, and I think you hit the nail right where it hurts on the problem with social media. Excellent points.

    • http://dianeyuhas.com Diane Yuhas

      Great word choice: opacity.

    • http://talesfromtheredhead@blogspot.com Jennifer Major

      Great word, “opacity”!
      Congratulations on the book launch!
      If someone were to drive through certain towns in New Mexico, could they stop and purchase an autographed copy and have a Diet Coke while standing around a plane engine??

      • http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

        Sure could! And…thanks!

    • http://www.nataliesharpston.com Natalie Sharpston

      Great word, opacity. Thought I’d share the Dictionary.com definition of “opaque” for further clarity. Amazing how well the word works for this overall conversation…

      o·paque   [oh-peyk]
      adjective
      1. not transparent or translucent; impenetrable to light; not allowing light to pass through.
      2. not transmitting radiation, sound, heat, etc.
      3. not shining or bright; dark; dull.
      4. hard to understand; not clear or lucid; obscure: The problem remains opaque despite explanations.
      5. dull, stupid, or unintelligent.

    • http://None Jeanne Green

      I am 80 and just wrote a book and hoping to learn how to get someone with moxie to read it! It is a series of stories about my early life 1932 on. It has Christian leanings and is for girls 9 to 13, Easy to read and funny in part. We were so innocent. Love to hear suggestions!

      “Grandma Greenjeans Remembers….”

  • http://uprootinganger.com Kay Camenisch

    Social media is a way to keep up with distant friends, finding out when marriages take place and babies are born. However, it does not satisfy the need for relationship. Satisfying relationships are deep and multifaceted. They are spontaneous, not contrived to present a desired impression.

    When you don’t spend energy to craft the desired impression, you do place yourself in a position that is somewhat vulnerable. Nothing ever pleases everybody. You put yourself out there and you will receive some criticism.

    While I understand the need for contacts in order to sell books, what concerns me is the pressure to have a large number of followers in order to attract a publisher. It forces the authors that are not social butterflies to invest time and energy in a direction that makes them more vulnerable. I wonder if the investment pays off or if the requirement for a large social media presence will change.

    • http://www.christianreads.blogspot.com Iola

      The supposed need for authors to have hundreds or thousands of social media followers also ignores one fact: many readers don’t want to have relationships (real or imagined) with authors. We just want to read their books.

      • http://4broadminds.blogspot.com/ carol brill

        Yeah Iola :)

      • http://www.fragmentsandfriends.blogspot.com Christine Dorman / @looneyfilberts

        Iola, I mostly agree with you. I know that agents and publishers want writers to have media presence and a large numbers of followers. Since I haven’t done any statistical research, I can’t state that there is no correlation between that and book sales, however, both intuitively and experientially I doubt that the premise. I would loved to have had the opportunity to chat with James Herriot on his blog, had he had one. That said, he is the only author I can think of that I would have wanted to follow online in anyway AND I only would have done it AFTER having read his books. This middle-aged vet from rural Yorkshire managed to do rather well, thank you, without the aid of social media. I don’t know if he ever did a t.v. interview.

        • http://None Jeanne Green

          My very favorite…I have read the series 3 times and never tire of it. He us one of a kind infortunately!

          • http://www.fragmentsandfriends.blogspot.com Christine Dorman / @looneyfilberts

            Jeanne, it’s wonderful to meet another Herriot fan! Sadly, he’s gone now, but we’ll always have his stories. :)

    • http://www.fragmentsandfriends.blogspot.com Christine Dorman / @looneyfilberts

      “You put yourself out there and you will receive some criticism.” Very true, Kay. No matter what you do, someone will find fault with it.

      • http://uprootinganger.com Kay Camenisch

        The criticism isn’t always bad. It can be helpful. However, it still uses energy to sort through it and decide whether to use it or move beyond it–sometimes a lot of energy. And it would often be better spent elsewhere.

  • http://www.jenniferdyer.net Jennifer Dyer

    I don’t get angry at other people for their web presence, but I wonder how they manage it all. One of my fav authors does it beautifully, but I can’t seem to keep things balanced the way she does.

    As a bit of a technophobe, I didn’t want to be on any of the social sites, but my editor (I write with a momblogging group) told me I had to come into the current century. :-) I love encouraging moms and women, so I see the benefits, but the pressure to be witty and to have my tweets/FB posts “liked” can tie my stomach up in knots. This makes me laugh at myself, but from what I read, so much rides on web popularity.

    As for being criticized, I’ve had people respond from personal places of pain (I write often about being a special needs parent). The availability of information helps people that might otherwise be isolated discuss their frustrations, questions, or fears. I have learned to be careful about what I say or how I say it, though. One person took something I said on FB out of context and got very upset. Once the situation was explained (and the person read the entire quote), she apologized, but it was an unfortunate event.

    Social media has its benefits, but it certainly is a huge time drain and an emotional roller coaster.

    • http://pjcasselman.wordpress.com/ P. J. Casselman

      I hear that. As someone who gives two twenty minute speeches and teaches a class every week, I’m well aware that people can take things out of context or hear them selectively. Sometimes, we just have to shake it off and not let worry over the odd receiver paralyze us from our message. One nice thing about social media is that you have it written down, so there’s a chance to revisit the actual words. Unfortunately, that’s part of the downside too. O.o

  • http://pjcasselman.wordpress.com/ P. J. Casselman

    I have too many people on my Facebook that know me too well for me to be phony. My mother posted nude pictures of me as a toddler for all my congregation to see, so my notion of exposure might be tainted, however. (Yes, I untagged myself.)
    Ten years ago, I cared about projecting a good image. Now I try to be compassionately transparent (AKA speaking the truth in love).

    If I want to post something that some shouldn’t read, I question my motivation for posting it. My need to post something racy calls my desires into question and so a good inward cleaning is in order. If I want to whine about something or bash someone, I look at the love factor involved. Not that I’ve reached any level of perfection in my attempt at doing these, but that is how I attempt to be online and off.

    Can problems arise? You bet!
    “Why didn’t you attend that function? I saw you post online at that time, pastor.”
    “Well, it was my free time. I’d put in ten hours already.”
    “Yeah, but it was important to me.”
    “OK, dig her up and we’ll have a do over.” :-P

    • http://talesfromtheredhead@blogspot.com Jennifer Major

      I nearly spewed all over the place!!
      “Dig her up and we’ll do her over”?!?!?!?!

      That is hilarious!!!

      Oh, and completely wrong!

      Just covering that “what if our words condemn us” clause. Of course, I’m WAY too late on that…

      • http://pjcasselman.wordpress.com/ P. J. Casselman

        I even cleared that one with the boss. :)

        • http://talesfromtheredhead@blogspot.com Jennifer Major

          Hahahaha!!! That comment I’d allow even without The Boss’s approval.

