The Top Ten Query Mistakes
As I read through the daily deluge of queries, I often become aware of how many times I see the same mistakes over and over. Most of them are not huge errors, but when an agent sees them repeatedly, there’s no escaping the fact that they become more noticeable. So I’ve come up with a list of the most common querying blunders.
As far as I’m concerned, none of these are fatal in themselves. There is nothing on this list that makes me automatically reject someone. (Other agents have different approaches.)
But each mistake has the potential to make you seem a little bit less professional, a little bit less savvy, a little bit less serious. Worse, they can immediately brand you as someone who doesn’t pay attention to detail, or someone who doesn’t know how to write. Everything you write goes into my overall impression of your query, so it behooves you to make as few mistakes as possible.
Please note: I’m not talking about the quality or saleability of your book here. The best way to have a successful query is to write a terrific book, and convey that in the query. Your rejections will most likely NOT be based on mistakes in this list, but based on the unsuitability of your book for that agent (for any number of reasons). In this post, I’m just talking about the mechanics of the query letter itself.
Herewith, my Top Ten List of Query Mistakes:
1. Not making me feel special.
Multiple agents are listed in the “To” field of the email.
2. Not knowing or caring who I am.
Your letter is addressed “To Whom it May Concern” or “Dear Agent” or to another agent, or with no salutation at all.
3. Making me answer “no” after one sentence.
Your query begins with a rhetorical question. The problem with this is that usually my answer to your question is “no” so you’ve already lost me. Especially the “Have you ever wondered…?” questions.
4. Putting the cart before the horse.
Your query begins with “This is the first in my planned 9-book series.” Don’t do this! Pitch ONE BOOK first. Toward the end of your query, you may include a brief sentence something like, “If this book is successful, it could easily become a series.” Another getting-ahead-of-yourself mistake is talking about the awesome movie your book will make.
5. Fudging the truth.
False personalizing: Pretending you have a connection with me when you don’t. Or false referrals: Saying somebody referred you when they didn’t. It drives me crazy how many people write, “Michael Hyatt recommended you.” When what they really mean is: “I found a list of literary agents on Michael Hyatt’s website, and you were on the list.”
6. Fudging the truth, part 2.
Saying you’re a previously published author when what you really mean is that you self-published.
7. Intentionally breaking the rules.
You acknowledge that I don’t rep a certain genre or category, but you’re pitching it anyway.
8. Being stuck on yourself.
Your query is 90% about yourself, 10% about your book. I need to know about the book! Especially for fiction. For non-fiction, since platform and qualifications are so important, your query can be 60% about the book, 40% about your platform.
9. Making it obvious you’re not a good writer.
Your query is poorly written with bad grammar and punctuation, poor choice of words, lousy sentence structure, no unique voice… showing me very clearly that you can’t write.
10. Ignoring my submission guidelines.
I ask that you include the word “Query” in your subject line, and that you include a few sample pages of your manuscript, pasted into the email. I also ask that you do not include attachments or expect me to click on links. It’s not that difficult.
Bonus Query Mistake!
After receiving a rejection… you write back to ask for feedback. Sorry. If I offered feedback in the initial rejection, you’re lucky. If not, unfortunately that’s the way it goes.
And a few more just for fun:
Ridiculous word counts; failing to mention any genre at all; grandiose claims (“My book is the next Harry Potter”); telling me why you write and how you’ve been writing practically since birth rather than just telling me about the book.
Q4U: What query mistakes have you made in the past? How did you find out you were doing it wrong?
P.S. THANK YOU to all the agents who helped compiled this list on Twitter: @Janet_Reid, @ColleenLindsay, @WolfsonLiterary, @BostonBookGirl, @Agentgame, @Onyxhawke, @DaphneUn, @Hroot. (Sorry if I forgot anyone.)
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94 Responses 
If you're new to publishing, please start here: How To Get Published.
You may also want to watch this 14-minute video: Advice for New Authors.
My Twitter name is @RachelleGardner.
My passion is partnering with authors to bring worthwhile books to publication. I started this blog as a way to create a community of writers, both published and seeking publication. I write about a wide variety of topics of interest to writers, and I consider the reader comments even more important than my own posts.
Click photo for my full bio.
