For Those Who Walk Beside Us

home title Posted on Sep 15th, 2009 | 94 comments home title

Today’s my 13th wedding anniversary. I know, it doesn’t have anything to do with writing or publishing, but it does make me think how fortunate I am to have this incredible partner who puts up with the peculiar idiosyncrasies of a life devoted to writing and publishing.

So, for all the hours I’ve spent at my computer instead of with my family…

For all the times I’ve said “Hon, let me read you this line!”…

For the bookshelves taking up increasing amounts of household real estate each year, and the books piled on the nightstand and coffee tables and stacked in dusty corners…

For the doorbell ringing darn near every day and it’s UPS with a package from Amazon…

For all the times I’ve said “I’ll be up in two minutes” but stayed at my desk for two more hours…

For every blog post I’ve written while my family watches Harry Potter and wonders if I’m ever going to join them…

For all the times I’ve talked about my Twitter friends and Facebook friends and blogging friends and my husband showed remarkable restraint in not mocking me…

For the times dinner was late, or dinner was Spaghetti-O’s, or I’ve forgotten to cook dinner altogether…

For the client phone calls in the car on the way to the movies or headed out of town on vacation…

For the nights out to book club and the trips to writers conferences all over the country…

I just want to say…

Bummer for you, dude. THANK YOU for sticking with me through this perilous publishing journey. (And happy anniversary, sweetheart.)

Is there anyone you need to thank today? For putting up with your crazy antics, all for the love of books? Go tell them!


This is the Wayfarer’s Chapel in Palos Verdes, California, where we got married 13 years ago. Below are a couple of views of the grounds of the chapel, which overlooks the Pacific Ocean.


And this, of course, is the love of my life.

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  • L.H. Parker

    >*Sniff!* Beautiful!

    I'm just a writer/aspiring author, but I can totally relate–and I've only been married for 3 years.

    Congrats! And Happy 13th Anniversary!

  • Megan

    >that was lovely!

    hilarious too!

    Congrats to both of you!

  • Patty

    >My husband, if he were a writer, could write the book on sacrifice.

    Any time I mention I want to go to a conference, he makes it happen, even if it means working weekends to earn the extra cash. I complained about my cranky old computer and he did a couple of side jobs so he could surprise me with a new one for my birthday. He says it makes him happy to give toward something that shapes who I am and who I will become.

    I say that means more to me than any gift he could buy.

  • T. Anne

    >Rachelle, ~*hApPy aNnIvErSaRy*~ Enjoy your special day!

  • Rissa Watkins

    >What an amazing place to get married.

    Happy Anniversary. I love how his pic ended up lining up right next to yours on the blog. You make a beautiful couple.

  • Laura Martone

    >This is a wonderful post, Rachelle – heartfelt and funny and even true in my life. I've been with my hubby for over a decade now, and I still can't believe what he puts up with when it comes to my writing/editing/blogging frenzies.

    Happy Anniversary to you and the hubby! May you have many more happy years together…

    P.S. I love the Wayfarers Chapel… what an absolutely gorgeous place to get married. I'm afraid I settled for Vegas. :-)

  • vicariousrising

    >Congratulations and happy anniversary! Thank you for sharing your celebration of your husband and marriage and the lovely pictures.

    It will also be 13 years for me and my husband this March. He's had to put up with some similar off-beat behavior from me as the creative side of our union. If your husband is like mine, yours is likely still pretty pleased with his lot. A partner who loves what she does is a good mate.

    I wish you both many happy years to come and a wonderful day!

  • Alice

    >I think all of us writer types need to write a thank you like this! I can SO relate :-) Happy Anniversary – make you have many more!

  • Gwen Stewart–Singer-Scribe

    >This brought tears to my eyes.

    Happy Anniversary, Brian and Rachelle. Thirteen happy years of marriage is worthy of celebration!

    And many thanks to both of you: thank you, Rachelle, for taking the time. Thank you, Brian, for the times that call from the computer was because of me.

    God bless you both richly today with quiet moments, happy memories, and a bright anticipation of your future!

  • Jill

    >Happy anniversary! I hope you both enjoy the day. That is a beautiful place to get married!

  • Lisa Jordan

    >"Bummer for you, dude." Okay, that completely cracked me up!!

    Happy anniversary, Rachelle. A birthday and anniversary in the same month…great for presents.:)

    Hubby and I will celebrate the big 2-0 next month. He's one of my biggest cheerleaders even though he doesn't read my work. He helps me brainstorm with anything police-related & tells me what a guy would think or say in a situation.

  • Kelly Combs

    >Happy Anniversary! What a BEAUTIFUL setting! Wow.

    I always tell my husband "listen to this line!" too. When something speaks to us, it's fun to share it.

    I loved this post. Posts like these make you my "blogging friend," rather than that agent lady on blogger. :-)

  • Krista Phillips

    >How sweet! Happy Anniversary!

    Hubby and I will celebrate TEN years in October. I'm SO SO thankful for him and for putting up with my craziness:-) And a huge thanks to my kiddos for putting up with a mommy who sometimes has no clue that they are standing beside me saying… " Mommy, MOmmy, MOMMY!" and who are so patient with me… okay, they aren't patient but who are, um, they put up with me, let's just put it that way!