        • http://talesfromtheredhead@blogspot.com Jennifer Major

          Nice of me to *allow* that, eh?

    • http://theotherstephenkingonwriting.blogspot.com Stephen H. King

      I thought pastors worked 24 hours a day, though? :-)

      Always hated that term “in love” when I was active in the church. People always seemed to think it was a perfect little code for “this is going to hurt you more than it does me, but you can’t get mad at me ’cause I’m doing it in love, ‘k?”

      That said, I can understand your plight. I have a good friend on Facebook–former roommie at West Point–who’s a pastor down in Texas. He has to be very careful what he puts up there, and I’m sure not going to be tagging him if I tell any of the stories that are less than–pastoral.

      Guess it boils down to “image is everything” and “perception is reality” and whatever other quaint cliches you want to apply. The “opacity” term probably is my current favorite. Professionals on Facebook have to be more who we’re expected to be than who we really are.

      • http://pjcasselman.wordpress.com/ P. J. Casselman

        I agree, the truth in love line is often a disguised smack in the head. When applied correctly, it most often means “If you can’t say anything nice…” Now isn’t that special. :-D

    • http://theotherstephenkingonwriting.blogspot.com Stephen H. King

      Oh, forgot to say: Funny how babies are always born naked in the eyes of God and everybody else, and that’s a good thing right up to the point where pictures show up on Facebook.

      • http://talesfromtheredhead@blogspot.com Jennifer Major

        Or at wedding receptions. My husband and I have a special file for the kids.

        • http://pjcasselman.wordpress.com/ P. J. Casselman

          Uh oh, I know that file well. My mom brings it out way too often. If I find it, it’s going to somehow turn up missing. GRIN

    • http://www.fragmentsandfriends.blogspot.com Christine Dorman / @looneyfilberts

      “Compassionate transparency”–love that, PJ. And ya just gotta love mothers. They do have a way of keeping us humble, don’t they? :)

      • http://pjcasselman.wordpress.com/ P. J. Casselman

        Very humble and thank you. :)

  • http://mmnicodemos.wordpress.com M. M. Nicodemos

    The internet is a public domain. Most of what we place online will remain online unless we remove it. And if you associate your name to posts, reviews, etc., if someone is willing to go the extra mile of searching your name, they can build a picture of who you are. That can work both ways: someone revealing who they really are as opposed to someone setting up a front.

    As for my own personal experiences, I don’t feel that I have responded too negatively to other user’s posts or tweets. Mind you that I do, at times, feel frustrated when I don’t get a response when I make a post or reply to a tweet, etc. But thats the nature of any social interaction and we must learn to accept that others have several concerns, many that do not relate to us.

    What saddens me, however, is how the internet has and is being used for very negative and cruel behaviors. I read a year or two ago about cyber bullying. The case involved a group of children that set up a fake Facebook account for another child that they chose to bully. They pretended to be the child and used this as a method of defamation, living the poor give isolated without any friends at school.

    That is shocking to read. I can only imagine how many times this happens in such a huge world, one in which many people have migrated to online.

    • http://mmnicodemos.wordpress.com M. M. Nicodemos

      Oh boy, typo…

      I meant to say “leaving the poor kid isolated.”

    • http://pjcasselman.wordpress.com/ P. J. Casselman

      It truly is horrible how some are bullied both online and off. More heartbreaking stories occur each day, but because there is no suicide, the media doesn’t pick up on them.

    • http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

      I try not to respond negatively to posts, but I have lost respect for some people who have quoted ‘issue’ graphics on FB that were supposed to be funny, but were, to me, over-the-top cruel.

      Regarding bullying, I’m tempted to think, “Can’t someone DO something? Can’t this be controlled?”

      No, it can’t. Not even in a totalitarian society

      Technology has let a genie out of a bottle, and whether its full effects are benficent or malign, there’s no going back.

  • http://www.oliviaobryon.com Olivia

    It’s funny, I feel like the concept of being overexposed must be drifting through the universe today because I wrote about the same thing on my blog before I even saw this:

    http://oliviaobryon.com/2012/07/09/overexposure/

    I often worry that I put too much of myself out there, that somehow I may be compromising the relationships in my real life for the value of my blog. Yet I also derive a lot of enjoyment from having a space to express myself and write regularly. It seems like a very delicate balance!

  • http://sallycollings.com Sally Collings

    And I thought it was just me … only yesterday I got steamed up seeing my agent waxing lyrical on Twitter when my latest proposal has been sitting on her desk for three whole weeks! I know that’s not so long in the grand scheme of things, but this really is a fantastic proposal :)

    • http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

      This really highlights something in social media that can have a huge impact on relationships of many kinds.

      The immediacy of social media has led to a systemic change in expectations. We can now know what others are doing in real time, and we can therefore expect, or hope, that they’ll be thinking of us.

  • Virginia

    My concern is:
    When all this crashes, where will it leave everyone. It will happen. It’s just a matter of when.

    Authors, writers, all business personal will be affected. Then I wonder will it be back to the old Trad form?

    Hard copy books to find out the who is who in agents, editors, publishing houses.

    I also don’t see a lot of the top authors on Facebook, or Twitter. Or a lot of authors published with the Traditional Publishing houses. Worth a thought.

    Personally, I think it’s a waste of time, but as for the people who think writers spend too much time on social networking. I scough at that. Mind your own business. :)

    Food for thought. :)

    • http://doubtingwriter.blogspot.com/ jeffo

      Personally, I think if–or when–’it’ crashes, it will be to the extent that we won’t be worrying a whole lot about publishing books at all. But that’s probably not a discussion we want to get into here.

  • http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    Is there a veiled reason why the acronym for social media is SM?

    (My wife calls me one of the finest minds of the fifteenth century, but I did pick that up all by myself!)

  • http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    I’m not sure if anyone’s mentioned this in a previous posting, but does there seem to be a general loss of civility, engendered, at least to some degree, by the format we use for social media?

    For instance, most emails I get use the salutation, “Andrew”. For quite a while I was put off, thinking this sounded rather rude, rather abrupt.

    I’ve tried to rationalize it as an aspect of technological dialect. But I think it’s still bloody rude.

    • http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

      The foregoing doesn’t apply to a first-name salutation in the context of a ‘blog conversation’. I was referring to emails that now functionally replace letters.

      I’m not really a technophobe – my wife and I met and courted over the Internet in 2001-2.

      However, after we divorced a year later, the reconstruction and redemption of our relationship took place by telephone, with hardly an email sent.

      (And now y’all know more about me than you wanted to.)