>timely advice. thanks for listing these things. some of us just get so darn excited we overlook the most basic stuff. God bless spell check…
>I think the mistake I make the most is telling the agents how I've been writing since I was a kid. In my head, I guess I was just trying to get across how serious I am about writing and how much I really LOVE it, even though I haven't been published, yet.
Thanks for the advice, though. Gives me a lot to think on for querying agents.
>I haven't queried yet, but I'm taking detailed notes on what to avoid, that's for sure.
"To whom it may concern" — If *I* don't read mail addressed to me that way, why in the world would an uber-busy agent??
>I just started querying the day before yesterday! Sorry, Rachelle, you're not on my list.
Personally… I have this strange urge to make up humorous and bizarre bios for myself– my most recent thought for an inappropriate recommendation was to assure the agents that I have wonderful taste in webcomics, always make cake frosting by hand, and have never, ever named a cat 'Fluffy'.
I keep this in my head for now. Someday, though, some fool will offer me a contract and have to deal with my sense of humor.
OMG! I have the same impulse all the time, but not just with query letters! I know you wrote this post over a year ago but I just discovered this blog and yours made me laugh out loud!
Thanks!
>I have only made one submission – very soon after I decided to be a writer. It was too early of course. My book wasn't worthy of publishing, but I only realised it after I got the rejection letter.
I didn't have to query, just three chapters and synopsis, though mind you in the state of utter confidence as a new, teenage writer, I wouldn't have realised how careful I had to be.
>This is valuable advice for me, thank you.
I awoke yesterday with the urge to write my query letter. It was fun trying, but I have an inkling it is going to be harder than the MS.
>I'm published, so it's a slightly different game, but I say too little about myself- less than 10%. I think I assume my list of publications speaks for itself, but maybe I'm under selling myself…
>This is an extremely useful set of guidelines Rachelle, and I will certainly paste it into my "How To Get Published" scrapbook.
Having sent no queries to date, I'll not comment on the issue of mistakes.
Thanks for putting it out.
>My query was overly long and contained too many facts about the historical background of my novel. (This was back in the snail mail days.) After I signed a contract with that agent for representation, she explained the faults inherent in the query. The saving grace? She liked the concept behind the book and the voice I had chosen for the query.
Sue Harrison
>Thanks Rachelle.I know I have made many mistakes. But on the bright side I have a few agents I can now call my friends. Agents are people too after all.
>The absolute WORST piece of advice I ever received was that the query is a business letter. But a business letter has no voice, no soul. A few examples from the Snarkives (click went the light bulb) showed me the query is a SALES letter — a totally different beast from a biz letter — with a marketing slant and an easy formula, once you know "the rules".
I stressed over writing the business letter query, but writing the sales letter query? I actually have fun with that.
>too long is probably my weakness. I get the other things.
>Regarding salutations, what's correct now? I've actually avoided, during my 56 years, using "Ms." I came of age during the era it was foisted upon us, and decided to resist. However, my lifelong rebellion has at times proved problematic.
James Scott Bell, in "The Art of War for Writers," says we should not address the agent by her entire name (Dear Rachelle Gardner), and I do understand that's awkward, although it does at least hopefully "make you feel special", ha. On the other hand, Dear Rachelle is awfully familiar for a first contact with a professional.
So are we really and finally stuck with Ms.? I've been fudging my way around this since I took my stand in the '70s. Is the fudge…gone?
>I have not sent a query out yet, but in my review groups I've learned that I have a problem focusing on the plot. I love my characters so much I give too much background and character building info.
I'm working on that.
>I'm not a hundred percent sure on this but I'm almost sure I didn't make any of the obvious mistakes you mentioned. I researched agents thoroughly and customized my letter to each agent. I ran the query through a gauntlet of fellow writers and yet my novel never made it beyond the querying stage.
I think that each author should also remember that even a perfect letter doesn't guarantee requests for partials. In my case, I needed to write a better story, plain and simple.
Yet enough fantastic post, thanks.
>sneaky typos, oh boy. I meant 'yet another fantastic post'
>I read queries and manuscripts as an "intern" for a literary agent and the thing I see in many queries is a lot of "kissing up" to agents. I don't think it makes an agent reject someone right off the bat, but I don't read a quarter of what agents read and it strikes me as silly and a waste of space after reading one or two. I roll my eyes and shake my head at the silliness sometimes.