    That chapel is GORGEOUS btw! What a view!

  • CKHB

    >Awwww! Happy anniversary!

  • Corinne

    >Happy Anniversary! Love this post, the honesty! And what a beautiful place to get married.

  • Levi S

    >Happy Anniversary!

  • Samantha Elliott

    >Congrats! I hope you're able to celebrate many, many more happy milestones!

  • inthedailies

    >WOW! What a gorgeous place to get married!! And CONGRATULATIONS! :) this is a great post, a wonderful tribute to your relationship.

  • Wendy @ All in a Day’s Thought

    >Everything about that post was moving, the way you thanked your husband for things I can very much relate to, the way you posted a picture of the beautiful chapel, and the way you honored your husband!

    Congratulations. My husband and I just celebrated 10 and we're going to U2 this weekend to celebrate. I've wanted to see them in concert for almost 20 years.
    Happy Anniversary.
    ~ Wendy

  • Richard Mabry

    >Oh, how beautiful and how timely. Yesterday was the tenth anniversary of the evening when my loving wife and constant companion of 40 years, Cynthia, had a sudden stroke that sent her into a terminal coma. Her death was the impetus for my writing, and when God blessed me yet again with the love of a wonderful woman, Kay became my encourager, my first reader, and my loving critic. I continue to thank her for being there for me.

    Then there was the day six years ago when I met with this editor at my first writers' conference. She asked for proposals for my work, but didn't accept them. Then, five years later, she became my agent, my tutor, my encourager, and my friend. Thank you, Rachelle.

  • Judith Mercado

    >It had everything to do with writing and publishing. Thank you for saying so well what so many of us already live. This post is definitely being emailed to my husband.

  • Jim Marr

    >Like Richard, my writing was born out of the loss of the woman who walked beside me for 30 years. She supported me in many things as my best friend and the love of my life. Thank you Melissa!

  • ~Aimee States

    >Happy Anniversary to you both!

  • Scott

    >Congrats and Happy Anniversary!

  • Stina Rose

    >Congratulations! Happy Anniversary!!!

  • Marla Taviano

    >I love this post like crazy!! ALL of it!

    Happy Anniversary, Brian and Rachelle!!

  • Donna M. Kohlstrom

    >Congrats on your anniversary and on the incredible, wonderful husband and family you have!

    God is awesome in His provision.

    First I had my mom who inspired me and introduced me to the joy of reading and writing. Then she went to be with the Lord.

    Then there was my soul mate husband, who knew nothing about reading and writing, but who encouraged and supported me and then went home to be with the Lord.

    When chronic illness and grief overwhelmed my life, God sent me another special, loving and devoted husband. He has made it possible for me to write full time, had the patience to listen to hours of me rambling on about writing and be an encourager along the way.

    And the additional and wonderful blessings are my writer friends who I couldn't write without them!

  • Catherine West

    >AW. That just made me laugh and cry. Here's to many more wonderful years together. 13 years surely deserves a trip to Bermuda, don't you think?! We're celebrating 25 in June! Maybe we'll come to Colorado. Ha.
    Enjoy the day and Happy Anniversary to you both!

  • Holly Bodger

    >Happy Anniversary, and thanks to Brian for allowing you to skip Harry Potter so you can write this blog. Oh, and thanks to my husband for letting me skip Harry Potter so I can read it!

  • Lori

    >Happy Anniversary! What a great gift you've given your husband – you've noticed and said thank-you!

  • Lea Ann McCombs

    >Happy Anniversary, Rachelle and Brian. Try to celebrate at some point without doing anything publishing-related!

  • Melanie Avila

    >Aww, happy anniversary! The setting is beautiful!

  • Melanie Dickerson

    >Happy Anniversary!

    It's been 13 years for me, too. My husband even reads my books and tells me how good they are–even though they're romances.

    I guess he must love me.

  • lynnrush

    >Yeah! I love posts like this because marriage rocks. I just celebrated 13 years with the love of my life in August. May God continue to bless your marriage, Rachelle.

    Looking forward to seeing you in Denver at ACFW this week.

  • Matilda McCloud

    >Happy Anniversary!

    I would like to say thank you to my husband of 25+ years who puts up with my writing stuff. I spend a year talking about Neanderthals? He never questions it, and in fact, will send me the latest news articles about them. (My sons are amazingly tolerant too!)

    By the way, I went to the Wayfarers Chapel years ago–what a beautiful place to get married.

  • Tamara Hart Heiner

    >what a beautiful post! Happy anniversary!

  • Tami Boesiger

    >Congratulations and Happy Anniversary, Rachelle.

    (And hey, maybe it's okay to take tonight off.)

  • Marybeth Poppins

    >Congrats! My anniversary was LAST Tuesday :) Happy Anniversary!!!

  • Mark H.

    >Happy anniversary!

  • Steph Infection

    >Happy Anniversary!

  • Nicole O’Dell

    >Happy Anniversary! What a beautiful site for a wedding!