      • http://talesfromtheredhead@blogspot.com Jennifer Major

        And yet now you have a swank kitchen island and a wee few pets around the house. Think how far you’ve both come???

        • http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

          Oh, yes. It’ll be another book.

    • http://www.fragmentsandfriends.blogspot.com Christine Dorman / @looneyfilberts

      I agree, Andrew, that it is bloody rude and, to my mind, presumptuous. However, I’ve this business of total strangers addressing me by my first name since way before social media became huge. Back in the seventies, I received letters addressed to “Christine” from people who wanted to sell me something. I get phone calls from cheery strangers who say, “Hi, Christine” as if we’re old chums. So while I agree that it is rude and I chaff at it, I don’t think this is one we can blame on social media. I think it’s a corruption of civility in society at large, at least in the U.S.

      • http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

        I remember that from the 70s; I think it began then, or in the late 60s.

        I agree that we can’t blame social media for the presumption of familiarity (and many other social ills!). We can, however, lay another baby squarely at its doorstep…

        Social media has fostered an expectation of intimacy in relationships that are properly distant. So many people will share so much on FB, that it’s become an expected de rigeur to do the same…and that has, in my experience, spilled over into other avenues of communication.

        • http://www.fragmentsandfriends.blogspot.com Christine Dorman / @looneyfilberts

          Very true.

    • http://www.nataliesharpston.com Natalie Sharpston

      Isn’t “bloody” is a super duper bad word in the UK? Just saying… since we’re talking about civility and this blog reaches beyond the U.S. :)

  • John Sauvé-Rodd (London UK)

    Maybe we/you are thinking about social media from the wrong perspective. It’s not how much time we appear to waste. It’s what FB can be used for to well our books.

    Here is an American author I came across in my research who has used Facebook as an advertising medium. With some success:

    John E. Nevola – Author of The Last Jump
    Facebook Ads – “I have had some great sales months in the last year and for the most part sales have grown quarter to quarter. …….but one thing has remained constant throughout and that is my paid Facebook Ads. So I’m staying with them. If you decide to go with this I recommend you study the guide on Facebook. Set your demographic and interest profile to reach at least 7 million people (more if possible). Also, use the daily expense cap to limit your expenses. ”

    http://thelastjump.wordpress.com/

  • Lanny

    Rachelle, your diligent posting on your blog, website, etc., reflect your inherent goodness, IMHO, and I consider it a public service that you’ve undertaken,so I don’t think you are overexposed at all. But you’re right, we’re all getting crafty if not paranoid with the personal info we post.

    However, I have a related question for you, from a term I hear a lot: What is an acceptable “web presence” for a writer? What’s required–a writer’s blog? twitter and FB postings? belonging to various writer’s colonies? I think we can all come up with a version of the “maximum” web presence, but what’s the minimum? What constitutes the minimum web presence a writer should establish?

  • http://www.cgblake.wordpress.com CG Blake

    Rachelle,
    Good subject here. Social media is about sharing and a sense of community. I’m fine with authors who are heavy social media users, as long as they are not obnoxious self-promoters. If they use it to share their knowledge and wisdom, that benefits all of us. Authors, though, need to be wary of not engaging so heavily in social media that it takes away from their writing time. Thanks for this post and for all the great comments by others.

    • http://www.fragmentsandfriends.blogspot.com Christine Dorman / @looneyfilberts

      Well put, CG.

  • http://www.timothyfish.net Timothy Fish

    I ignore comments about how long I spend online. As long as it isn’t keeping me from doing the more important things, I figure I can allocate my online time as I please.

    Oddly enough, what hurts is some of the comments implying that I have said things that I never intended to say. Mostly, that is because I don’t know how to say what I mean other than to say what I mean. Recently, on another blog, the discussion had something to do with the way romance novels are sold. I made some comment and several people assumed that I was saying something against romance novels, which I was not. When I asked why, they said it was because of comments I’d made on other blogs. Other than saying that romance novels are not my cup of tea and making a few comments about things I think romance novelists should avoid doing, I really don’t know what caused all of that. Somehow, it led to the wrong impression.

    • http://www.josephjpote.com Joe Pote

      Yes, certainly a danger. However, it seems that risk of being misunderstood exists regardless of the form of communication.

      Either that or I’m just a poor communicator regardless of the media used to communicate… ;-)

  • http://doubtingwriter.blogspot.com/ jeffo

    Regarding the ‘why are you blogging/tweeting/FB’ing instead of reading my manuscript’ thing, I think it helps to remember two things: First, you are not the only client of that agent/editor; second, the brain can only do so much in the course of a day. You need to switch gears, take a break, change things up, etc. That helps keep your mind fresh. I’d rather have said person doing that every once in a while than looking at–and judging–my work when they’re fatigued.

  • http://publishness.blogspot.com/ Angela Brown

    I’d have to say that it’s a subjective matter. We are open to criticism no matter what.

    What may seem as too much social media activity can be criticized for keeping oneself too busy to do the things others want done: that agent reply, that promised novelette expanding on a couple’s history, etc.

    Too little may be criticized as being standoffish, aloof, lacking the desire to interact.

    I admit, I may not be thrilled to hear that an agent I queried took off for vacation, but two things will cross my mind: that agent is still human and needs some time away from the daily grind and at least I’ll know why I haven’t gotten something from them…cause they aren’t there. That can be a bit of a relief.

  • Jerry Eckert

    As a nonfiction writer and memoirist, I constantly wrestle with the fact that as I write my memories, my memories become what I wrote. What are the risks associated with people’s self image becoming limited to that highly selected, edited, polished, nuanced bit of fiction they craft as their on-line persona?

  • Jerry Eckert

    I thought Twitter was for twits, but then what do I know?

    • http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

      One functional definition of Twitter is that it forces rude people to learn to enhance the efficiency of their hostility by keeping it within 140 characters.

      (But there are a lot of entertaining Twits out there, whose gay and melodic Tweets make life brighter!)

      • http://www.nataliesharpston.com Natalie Sharpston

        Hilarious!!!!

        “One functional definition of Twitter is that it forces rude people to learn to enhance the efficiency of their hostility by keeping it within 140 characters.”

        Thanks for the giggle.

  • http://theotherstephenkingonwriting.blogspot.com Stephen H. King

    Any professional has to be concerned with transparency versus “opacity” (thanks for a great word, Andrew!). As a Dean by day, I have to be very careful what I post on my Facebook page and my blog because even though my boss and my current students are not “friends” there, I have to assume they’ll see anything I post.