I think if a writer has a personal connection (went to a workshop or met the agent etc) then it's fine to say 'I heard you/saw you and liked it' but the 'you seem like a nice person/smart/savvy agent seems obvious.
Would you be querying someone you thought was an idiot or inappropriate or not right for your book? I hope not.
Stick to the story.
>*blushing* I'm having horrible flashbacks to my first two queries I ever sent… neither got a response, GO FIGURE!
The first one was to a publishing house. The first half of the query was about why I wrote the book (their query suggestion was to tell them why I'm QUALIFIED to write the book, I know am intelligent enough to know that there's a difference.)
My second one was to an agent and I kinda did number five, but, well, I told them I was fudging the truth (I'm a horrible liar…)
It went something like:
"I know you only accept queries from client referrals, and I was referred to you from ____. Now, this was via her website which linked you as a resource for new writers, but still…"
My name is Krista, and I'm a former (hopefully) bad querier.
>Regarding salutations: There are differing opinions on this, but standard business protocol dictates "Dear Mr. X" or "Dear Ms. X." Many agents who blog and Twitter purposely make ourselves familiar to writers and so we don't mind "Dear [First Name]."
But here's something extremely annoying: When a writer signs their query with initials, such as "J. Smith." There's no indication of male or female, so I can't respond to "Mr." or "Ms." But I don't have a first name either, so I can't use that. I'm left with either leaving the saluation off all together, or writing "Dear J. Smith" which is of course wrong and awkward. And you can imagine how I hate being reduced to wrong and awkward.
Anyone resisting "Ms." (not to mention any names, Katy) may want to reconsider, because far more of us would strenuously object to "Mrs."
>I did the lovely rhetorical question thing! How did I learn my mistakes? By following your blog, Janet Reid's, and so many other blogs out there that have helped me – hopefully – avoid all query mistakes.
And, do people really send out a mass email including all agents in the To: line?? Seriously? I'm sorry, that just amazes me.
S
>I always think of Ms. as old? So I always queried Dear first and last name.
Whoops. I didn't realize that was awkward?
I read that list with trepidation and sure enough, I made a no-no with my first ever query. The agent requested the full, then rejected later citing it needed an editor and to be formatted correctly. *blushing* I was such a newbie. I e-mailed her back to find out what she meant.
*sigh*
I'm know I still make mistakes, but hopefully nothing that will earn me the instant rejection.
>Out of the people who fail on #6, how many do you think are intentionally fudging and how many really think they've accomplished something by self-publishing?
>I read for the short-story market, and it's similar. Although we'll overlook a mistake here and there, if they pile up, we tend to dismiss the work attached.
I don't mind "Dear Editor" letters, but I'd rather hear about your submission than about you at the onset. If we do want to publish your story, you'll have a chance to talk about yourself. I've noticed that a lot of authors use the space to tell us about themselves, thinking it makes up for a lack of publication credits. Lack of pub credits is not a big deal if your writing is engaging. So don't worry about it so much!
A big peeve with us is submitting work in the wrong format. Our submissions guidelines are pretty clear. Why make it hard for us to read your work? As our slush pile gets deeper, we're less likely to reply to your email and ask for it to be submitted properly.
And yes, the ambiguity of an initial is a bit of a concern. I always respond with a Mr. or Ms. Even if it's a submission from a 16 year old. I would like the same in return unless we've exchanged a few emails. It's only professional.
Good list, Rachel, and very helpful.
>Fantastic list.
Oh gosh, Guilty. . . I did the rhetorical question when I first started querying.
LOL.
Gosh, I was so clueless back then. But now I can look back and smile. I've learned a ton since then and pretty much refer every writer I know to this blog, so they shouldn't make that mistake if they're reading your blog, right?
LOL.
Thanks for this. I chuckled.
>I think my biggest mistake was letting my insecurity show instead of projecting confidence (not too much, but enough to wear it shows I have some) in my story. I'm changing that this time around–I believe in it!
By the way, after reading up more on the ipad yesterday I've concluded that I definitely want one–in a few years with a few more tricks and a much cheaper price.
