Everyone Gets Rejected

>I guess at this point in our technological history, the question is not "Should I continue in the face of rejection?", but rather "Should I just move on to all these other ways which I can be a writer instead of pursuing this irritating and financially crippled industry?"

>Exactly! I'm a journalist so have seen my name in print lots of times. But I'm not a masochist so if agents keep saying NO cuz my novel isn't the latest hot trend (paranormal teen thriller), then I'll contact editors directly. Then there's always the Kindle route–sad but true. Why let agents control our lives and futures?

>'can't not do it' best line ever… theme of my life where writing is involved.

… says the girl who just stayed up until three-something writing and is now trying to hit a vein for the coffee I.V. so she knows what end of the horse to put the saddle on when she gets to work in a half-hour…

>For me, the whole process is very similar to asking a girl on a first date. And I'm not talking about just any girl, but one from a upperclass, all-girl, catholic school. These girls don't say yes to just anyone, they have reputations to think about. But they're the only game in town, so if you want to go out dancing on a Friday night you'd better be ready to endure plenty of uncomfortable moments until you find the one that takes a shine to you.

Your an awesome dancer, funny, smart, a good listener, and serious about finding that one special partner. You can't understand why ALL the girls wouldn't want to go out with you, but one after another they answer NO THANKS. You start to wonder if theres something wrong with you. Do you have body odor? Maybe its the complexion? Then you blame your lack of dating success on the girls themselves. Stuck-up bitches!

All the while a fear grows in the back of your mind, poisoning any confidence you might muster. Maybe, just maybe, I'm meant to be alone?

I don't fear being rejected by any particular agent. Rather, I fear being rejected from the profession.

>I have heard that Stephen King got enough rejection letters that he had to use a railroad tie to nail them to the wall. I don't know if the story is true or hyperbole or just plain false, but even the big names got rejected at some point.

I received my first rejection letter a little over a year ago. It was my fault. I broke all the rules (not having known them). For that matter, my book was not even finished! It still isn't if I want to be truthful. Perhaps it is because making it, being published is my end goal for my writing but not my career, but I loved getting that letter. It meant someone had to read my work and say no. Someone at least semi-professional said something about something I had written. It was a wonderful experience. One I'm glad to have in case I never submit a book for publishing again.

>Thanks for posting this again, Rachelle. It's one of my favorites. Hits home bigtime.

>Most of us who write, whether published or not, have experienced rejection and often continue to do so at times throughout our writing careers; it can feel very wearying sometimes, so it's refreshing to read about it from another aspect. I know from experience that what you say is very true, so thank you for sharing it.

>Thank you for pointing out that its not only writers that have to deal with rejection.

>Thanks Rachelle. The sting of rejection lasts only a moment, but my desire to write eclipses all that pain.

>So much further potential for rejection which will be mostly out of my control. This post did not make me feel better.

I think rejection stings a little bit extra when the project is a memoir, because it's not just my writing, but my life that's being judged. However, I was particularly comforted the time a publisher told me that my story wasn't unique enough.

>Lissa – that's so terrible, it almost funny! I hope you didn't listen to him – it's utter nonsense. Everyone's story is unique.

Arrgghhh. Why would someone say that to an author about their memoir? Rejection is one thing; people who are callous or harsh or even cruel in their rejections is something else altogether. Blech.

>Thanks. It's true about everyone in the chain feeling the rejection sting. (And also the sting of having to reject. I finally met my editor and publicist together for lunch this spring, and they are a great team, but Cary, the publicist took great delight in saying that his job was so much more pleasant because his role was to say yes to everyone, and Jon's job as editor was to say no to almost everyone. No fun.)

One of the best things for me about finally selling a book was not having to worry about magazine editors saying no no no for a couple years. It was a welcome break.

The other nice thing about writing is that the longer I've stayed at it and the better I've gotten, I still get a ton of rejections (eg, the NY Times op-ed page nearly always says no), but the ratio is much better. And now sometimes they come to me. What a relief that is.

I've also found that working with great editors pays off because they tend to get promoted. Having friends in high places often means having worked with them when they were in low places. It just takes ten years.

It does improve.

>They you go Mira, getting into another debate =)lol

I was just going to comment on the "is it worth it part"–for me, it is, but I have to be careful as to how much of my life I devote to writing. It's a hard balance to maintain. When you want something so bad, it's difficult to be rational. I guess that's my New Year's resolution–finding my balance.

>I'm waiting for your rejection as we speak.

>Since I'm not looking to write as a career, I think I might do okay with the rejection. As another commenter said, it means that at least my work was complete enough to get to the rejection stage. Heck, I'm going to throw a party when I FINISH my novel!

>Thanks for this post. As long as I can't NOT write, I will accept the fact that rejection is part of the process.

Blessings,
Sandy

>Sometimes I forget that acquiring an agent is only the first step in the publication process.

Rejection is not a happy occurrance. It's a part of the process. But as an aspiring author, hearing the soothing words: Thanks, but I don't feel I'm the best agent for this work, can be devastating. Especially since I, as an author, don't put a mere couple hours into researching the agent of query. I personally spend months getting to know the agent. So much time is spent on cultivating the agent I take the "rejection" as a personal rejection.

Silly, I know. Especially since, as I've said, I devote a lot of energy to an agent that will possibly only spend 30 seconds reading my query. Eh, life is a gamble. Things work out or they don't. (No, I haven't queried because I don't think you'll represent what I write.)

I follow (or rather Lurk in) your blog because you have useful, insider information and you seem to enjoy interracting with aspiring authors.

I just wanted to take this year-end opportunity to say thanks for being willing to give honest, essential information about the publishing/agenting world, and to say I appreciate your posts. Even when I don't comment.

And also, I really like this particular post, because it speaks to the wannabe in all of us. It lets me (as a aspiring writer) know that the "buck" doesn't stop at acquiring an agent, or excited editor of a publishing house, or even at gaining the approval of an entire network of hopeful individuals at the publishing house level.

The public, after all, is the ultimate approval source of a novel. So; happy new years to you Rachel, and thanks for being an integral part of the process.

……….dhole

>It's like the Mary Chapin Carpenter song: "Sometimes Your The Windshield, Sometimes Your The Bug."

And yes, my book is about to launch, and I think it was worth the ride.

>You are totaly right I felt that and know how it feels…but there is a moment when everything turns around if you continue working on your goal.

kobe beef

>We just have some kind of creepy attraction to agony.