    Story comes to mind of a former campus where I was Dean; I walked into the office one morning to find an envelope slipped under the door. In it was a heavily-redacted printout of one of my faculty member’s Facebook pages talking about how she hated the school, her students, and her Dean, and even making the accusation that I was sleeping with another faculty member. I ended up being kind of glad I’d received the copy, because it gave me an opportunity to open a conversation (face to face, of course) that I’d had no idea was even needed and clear up some misconceptions. Still, social media is the absolute wrong place to air those thoughts and expressions.

    The timing thing plays into it as well; I try to avoid posting things during the day (even when I’m taking a break or eating my lunch) so that nobody will think I just sit at my desk and play on Facebook.

    The response thing–yeah. The written word, for all of the fact that it pays the bills for many people here, is an imperfect communication mechanism. A book or an article is one thing–we write, and then we put away, and then we go back over to make sure the words we wrote were really the ones we meant to use. Nobody does that with Facebook posts or Tweets, though. It’s not even done as often as it should be with blog posts, I think.

    -TOSK

    • http://pjcasselman.wordpress.com/ P. J. Casselman

      I have a few rant posters on my Facebook friend list. Someday, I should make a video response of me rolling my eyes and scrolling down to the next post. Why do people think they can bash, slander and roll others on social media. After all, we know where you live, what your kids look like, where you went to high school, what you had for breakfast, where you work, you political preference, yada yada yada…we know when to strike and how many water balloons to bring. Muhahaha.
      Anyway, slander and liable isn’t right just because it’s addressed to friends.

  • http://Www.summerjarviswrites.com Summer

    I have a funny post about this. I definitely agree. Read it- you might laugh and recognize yourself or some of your friends!
    http://www.summerjarviswrites.com/2012/06/marketing-tips-101.html?m=1

    • http://Www.summerjarviswrites.com Summer

      I how it’s okay to post links here? If not please let me know!

  • http://deborahserravalle.wordpress.com Deborah Serravalle

    Facebook (definitely social), Twitter, LinkedIn (business)and all the other on-line media tools must be understood and used with discretion.

    Case in point, I was stunned recently to see what a supposedly savvy business person posted on her FB page.

    Online social media tools (TOOLS!) can be extraordinarily helpful must they must be used with discretion. And a hefty dose of common sense.

    • http://deborahserravalle.wordpress.com Deborah Serravalle

      I said discretion twice. Hmmm. Perhaps subconsciously I knew it was worth repeating : )

  • http://www.SarahAnneLoudinThomas.wordpress.com Sarah Thomas

    I like having access to information about agents and editors. Then I can tell myself the reason they haven’t responded to my query/proposal/e-mail is that they’re on vacation or getting ready for a conference or at a conference or blogging or dealing iwth three kids who have the flue . . .

    I may feel differently once I’ve signed with an agent or editor and have, perhaps, more of a reasonable expectation of a timely response!

  • http://www.atlasmediank.com Adam Porter (@AtlasProWriter)

    To me, the edited Internet “persona” is nothing more than the “right clothes for the job.” You don’t wear Bermuda shorts to speak at a convention (unless it’s in Margaritaville) and you don’t wear a tuxedo at the beach (unless you’re a penguin from Madagascar). Knowing how to edit your posts and when and what to share is like knowing how to dress appropriately. It may take time and thought, but in our Internet Age, it’s a necessary social skill.

    • http://www.fragmentsandfriends.blogspot.com Christine Dorman / @looneyfilberts

      Well said, Adam!

    • http://pjcasselman.wordpress.com/ P. J. Casselman

      Yep, don’t go to a wedding in a speedo…again.

  • http://my.tbaytel.net/bonnieheather/index.htm Bonnie Ferrante

    I find it difficult to decide where and how much time and energy to spend on scoial media. There seems to be a never-ending list of sites to connect with others. I finally had to turn down invitations and drop off a couple because I was overextended. I’ve also realized that the two or three hours I spend writing a blog means I don’t write anything else that day, so I’ve cut back on blogs. I’ve decided more laser, less shotgun.

    I envy writers who wrote during the time when a stack of fan letters waited for reply and only once they achieved a level of fame. Social media drains a lot of energy and focus from time that could be spent improving my writing.

    • http://www.fragmentsandfriends.blogspot.com Christine Dorman / @looneyfilberts

      I agree, Bonnie.

  • http://www.atlasmediank.com Adam Porter (@AtlasProWriter)

    To your point about folks criticizing other folks. In my opinion, criticism can be a healthy outlet if it’s topical, fair and focused. But all to often criticism is nothing more than a self inflicted gunshot wound. Any time I invest in complaining about how someone else is doing their job takes away from my own limited bank of creative and constructive time. It’s like robbing myself.

    Maybe it’s just me, but – and this is entirely subjective and anecdotal – happy, productive people find little to criticize, while unhappy, frustrated people tend to have something to gripe about every day. So, then, is the solution forcing or shaming people into doing what I want them to do when I want them to do it, or is it finding and doing something that makes me happy?

    Since you cannot control others, both solutions lead to the same net result – criticism doesn’t matter. Breathe in. Breathe out. Move on.

  • http://dianeyuhas.com Diane Yuhas

    I’m tempted at first to respond with a few paranoid comments, but really, it’s not so different than in person. The concept of image has been around a long time; social media merely gives it strength.

    • http://Www.summerjarviswrites.com Summer

      Good point.

  • http://www.josephjpote.com Joe Pote

    Does any else find it ironic and amusing that we are all currently using social media to discuss the pro’s and con’s of social media?

    And that we are all revelling in our social media opacity while discussing why said opacity might not be such a good thing?

    And have I mentioned that I have a somewhat twisted sense of humor? :-)

    • http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

      Those are great points, and I, for one, always look forward to reading your slant on topics.

      • http://www.josephjpote.com Joe Pote

        Thanks, Andrew! I always like it when someone else gets my humor.

        Laughter is good. Laughter with someone else is better…

    • http://pjcasselman.wordpress.com/ P. J. Casselman

      What better place to talk about coffee houses than Starbucks, right? ;-)

      So you know, I happen to like your sense of humor.

      • http://www.josephjpote.com Joe Pote

        True!

        But would you sit in Starbucks to discuss your concerns that a coffee house might be a poor place to visit, because you suspect all coffee drinkers to be less than completely honest?

        • http://pjcasselman.wordpress.com/ P. J. Casselman

          Aha, a discussion amongst those who lie. It reminds me of the riddle–

          Someone was sentenced to death, but since the king loves riddles, he threw this guy into a room with two doors. One leading to death, one leading to freedom. There are two soldiers, each one guarding one door. One of the guards will always lie, the other one will always tell the truth. The man is allowed to ask one soldier one yes-no question and then has to decide, which door to take. Which one question can he ask to find the door to freedom?

          • Joe Pote

            “Which door would the other guard tell me leads to life?”