>My biggest mistake was not tracking my queries early on. I figured out my mistake when I queried an agent who only reps nonfiction–twice. She actually wrote a note on the query letter letting me know that I'd done it a second time.
>The first query I sent, I used "Imagine if…" I shudder to think about it.
>Very solid advice – quick and to the point, broad enough to be used when querying MANY agents, not just you. It's always hard to discover each nuance an agent wants while querying, but those listed above are great general rules to give our queries the best shot possible.
Thanks!
>I haven't reached the point of querying yet, but I am so grateful for lists like this to help me steer clear of the major mistakes (although it seems like most of these should be common sense in querying, but… guess you never know).
>I think my biggest query mistake in the beginning was spending too much of the letter on myself. I recommend including only a couple of lines of bio, unless it's nonfiction or the information is relevant to what you're writing about. Leave out everything that is cute, self-deprecating, chatty, or grandiose.
In my first query letters, I also indicated whom I thought might be the audience for my novel ("women who want something more weighty than chick lit but don't read literary fiction blah blah"). I leave this part out now.
Also, I think my attempts at personalization sometimes sound stupid and forced. I've tried personal connections, college connections, dropping the name of one of their clients etc. I now leave out this part and I don't think I get any less requests for partials. But if you've heard the agent speak at a conference, read the agent's blog, or can see a good way to include a reference to a client's book (that you've read), definitely include this.
I now spend 98% of the letter trying to make my ms sound compelling and don't stress about the rest.
>Excellent list!
>I did a version of fudging the truth. I'm friends with plenty of published writers, and when I got to the querying stage I asked them for tips on approaching their agents, if they thought I ought to, etc. They replied affirmatively, so I wrote 'your client x suggested I might query you.' when client x hadn't read my work at all, just said I ought to go on and query and gave me some tips. not the same thing, but I thought I was being truthful.
>Your blog is always so informative.
I have made tons of query mistakes. In fact, I just realized that I forgot to include my contact information at the bottom of the e-mail query I sent yesterday. I hate stupid mistakes.
Thanks for another great post.
Maribeth:)
>I’m right there with Katy McKenna. I resist using Ms. generically because I was taught that Miss is for unmarried women, Mrs. is for married women and Ms. is for divorced women. The last thing I would want to do is accuse a woman of being divorced when she isn’t and if a woman isn’t proud to have taken her husband’s name, that shouldn’t be my problem.
As for mistakes I’ve made in query letters, I suppose the biggest mistake I’ve made is that I sent a letter to some agent, only to receive a response a few minutes later, “We don’t represent fiction.” When I received a similar response from the same agent the next day, I was very tempted to write back and say, “It would be nice if you would list what you represent on your website, rather than sending me multiple e-mails.” But I didn’t. I just filed it away and promptly forgot the agent’s name. So I may be getting another couple of e-mails like that in the future.
>Timothy, what you were taught is wrong. I think it was even wrong back then, but I'm not an expert on that. Even if, in some circles, "Ms." was used to refeer to a divorced woman… well, I cannot imagine anything more insulting or demeaning. WHEN was it ever respectful to bring a person's marital status, especially if it denoted a "failed" marriage, into business, or even into polite conversation?
All I know is that it's respectful to address a woman in a way that doesn't take her marital status into account, just like we do for men. In the business world, "Ms." is now the protocol. I believe it's demeaning and reinforces a double standard to use a marriage-related title in a professional capacity. Whether I'm single, married, divorced or widowed has no more relevance professionally than it does for a man.
My children address their teachers and their friends' mothers as "Mrs. So & So" but that's different. It's not a professional environment.
>In all the rejections I have received, I have not received any feedback, so I have no idea whether it is for the story or a bad query. I did get one partial. Not sure about what that tells me. I don't know which I need to improve on?? So very confusing.
>"I think if a writer has a personal connection (went to a workshop or met the agent etc) then it's fine to say 'I heard you/saw you and liked it' but the 'you seem like a nice person/smart/savvy agent seems obvious.
Would you be querying someone you thought was an idiot or inappropriate or not right for your book? I hope not."
Amy,
I think the reason people do this is there is a multitude of how to articles and books that recommend this.
I've even heard several writers say their request rate went up when they started adding a line or two about why they chose this agent to query.
I think the theory is you demonstrate you've done your homework. You know Agent X reps ABC and they are looking for whatever.
That's different, I hope, than saying, "I saw your picture in Agents and Authors Arrest Shots and loved that lampshade you had on your head. Can you tell me where to find one just like it?"
>When I first researched how to write a query, I found some silly site that recommended the rhetorical question as a good beginning. Like a sheep to the slaughter, I listened and was rejected. Since, I've retooled and omitted. So I spent a few rookie bucks but I'm learning and getting closer to publication. Thanks for the tips.
>I'm kind of torn about the mentioning much about myself. Since I've only been published in a horse racing magazine where I was a staff writer for seventeen years, I left that out. It didn't seem pertinent to writing fantasy.
In a Barbara Rogan workshop, which I recommend highly, she said I should add that because it shows I know how to work on a deadline. She also said I should add some more personal things about myself because being a lady bronc rider and running a prison ministry for six years is unique.
I asked her why that would help. Here are her thoughts. You've written a really good query letter and the agent has gotten to the bottom. However, they've been reading query letters for hours and everything is kind of running together. Then they see, "What the heck? A lady bronc rider?" This is different. This might be an interesting person to work with.
Of course, if the agent once dated a bronc rider who broke their heart, that could backfire.
I don't know. It's a two-edged sword.
>First, thank you SO MUCH for your thoughts! Very helpful, very timely. I'll be passing this on to my writer's group.
Second, I think my query letters in the past have failed to communicate the strong voices my books have. I haven't yet figured out how to overcome that, other than constantly rewriting the query. Other errors have been having a project that was too long (the last time I queried on my current WIP, it was almost 110K long. I've since cut it to the low 80Ks) and not being ready to publish. I'm hoping this next time around, I get some good feedback. I've been following your blog and others, as well as a lot of the agents you noted on Twitter, so I hope I've been learning and can take what I've learned and use it to my advantage.
>Biggest query mistake. Mentioning more than one book in the query.
The agents who accepted my suspense did so mainly because they wanted the historical I'd been researching.
The kidlit agent was unbelievable sweet and fell in love with all my children's books I mentioned. She called me to tell me she was very interested and wanted to visit with me. I thought it was a prank call from a friend and hung up on her. Luckily, she was persistent.
I just cringe at how green I was back then. Now I have mellowed to a pleasant apple green instead of avocado rind green.
>While I do my research and always address the correct person, I'm usually in a quandry over the proper form to use of Ms. Mrs. etc.
Most bio's for agents don't clarify marital status…not my business to know. But I've always been trained to open formally with a Dear Ms. or Mrs. and I have trouble with my comfort zone simply addressing a professional by their first name…
what do you think would be preferred in that case? Mrs? Ms? Full name: Dear, Jane Doe….
tricky.
Frances
>As another child of the seventies, I remember when Ms. came into being. Unlike Katy, I embraced it at 17 and have used it ever since. I never wanted to be known only as an appendage of my husband, and as Rachelle says, in terms of business my marital status is as irrelevant as that of a would-be agent.
>I must bookmark this as I hope to be at query-writing stage this summer. Thanks for the list.
>I don't think anyone would want to be referred to in regards to her marital status. It is irrelevant. So irrelevant that its even laughable to do so. Not to mention a little rude, if I do say myself. I'm unmarried, so if someone were to contact me with the Miss before my name I think I'd have to go and have a shot of something to remind myself I'm of legal drinking age…haha.
>My biggest mistake was querying before my project was ready. I'll always regret that.
>6. Fudging the truth, part 2.
Saying you're a previously published author when what you really mean is that you self-published.
So self-publishing isn't being published? Yet you also reference Michael Hyatt, whose company has an arm, Westbow, that charges authors to get their books in print. So if an author uses Westbow, they're not published? I am trying to follow the logic flow here. So you would recommend an author not use Westbow, correct?
>#2 might be a cultural issue. Where I come from, it can actually be a faux pas to address a business letter to a specific person or to a person by name.
Although I guess, in this case it's a business letter -and- a personal contact and you're only one agent and the querying person should know this… but still.