            Then choose the opposite door. :-)

  • Jeff

    You know, it’s funny. I love hearing from my favorite authors (tweets/blog posts). It’s a really cool way to connect with them. But on the other end of that scale, if they did keep promising that “the book” will be out on X day, and kept pushing it back, and they were tearing up the blogs with many posts a day, I’d get a little annoyed. It’s only human nature.

    Same thing for my agent, or my coworker, or anyone who I give and take with.

  • http://flowerpatchfarmgirl.blogspot.com/ Flower Patch Farmgirl

    I’ve been blogging for 3 years, and I probably blog less frequently right now than ever. Still, it is only since I have gained a substantial following that my “real life” friends have started to throw a few stones. No one cared when I was talking to myself. But now that people are listening, I am accused of caring too much. And all the while, I’m doing what I’ve always done; I’m sitting here typing and pushing “publish”.

    I think social media is fantastic fun. It’s also a likely suspect for a scapegoat.

  • Susan Bourgeois

    Yes, I feel there is way too much personal information on social media.

    I don’t believe half the stuff people say about themselves on social media.

    Think about it this way: Who in the world is going to list aspects of their lives in an unfavorable manner?

    Most people who expose their daily lives on social media sites (not blog writers or the like) tend to highlight the positive areas of their lives.

    Just this morning I saw a television report where a study found high stress levels linked to checking phones throughout the day. Common sense tells us this could produce stress. In fact, just watching my adult children check their phones while visiting, stresses the heck out of me.

    The report also stated using the computer throughout the night and right before you go to bed can be linked to depression.

    The report suggested not using the computer an hour before bedtime.

    I’m not a genius but I’ve been telling this to my adult children for ages.

    I watch as many repeatedly check their phones to read social sites or even the news several times within an hour. This can’t be good because you’re not really disconnecting to any large degree. It’s like you’re temporarily putting yourself on hold until you check again. You’re basically staying connected but on hold all throughout the day and in a state of waiting for your next dose of electronic stimulation.

    You’re not able to breathe and relax and take in other important happenings that surround you, like life…

    Reading about other people’s personal lives on social media constantly can also be a downer.

    Many people compare their lives with others. It’s normal to do so but it’s critical that we remember people are not going to list the “bad” happenings in their lives, for the most part, on their personal site for everyone to see.

    Think of it this way: Social media can be an area where we construct a life we wish others, including ourselves, believe to be true. This extension of our lives, in most cases, is not encompassing what is truly happening in all areas of our life.

    I talked to my oldest child about this report just this morning. I will do the same with my youngest. He’s 28 and at the age where social media is a major part of a social life.

    As far as my middle child, my 32 year old, she’s all over social media. She loves it. I cringe thinking about what she’s putting out there. As I’ve stated, I’m a private person. I don’t feel the need to connect all throughout the day.

    This is my one blog that I read and respond to when I have something important I want to mention.

    I read this blog because it educates me in fulfilling my writing goals.

    • http://doubtingwriter.blogspot.com/ jeffo

      ‘This can’t be good because you’re not really disconnecting to any large degree.’

      Actually, what you’re disconnecting from are the people around you, the people you’re supposed to be interacting with at that moment.

  • http://www.artesianministries.org Donna Pyle

    Personally, I love social media. It has provided invaluable connections – both personal and professional. As a writer and speaker, it’s one of the best modern tools available to connect with people. Some people have commented on my time using Twitter and Facebook, but frankly that’s their issue, not mine. They’re on there often enough to notice. Hmmm… Social media is a vital part of the business I’m in, and I embrace it wholeheartedly. Naturally, it needs to be used with discretion, just like our lips in real life. Social media builds community, platform, and certain friendships that other avenues lack.

  • http://www.colindsmith.com/blog Colin Smith

    I like the fact that blogs and Twitter helps me get to know agents beyond the professional bio. Agreed–it’s not like knowing someone “face-to-face.” But there’s a lot you can learn about someone in the things they post online (and the things they don’t post) that can tip you off whether this is someone you want to work with long term.

    As for agents/editors/writers Tweeting or blogging when they should be doing their jobs? Given that I know the best agents/editors/writers LOVE what they do, I have no fear that they aren’t serious about their work. Why should I begrudge them a few moments to connect with society and enjoy a laugh with friends/clients/followers?

  • http://www.beckydoughty.wordpress.com Becky Doughty

    Is anyone else creeped out by the image you used for this post, Rachelle???

    Discretion is ALWAYS appropriate. Period. No matter what your ideas are of SM, discretion about yourself AS WELL AS discretion towards others!

    About myself? No one needs to know that I found a very cold and slow-moving fly in my fridge and showed it to my kids who thought it was funny – nor do they really want to see pics of the whole event. (Did I just post that for all the world to read?). BUT I will post uplifting, spirit-building, God-glorifying messages, NOT BECAUSE I’M FAKING IT OR ONLY GIVING MY GOOD SIDE, but because I want to encourage, not bring down.

    Towards others? I don’t care if you want to go to the river and party ’til you drop but I won’t be there with you in person and I don’t really want your pics posted on my family-friendly FB account. BUT I do want to know how the Lord is blessing you, if there’s any way I can pray for you, if you and your family have been evacuated for your own safety….

    Discretion. It’s a beautiful thing.

    • http://www.nataliesharpston.com Natalie Sharpston

      Amen, Becky! :)

  • http://terri-treasures.blogspot.com terri tiffany

    I’ve really never run into that yet…maybe cause I don’t have a book out but I do try to be honest about who I am on social media sites. I don’t share all the horrors but try to share what others might relate to.

  • http://www.henwoodtitles.weebly.com Brian Henwood

    To me, the “danger” of social media is twofold:

    1. Unless you’re already a superstar, it is easy to fall for the notion that the people you’re speaking to are the people you’ve spoken to. Even in here, there is a tight community of friends who support, encourage, etc. It’s easy to speak your mind and be open among friends like that.

    2. There’s also this false sense of anonymity that comes from being in the privacy of your home or office while you’re typing. You feel “safe” in the environment that you control and live in.

    The problem is, the internet is not an environment we can control. We are not anonymous, no matter how we try to limit what info we disclose about ourselves, and there are exponentially more people viewing our posts than are commenting on them – until someone says or does something potentially damaging. That’s when the cyber-terrorists or the opportunists strike.

    I know how that sounds. No, the sky isn’t falling and the end may not be nigh, but we do get lulled into believing we are in a safe place, when in fact there are people out there who will use that against us.

  • Jey Samuel

    I have been working with International students who use Facebook to a large extent more that any other media. I found out that along with posting pictures and videos, I can post articles which they read whenever they have time. Even though they may not comment or say they like it, when I meet them, they tell me they read them. It gives me great oppertunity to connect with them. I love Facebook for what it can do for me!