Just saying I would probably not be so bummed about "no personal salutation", to me that's normal. Especially since the social level of a query is a bit hard to determine. You all (agents) are very clear that it's a business thing, yet the whole process is rather personal, both for the author and the agent (voice, taste, peeves, personal connection).
Tricky business, queries.
>I bet I've read things like this a dozen times, in books and blogs, but I really appreciate them every time. Thanks! And I hope I'm finally getting the point about the rhetorical questions…
>Thank you for pointing out the 60/40 ratio for non-fiction writers, Rachelle. Chuckled at the bonus and the few more you threw in… just for fun.
>Bob, chillax, dude. Your conclusion doesn't logically follow from what I said.
The point is that specificity is required. There is a difference between being "published" and "self published" so we appreciate when authors are clear about this. Don't say one when you mean the other.
Also, everything I write on this blog comes in context of everything I've written before. I've blogged extensively on self-publishing and on WestBow specifically. You can find those posts by looking on the sidebar under "Find Posts on the Blog" and clicking "Self Publishing."
>I've always been of the opinion that if you don't know me well enough to call me by my first name (which means you're meeting me for the first time basically), then you don't know me well enough to know my marital status.
When I was growing up, I never called adults Mr./Mrs./Ms./Miss Whatever. I called them by their first names (except for Mom/Dad/Grandma/Grandpa). Even my aunts and uncles didn't get the Aunt/Uncle title onto that. Oddly enough, I never came across anyone who was offended by it. The only exception I made in my adult life was when I handled customer service lines, but those people were generally pissed anyway, so I didn't want to be friendly to them.
I also address query rejections and even emails to editors by their first names, and this is the first time I've questioned that practice. *lol* Of course, if they signed their email "Mr./Ms. Whatever," then that's how I would address them. Basically, if your first name is in your signature, I take it as permission to use it. When I come across the infamous "J. Smith" types, I just address it to "J.", because initials might be how they prefer to be addressed. I know I do.
>I have read many blogs similar to this and am constantly amazed that any writer would make these blunders in judgement when submitting a query. However, I feel that the agent receiving the query, if it does "pass the tests" of a well conceived one, has the obligation to the writer to offer something better than a form rejection if the query is rejected.
>This may be genre dependent, but I have read other agents thoughts who strongly recommend that you identify early in the query whether the book is intended as a part of a series or not.
I work in speculative fiction (a world that only half-jokes that "it isn't fantasy until it's a trilogy"), and you expressly do not.
Am I way off base here?
>I do completely agree that one's marital status is of no consequence whatsoever in a business correspondence, whether male or female! When I first encountered "Ms." back in the day, we were trained to use it in a business context when we were unsure whether the woman was a Miss or a Mrs. I totally realize and appreciate that Ms. is now applied to all women regardless of marital status, but I also believe there are women remaining who just don't care for its inclusion in their title, any more than they would want to be addressed as Mrs. I HAVE, because of this, addressed women as First Name Last Name, with no Ms. present, but I'll now rethink that once again.
I am SO glad Rachelle is my agent, and I can finally forego addressing her as "Dear Mrs. Brian Gardner." Ha!
Great post and conversation as always, Rachelle!
>grandiose claims…
hmmm…
I guess "My book will be the next novel to grace a garage sale table" wouldn't be good either.
Thanks for the list. I'll have to bookmark this one.
>I sent my first query when I was thirteen. It was like two and a half pages and said absolutely nothing about the book. And I sent it to FSG.
>What I find interesting is that, when originally used: Ms., Miss, and Mrs. were all interchangable and unrelated to marital status (like Mr. continues to be). This was in the 1600s or so, when spelling still had yet to be standardized, especially for abbreviations and titles. Our modern pronunciations of Mrs. as "Missus", Miss as "Miss" and Ms. as "Mizz" are later developments.
The abbreviations all stand, from an entymologically historical perspective, for the exact same word:
Mistress.
So, perhaps the most professional and uncontroversial approach is to drop the abbreviation altogether and simply address Rachelle as Mistress Gardner!
>Wow…I never knew that "Mrs." could be offensive. I thought that "Ms." was for unknown or unmarried marital status and "Mrs." was married. And that Miss was for teens and younger. I guess it's one of the things I've never really thought about.