  • http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    Years ago, my brother and I corresponded by writing letters. His were lively and long, full of description and humor, wave-crests of fun sparkling on the broad sea of his personality.

    Came email…and I never saw his gloriously bad handwriting again. His emails were now excepts from articles he’d read, with bridge paragraphs that he wrote. Short ones, as if he was stepping out of the way of those who now spoke for him.

    It was a view to a small death.

  • ralph sweatte

    I was on Tweetdeck when I saw your post, but it is difficult to reply in 140 characters (or less). I guess this is ironic. Oh, btw, I’ll say “no”.

  • http://einefeistyberg.wordpress.com Cherry Odelberg

    If it leaves us over-exposed, it is to too many “oughts,” and demands. I ought to keep up facebook everyday, following up with everyone, reminding them I am here. I ought to keep current with my blog, posting on a regular schedule. I ought to be writing instead of marketing. I ought to be building a platform instead of writing. I ought to get off the computer and take care of deadlines for my real job…

    • http://www.rebeccasnotepad.wordpress.com R’becca Groff

      Very astute comment here. It has added a whole new layer of stress and work for many of us.

      We try to control it, but let’s face it–even trying to do that is yet another distraction–and time requirement.

      Would it not be a fun experiment to see how the world reacted to ONE WHOLE DAY WHERE NOBODY LOGGED ONTO THEIR COMPUTER?!

      Science fiction writers–where are you? Somebody–make up a story about that! :-D

    • http://pjcasselman.wordpress.com/ P. J. Casselman

      There’s definitely a lot of “oughts” that can nag us. I go through some media as a part of my job. Sometimes it tells me who needs a visit.

  • http://www.bitmorecomplicated.com rose22joh

    This one is interesting, and I think I might have been quite critical about procrastination if I hadn’t recently read “Doctor Who: the Writer’s Tale”.
    This book, by Doctor Who television screenwriter Russell T Davis and journalist Benjamin Cook, is a series of emails between the two of them as RTD writes series 4 of Doctor Who and various specials.
    Although the emails and texts are on one level just wasting time that could have been spent writing, they show how RTD’s ideas were formulated and shaped by the other conversations and things he did when not actually sat at his computer writing. For his part Ben Cook acts as sounding board, Doctor who expert and spurs RTD to action.
    It’s an interesting lesson – part diary, part treatise on the process of writing, interspersed with enough overnight panics to show that deadlines matter. Oh and they got a best-selling book out of it too.
    While these were emails rather than Twitter or Facebook, I think it is the same principle. Other people have no idea what your creative process is, and while it can just be a distraction, it can also help you to that next big plotline…
    Jo (taking a break from 40k into my novel to type this and not at all distracted by social media, honest!)

  • http://www.fragmentsandfriends.blogspot.com Christine Dorman / @looneyfilberts

    In regards to the writers who think that agents write too many blogs when they ought to be reading queries, some writers may feel that way, but actually, I’m happy that you, Rachelle, and other agents write blogs such as this one. From these blogs, I’ve learned a great deal about being a professional writer and about the business side of writing. For example, yesterday, Janet Kobobel Grant wrote an excellent post about agent-author contracts. The agents at the Nelson agency do a great deal of teaching with their blogs (and Sara Megibow’s tweeting) about how to write queries that will hook agents and what NOT to do in a query. All of this is in the best interest of writers. I’m sure without the information I’ve garnered from these generous agents, I would have sent out query letters that would have gone immediately to the PASS pile. My manuscript, no matter how brilliantly written it might be, would never get a chance because I didn’t know how to write a query. Also, if all an agent did all day was read queries, I would imagine she would get quite grumpy by mid-morning. As an English teacher, I grade tons of papers, many of them carelessly written. After a couple of hours, I find my patience wearing quite thin. I have to get up and do something else for a while, then go back to grading papers later. If I didn’t, there would be many more papers with Fs because I just get fed up. I know that if an agent only read queries all day, I wouldn’t want mine to be read late in the day…!

    The same goes for editors taking vacations. YAY! An editor with bleary eyes is not a helpful editor.

    Should an editor or agent mention that he or she share online that he or she just got back from a relaxing vacation in Florida or that he / she wasn’t able to accomplish much this weekend because of a sick child? Why not? They are human, and I’m glad to be reminded of that.

    Of course, what we share and how much we share online, whether we’re editors, agents, writers or just Sally Jo who has a blog for fun, comes down to discretion. If I’ve just had a messy break up with my “significant other” that doesn’t have to go on the blog or Twitter or FB. All of us have personas–a few different personas, not just online, but in everyday life. I’m not going to tell my students the kinds of things I would tell my best friend. I have a professional relationship with my students and there are things that are appropriate to that relationship and things that are not. It is the same way online. It is the same with social media. I only put online that which I feel comfortable making public.

    In regards to vulnerability–any time we interact with other humans beings in a genuine way, we make ourselves vulnerable. By reaching out, we take a risk of being rejected. The alternative is not to give others a chance, to reject them before they reject me. I choose to take the risk and try to connect with others.

    • http://pjcasselman.wordpress.com/ P. J. Casselman

      “I only put online that which I feel comfortable making public.” <– yeah, exactly. Therein is the difference between wisdom and folly.

      • http://www.fragmentsandfriends.blogspot.com Christine Dorman / @looneyfilberts

        Thanks, PJ. :)

  • http://jilldomschot.com Jill

    Personally, I live in a town with constant flux. My friends are always moving away. If it weren’t for my online friends–as limited as those friendships are–I would feel lost and alone. I say stupid things all the time and hope for the forgiveness I’m willing to give to others.

    • http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

      That is one of the most honest, beautiful, and moving elucidations I have seen in a long time.

      I’ve never felt comfortable with social media, and have looked for reasons to dislike it. After reading your post, Jill, I will stay my thoughts, and most certainly my words.

      The Power of The Pen – one simple paragraph brought a runaway Luddite to a hammer-and-sabot-dropping halt!

      • http://jilldomschot.com Jill

        Don’t take me wrong–I’ve had problems with social media and have resented the necessity of the writer platform, in part because it reminds me of being the unpopular kid in school. But through the years, I’ve found some very good friends and have also been able to keep up with real-life friends who have moved away. That makes it worthwhile to me. I hope that doesn’t wreck my simple paragraph. And thank you for the compliment.

        • http://www.nataliesharpston.com Natalie Sharpston

          Jill, I agree with Andrew! Your 1st comment was beautiful. Your 2nd comment didn’t diminish the first – it just balanced it a bit. I related to both. :)

  • http://angieschilaty.blogspot.com Angie

    I love this post. I think the hardest thing about social media (for me) is acknowledging that social media is media. Designed to educate and entertain, life isn’t always what is appears to be online. No one wants to read about our imperfect lives, the dishes in the kitchen sink, and the to-do list that never ends…

    • http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

      Actually, within reason and with discretion, that’s what we do want to read about.

      The minutae of life can be overwhelming, and reading about how others deal with it, and still manage to write, is inspiring.

      • http://angieschilaty.blogspot.com angie

        I hadn’t thought about it that way! Thanks :)

  • http://blog.aquizone.net Patrick Aquilone

    I find this interesting when I just posted on my blog about Social Networking (http://www.aquizone.net/blogs/aquiman/stuff/offtopic/the-best-social-network-ever/) and have a post tomorrow because Facebook banned me from sending friend requests because, perish the thought, I wanted to connect to people I went to high school with.

    I would say that only real complaint that I have is the power the governing entity has with no accountability. For example, Facebook can ban or disable you without any ability to appeal or even counter that you were not guilty. I know someone who had their author page taken down because someone reported them as being “fictitious”. He did not have any recourse with Facebook. Had to make a whole new one.

    Anyway just my thoughts.

  • Elissa

    The thing is, I have never been a “social” person. I was never part of the “in” crowd, never one of the popular kids. I neither wanted nor needed the attention or stress that comes with all of that social connection.

    And you know what? I still don’t.

    I have friends that I know face-to-face. I write actual letters, with envelopes and stamps. There’s something truly uplifting about getting a friendly letter in the mail that can’t be replicated with email.

    I don’t own a cell phone, much less a smart phone (no reception where I live, for one thing). If I ever get involved with facebook, twitter, or other social media, I will definitely be using them as tools, not social outlets.

    Even so, I would never criticize another person for using their time however they wish. One: It’s none of my business. Two: It’s still none of my business.

    • http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

      Bravo! I would give a lot for a friend who wanted to communicate by letter.

      In what I know will be a horribly ironic suggestion…perhaps we could start a Facebook page on which letter-writers could contact one another?

      • http://www.josephjpote.com Joe Pote

        LOL! Too funny!

  • http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    I think that the biggest benefit of social media is that it provides shut-ins (remember that bit of archaic English?) with at least the opportunity to feel that they are still walking in the wider world.

    Additionally, SM is an avenue by which emotional (and sometimes tangible) support can quickly be extended to those in crisis. This allows the efficient exercise of the Christian principles by which many of us claim to live.

    Whether we are comfortable with that implicit requirement, or whether we are not.

  • http://isitfunnyorappendicitis@wordpress.com nan kilmer baker

    If you ask me,and no one has,the word PRIVACY is archaic and should be removed from the dictionary. I admit, I’ve taken the time to compose a spoof Linked In page for myself– just for fun. Although my “classified” job listed is for real, I am not allowed to reveal my work or I’d have to become a killer. I especially enjoy the recomendations people display, many presumably composed themselves or by generous friends. Employers really hire based on this information? I proudly tell the world I am NOT and NEVER will share myself or anyone I know on facebook. But TWITTER is fun!

  • http://www.sally-apokedak.com/index.htm sally apokedak

    When I was agented, I used to notice when my agent was traveling to conferences or going on vacation when I wanted her to be sending my proposal out to publishers. But I didn’t get angry about it. I just prayed for her, that she’d come back safely and fast and get to work on my stuff. :)

    Seriously, if we’d all pray for our agents or our clients more, thanking God that we saw them on facebook and were reminded to pray, the world would be a better place, I think.

    I’m transparent on Facebook and my blog. Anyone who knows me well, knows my online persona is the real me.

    I’ve had people get mad at me, because I’m rather opinionated.

    But that’s what writers have to do, I think. They have to express their opinions. Some people will love them, and some will hate them. This is how we gather an audience, right? We say what we believe, and like-minded people gather around us.

    And, Jennifer, give me a break. You’re only a couple of years younger than I am. You not only remember rotary phones. You also remember party-lines. Or you had your head buried in the sand. :) But PJ…he looks so young. Especially in the nekked pictures his mother put online. :)

  • http://www.gaellynch@blogspot.com Gael Lynch

    Seems like you and Mary Cole on on a similar wavelength today! About six months ago, I began yet another revision on a book I’ve benn writing for about two years now. I had to take stock. Kent Brown actually told me to “quit all the blogging” when I was at Chautauqua two summers ago. “it’s too much of a distraction,” he said. Although I didn’t listen right away, his voice stayed in my mind! Writing requires focus and sustained energy. My novel deserves that and more. Thanks for this post, Rachelle! I need to keep my priorities straight!!

  • http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

    Well.

    I’ve been reading the posts, and replying to them today. A lot! :)

    And I’ve had a total change of heart. I thought of FB as largely a medium for self-indulgent, self-aggrandizing ‘ads’…I’ve thought of Twitter as a way to give far too much detail as to what’s happening right now…and of blogs are a good way to learn about writing and publishing, but certainly not the creation and growth of a community.

    No more. At the risk of being personal, Social Media’s been a lifeline for me, and I see that now. I’m very ill (at least I have something in common with Patrick Swayze!), and today has been rougher than most. Being able to read the comments posted here has kept me interested, and alert. (That’s not a plea for sympathy. It’s just, what is.)

    And I’ve been checking my email…seeing that there are replies to what I’ve written is a thrill, and gives a feeling of warmth and connection that, frankly, I need.

    So I guess I’m an object lesson as to the value of this virtual community. I was trained to toughness, self-reliance, and bind your own wounds so you can keep fighting. But I hope that it’s okay that I say this -

    Thank you all for being here. We’ll likely never meet, but I value the sound of your voices, and if I may, I count you among my friends, and comrades on a hard road.

    (And I devoted my post to this subject on my blog, Blessed Are the Pure of Heart on blogger.com)

    • http://talesfromtheredhead@blogspot.com Jennifer Major

      Some of us would count it a honor to meet you, Andrew.

      • http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

        Thank you! I wish sometimes that my situation were different, but then I remember Gandalf -

        So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.

    • http://isitfunnyorappendicitis@wordpress.com nan kilmer baker

      I’d be proud and honored to be considered your “cyber friend, Andrew. May today be a good onefor you. Hang in there, pal.

      • http://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com Andrew Budek-Schmeisser

        Thank you so much, Nan. I’m still in this fight.

        But not alone, thank God. Not alone.