I suppose it's sorta like being black; there are some things that offend some, but not others…because I just asked a lady here at work and she said that Mrs. doesn't offend her in a professional capacity. I'm not sure about my wife, but I'm definitely going to ask…
In the spirit of learning something new everyday, I'm glad I read the comments today…
>Thank you for this list! I know readers of my blog would be interested, so I provided a link!
>I've made the mistake of not personalizing my query's. Once I began researching agents in depth and personalizing my query's, partial requests began to pour in.
>David Jarrett, I am rendered speechless by your comment: "I feel that the agent receiving the query, if it does "pass the tests" of a well conceived one, has the obligation to the writer to offer something better than a form rejection if the query is rejected."
That's your feeling, and I can't argue with it. But I'm sorry to tell you it bears no relation to reality.
>Well, I've not had any big query mistakes since I haven't sent any out yet as this point in my writing career. But being human, I'm sure I will. Posting this list though does help me to avoid the common pitfalls when the time does come.
>Thanks for the list. I've made some of these mistakes in the past, sad to say. But I learned not to do them anymore simply by doing more research. Especially these days–there's such a wealth of information out there that at the very least, we should end up with very professional queries letters. Whether or not they're interesting is another issue.
When hearing back from queries, if a large majority are simply form rejections, does that mean the queries are either not making enough impact or that the idea is not marketable? I know many agents request the first several pages of the manuscript as well, but if the query doesn't catch the agents eye (despite being professional and in all other aspects well written), then do the agents usually even go on to read the sample pages?
>Interesting.
>Wow. Arriving late to the comment party. Think you're going to need a glass of wine tonight, Ms. Rachelle.
>Rachelle – maybe you should just implement a "rejection randomizer" so those of us you reject to magically find success faster due to the uniqueness of a response from an agent who doesn't match our work or genre!
You know like this [terms in brackets are randomly generated]:
Dear Jane Doe,
Congratulations! You didn't make ANY of the Top Ten Query Mistakes, thereby earning your own customized rejection letter!
Unfortunately, your [VHS Recording Device Patent Application] is [pedantic] and [too cutting edge] for the markets I represent. Additionally, the [grammar] structure you employ includes many [verbs] that might be considered [offensive] or, at the very least [condescnding.]
Good luck in your future endeavors.
Sincerely…
—
I believe that would go over much better than a simple and polite pass. I bet you wouldn't get any complaints then!
>I once forgot to change the Dear Agent of my query to match the person I was sending it to. I was very upset with myself. I also missed a spelling error once, even though I had proof-read it many times.
>Fantastic advice.
I admit, I have done that For Whom It May Concern thing. It was years ago, but still. I should have known better.
>I appreciate all the free advice I can get. This is great! simple and to the point. Thanks a bunch.
>Rachelle,
“Wrong” or not, that’s the way it was used in my neck of the woods and you don’t have to look far on the Internet to see that there are other areas that perceived Ms. to indicate a divorced woman. As for whether it was ever polite to bring a person’s marital status into polite conversation, all I can say is that is what this “Miss” or “Mrs” stuff is all about. Many languages make that distinction.
I can see your point about not making it an issue in business, but we could make the same argument concerning gender. And perhaps that is part of why most of the large businesses I know of have dropped it all together. I have worked for two very large corporations and what is considered proper in both is to address everyone by first name. Everyone from the folks would pick up trash to the folks with the multi-million dollar income is addressed on a first name basis. But I think the real reason is that we are all supposed to be colleagues on equal footing, working toward a common goal.
>Thank you. I'm a frequent blogger, part time magazine columnist and aspiring author who is very appreciative of the information shared by you and my good friend Michael Hyatt (OK, I only read his blog).
>Thanks, Rachelle! Do you prefer writers start with the premise or with an intro? As a freelance writer, I know how to write queries but lately agents don't even seem to respond so I second-guess myself now.
What if we do everything right but it doesn't make a difference. Seems all the writers signing contracts are YA paranormal or romance authors. Is that all that's selling these days?