  • http://kristinlaughtin.blogspot.com Kristin Laughtin

    I definitely felt this way a few years ago, when overly suspicious people could criticize you for making a Facebook post when you were supposed to be out of town for a few days without access to a computer. Now, though, I feel that is lessening a bit, as more people get smart phones and similar devices that allow connectivity from almost anywhere on the globe. Vacations don’t necessarily mean a break from the Internet anymore. Heck, I’ve had friends update Facebook and Twitter with the same regularity on their honeymoons, which seems to me to kind of defeat the point of going away to be with just your spouse, but the issue of constant connectedness is a bit of a different one entirely.

    In relation to writing, I have seen authors criticized for Tweeting, blogging, etc., when they were supposed to be writing because the fans were waiting for the next book, dang it. It seems to come down on them worse if they post that they did something unrelated to writing, especially if that activity was leisurely. That’s a privacy issue every individual has to grapple with. Anything you post is open for criticism. If you don’t want to deal with that possibility, you don’t post about non-writing things where your fans can see them. Just like if you want a professional job, you don’t make your profile picture one of you doing a keg stand. You have to control the image you put forth.

    Fair? Definitely not, in some circumstances. But it’s life.

    Anyone tracking how much time you spend online can back off, though. Tweets send less than thirty seconds to send. They’re just not good indicators of how I’m wasting my time. I often leave Facebook or an instant messenger open and don’t bother with away messages. If someone didn’t know me personally, that alone would make it look like I was spending way more time at the computer than I am. But even if I were sitting there the whole time, that’s my business. I could be goofing around on Facebook, or I could just have them open in the background while I pound out a thousand words of my book.

  • http://www.rebeccasnotepad.wordpress.com R’becca Groff

    Once again, Rachelle, you nailed it. It was only last week that one of my Facebook “friends” offered up a snide remark because I’d posted a writing graphic talking about not piddling away valuable time “out here” when there was a novel that needed work.

    And I thought to myself: “I’m a big girl–I really do not appreciate my “friends” condescending to me in public.

    It was waaaay too presumptuous on her part, but—I own that I come out to the social sites, and that I need to handle whatever comes as a result of them, too.

  • Rachael

    I think the problem is less over-exposure on the part of agents/editors/authors and more entitlement in the part of people who respond negatively.

    It doesn’t bother me that authors take time away from writing to network. No one can spend ALL of their time writing and social media is an important part of an actively networking author.

    People need to remember that agents/editors/authors are people too and should be trusted to prioritize their OWN time.

  • http://www.pfsltd.com/newnovelist/ Andrew Man

    I’ve been following Rachelle’s blog for months but never thought the need to reply until now?

    Wow, over a hundred replies about facebook, LinkedIn and other SM, but no hint about how to use it to research or sell your book! This is not my real name, I have a fake LinkedIn ID, because its all little more than a parallel world, so use it as such! However if used intelligently, SM is a great way to get new ideas and characters for your next book.
    Writing involves seeing the world from other people’s POV and there’s a lot of that on twitter! The failings of characters in your novel can be just like the bankers and piliticians in the real world today and its all online and free of charge!
    The great writers of the 20th century were immersed in esototic thought, while materialistic events today are caused more by the dark side. Continue to chat away on FB, because thats all it is just chat – there’s a lot more out there if you look carefully?

    P.S Sorry I don’t do Face Book?

  • http://showknowgrow.com Melinda Viergever Inman

    Social media is one of those things with which I have a love/hate relationship. It’s necessary in our technologically savvy culture; but it also exposes me publicly, robs me of my quiet peace for contemplation, and allows me to put my foot in my mouth before a much larger audience. I must approach it with caution.

  • http://candacegauger.wordpress.com Candace Gauger

    To be honest, I think social media to be overwhelming in many aspects; especially if you’re more introverted than extroverted socially. While I do love my blogs, Facebook, MySpace, and other social sites, I find saying anything about my day difficult unless it is something that just can’t be kept to myself such as my son making progress in his own social standing. With his ADHD and speech troubles, these are big steps for him. Or, if I find a new review on my own book while searching the web. Other than those rare instances, I keep quiet and lurk and comment only to those who I know on a more personal level like family. But, I am the first person to point out a new piece of artwork I’ve done and try to get as many people as possible to look, too.

    There is too much anonymity on the net to believe half of what is read, so being hesitant is good, but I think it also slows some of us down because of the same thing, too.

  • http://girlseeksplace.wordpress.com Brianna

    The more time I spend with social media, the more I feel like I’m baring too much for the world to see. I’ve really tried to cut back on my online time and focus more on writing. I will definitely be restricting that time even more in the fall, once the craziness of my summer camp job is done.

  • Pingback: WRITING ON THE ETHER: Silly Season | Jane Friedman

  • Pingback: Friday Features #13 | Yesenia Vargas

  • http://www.thehahnhuntinglodge.com Nikole Hahn

    First, we should use our real names or be anonymous (no pseudonym)because like it or not with only a little bit of information someone can find your address online through public search. Second, we should manage our time with social networking, but be careful we don’t try to earn people’s approval. Someone is always going to hate something we do. :o ) I speak bravely though from a mere blogger and writers standpoint, not a published novelist standpoint. Perhaps I’d have a different viewpoint on the latter half of my statement if I were published. LOL.

  • Ursula Jordaan

    What happened to the days of having pen pals???

    Do we REALLY need all this technology?

  • http://authoru.org Judith Briles

    Social media has its pros and cons but the thing is, we should always be careful. True we may see criticisms however, we are dealing with all kinds of people possible and thus we should always be prepared. Creating a social media presence does help reach more people especially our readers but there is also a downside we must always be prepared at.

  • http://sspjut.com Shawn Spjut

    Rachelle
    I’ve had good and bad. The bad was really bad, because the person used a photo I had published on FB showing the beautiful gardens at the hotel where I was on a company work retreat. Their comment was that I had selfishly chosen to vacation rather than attend to something they thought I should have been at. Had they only made that single comment, I would have just chaulked it up to jealousy, but they decided to go viral and used it to launch an entire lynching crusade. Now I hesitate to put anything personal out there.

  • benzeknees

    I don’t think it’s my place to criticize or comment on other people’s lives because they’re taking a vacation or spending too much time on other forms of social media. Each person is different & unique, so who am I to say the editor who is blogging might not be looking after my best interests? This may be just how they clear their head between projects, so they can leave one behind & devote their full attention to the next.
    If however, I find the editor is not giving me the attention & energy I need, they may not be the editor for me & I may need to look elsewhere. You need to have a good fit when you are working with others & that should be the only consideration – how well you work together & whether they deliver on what they promise. IMHO.

  • http://Www.xfire.com/blog/lisette6/4389965/ Lucy

    I’ve been browsing online more than 2 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It is pretty worth enough for me. In my opinion, if all web owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the net will be a lot more useful than ever before.

line
Site by Author Media © Rachelle Gardner.