>In response to why Ms. originated… I believe it was meant as a move toward equality. Men have no designation to determine if they are married or unmarried. They are all Mr., so the thought was what bearing should a woman's marital status have on her abilities to perform a job? None. So why even bring it up? Ms. is not meant as an insult or a designation of age any more than Mr. is.
Whew! Sorry for going off on a tangent. That's probably a query no-no, too.
Thanks for the list, Rachel. I see lots of advice out there on how to write a query, but sometimes it conflicts. At least a "do not attempt" list is a good starting point.
>Thank you for this. I always love reading agent blogs on the query process.
>Great list! I'm still in the process & hope to NOT make these when the time comes
>Rachelle: I found remarkable similarities between what you post here and the mistakes that folks make when applying for jobs (I was in career services for many years). I've quoted you in my blog (http://www.bookdoula.biz/blog/ – today's post entitled Single Minded) and added my observations.
Many thanks.
>I truly believe that we have reached the point where technology has become one with our society, and I am 99% certain that we have passed the point of no return in our relationship with technology.
I don't mean this in a bad way, of course! Societal concerns aside… I just hope that as technology further advances, the possibility of uploading our brains onto a digital medium becomes a true reality. It's a fantasy that I dream about almost every day.
(Posted on Nintendo DS running [url=http://kwstar88.insanejournal.com/397.html]R4[/url]NDSBro)
>I can't believe nobody commented on the funny road sign in the photo! It totally cracked me up – especially the "good luck." Seemed to be a good metaphor for the writer's road.
>I like your approachable list of query errors. If someone doesn't understand these simple steps, I don't know how else it could be explained.
Thank you
>I was on the edge of my seat while reading this post, waiting to see if I'm guilty of these mistakes. Luckily, I'm not. That's not to say my queries don't have room for improvement, they do, but it's nice to know I'm on the right track.
>I'm embarrassed to read some old queries I sent out–can't remember why, but they definitely broke some rules. I recently was tempted to express sympathy with an agent losing his cat to cancer in a query because I saw it on his Twitter feed. Caught myself in time.
>The newbie mistake I made way back when I queried a few agents was: querying before I was ready. of course, I didn't know I wasn't ready–therein lies the sting.
And once, when an agent responded with wonderful comments, I emailed back and asked a question about one of the comments and the agent became angry with me for asking-oops – so, I learned not to do that again! *smiling*
Other than that, my queries pretty much suck *laughing* but not because of those problems above -I just write bad queries – Alexandra Sokoloff taught a wonderful workshop and when she read my query, she said I had the worst query she'd ever seen in her life …she asked, "how can someone who writes such beautiful prose write such a gawd-awful query?" Beats me! Dang. *sigh*
>Thanks for compiling this list. I'll definitely use it when my current project gets to querying point.
I did copy this to my own blog, but linked back here. The link is here if you're curious.
Thanks again!
>Hmm, I can say that I haven't made any of the mistakes you've mentioned. Outside of the hook itself, I honestly don't know what mistakes I've made – which is not to say I haven't made any. I've tried to get a sense of the dos and don'ts and proceeded accordingly.
Certainly it's possible that my hooks have had issues. I stay away from questions, as you mention. First drafts of them usually were not great, but by the time I've sent them to agents, they've been seen by non-relatives whom I trust to tell me the truth. Which doesn't mean they're good of course, just that they probably don't have obvious errors.
It is certainly possible (though I don't know how probable) that I'm doing nothing wrong with my query and that either the writing isn't good enough or the books have not been sale-able.
>Thanks for the tips. It's amazing but it seems writing a query letter is much more complicated than one would imagine!
I am delighted to see you and many other literary agents share your experiences. These do benefit us. Thanks once again.
>How do you keep your cool amidst a snowdrift of unfortunate queries?
Tai Chi? Tranquilizers?
I'm thinking you must have some wonderful Happy Place to skitter off to…
Thanks for the tips!
>Our agency received 758 queries in January. There is no way we could have responded to every single one and accomplished anything else at work. That's why we can't respond individually–and also why we automatically reject queries that fail to conform to what we've asked for, clearly, on our submissions page.
>Thank you for such an excellent how-not-to-query checklist.
Query mistake: one of the first I ever sent out was all theme. It didn’t say what happened in the book.
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