    Congratulations!

  • Rachel Starr Thomson

    >Happy anniversary! Gorgeous pictures (is there an echo in here?).

    I am not married; I live at home with eleven younger siblings and parents who just celebrated their 28th anniversary. My dad is all things creative, including a writer, and my mother is everything I hope to be if I ever have to put up with so much :) . My family and close friends, meanwhile, are amazingly gracious in putting up with me.

  • Kristen Torres-Toro

    >Congratulations!!!! Have a great anniversary, Rachelle!

  • yarnbuck

    >Congrats on a more-than-lucky 13.

    The Pen may trump the Sword, but the Ring . . . welded at the Cross, seals a Holy State.

  • Cheryl Barker

    >Hope you and your hubby have a happy anniversary, Rachelle!

  • Cindy

    >Happy Anniversary! Those pictures are beautiful. My anniversary is tomorrow–we're celebrating 9 years. We're going to get some time away from the kids this weekend. I hope you and your hubby get a chance to relax and take the night off!

  • Teri D. Smith

    >Many blessings on your anniversary! There's nothing like a supportive husband.

  • Nita

    >Thanks for this excellent post, the pix of the chapel, and your ever-present sense of gratitude. Very refreshing. Hubby and I visited that chapel last year. What a beautiful place to be married. Happy Anniversary!!!

  • Cole Gibsen

    >Happy anniversary, Rachelle!

    And let me just say – Hello Hottie! You got a keeper there :)

  • Lydia Sharp

    >Love the post. Love the pics. Happy anniversary!

    I'd like to say "ditto all that" to my wonderful husband of ten years, Joe Sharp. Thanks for being my partner in everything.

  • Breen Berger

    >Congrats on 13 years and to think we've known you for most of those years. Missing you my coffee fiend former neighbor friend. If you get out to the DC area please come visit! will email/post on fb new info as we get it. Congrats again – and love to all of you!
    Breen

  • Sharon A. Lavy

    >Congratulations on your 13th anniversary. He does look like a keeper!

  • Eric von Mizener

    >Congratulations, Rachelle and Brian. God grant you many years!

    I recently posted about Carol's and my anniversary. It includes the poem I wrote and included on our wedding invitations. And, though it's her poem, I don't think she'll mind me sharing it with you two. God bless.

    The Physics of Eternity
    by Eric von Mizener

    Eternity is not a straight line
    As we so often choose to perceive it.
    No.
    It stretches out from us
    At three hundred sixty degrees.
    Further, eternity is not time, or a time,
    For time has a beginning and an end.

    Rather,
    It is a flavor.
    It begins at the lips and proceeds outward
    In all directions forever.

    If it has a shape,
    As we think the physical universe has a shape,
    I do not know.
    I did not look.

    My attention was on the flavor,
    The sensation,
    And the lady by whose lips
    The taste of eternity was found.

  • Brooke Comer

    >Hey, it's (my husband's and my) anniversary, too! Nine years here. Our steps might be slightly out of sync at times, ;) but I'm so glad it's he who walks beside me. God is good! :) Hope yours is happy and memorable.

  • Roxane B. Salonen

    >Rachelle, congrats on 13 years, and thanks so much for sharing the moment with us. Oh, how I could relate to your admissions! I guess in that way, writers/authors are not all that different from writers/agents. We're all word folks, after all, and those words fuel our daily lives. But…sometimes, only real-life interaction will do. Enjoy the day!

  • katieleigh

    >What a gorgeous post! Happy anniversary!

  • Novice Writer Anonymous

    >Happy Anniversary! May it be a bright and happy day in which you both may revel.

  • Susan Helene Gottfried

    >Happy anniversary, Rachelle! Here's to many, many more. And good health for all of them, too.

  • Camille Cannon Eide

    >All I can say is Rachelle, you totally scored. Good job! And besides being a firefighter, he's a bassist, so extra points in the cool column.

    26 years ago, I scored a handsome, self-sacrificing, fiercely devoted, godly-wise husband and father whose presence in my life has been a spiritual anchor and gave me the kind of stability and balance through the years that a girl from my broken, messed up childhood needed. (I like to think I scored him, but he was a gift, actually. I'm glad God knows what he's doing.)

    From one blessed woman to another – Happy Anniversary!

  • Rachel

    >Happy Anniversary!! Your commitment to your family is obvious. Always an encouragment. Have a fun, fun day.

  • Christine

    >Happy Anniversary!!

  • Tea With Tiffany

    >Will my tear ducts ever dry out? Your last line touched my heart.

    Happy Anniversary.

    Ours was the 3rd. 18 years. :)

  • Kim Kasch

    >HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

    The years come and go so very fast
    But it looks like this is gonna last

    Here's to the Best that's yet to be
    Standing side-by-side: you and he

  • Keli Gwyn

    >Happy Anniversary!

  • Lynnda – Passionate for the Glory of God

    >Good morning, Rachelle.

    What a special day! How easily we forget to thank the people who support us on this journey, and the sacrifices they make in love.

    Thank you for sharing this occasion with us and for reminding us that we are never on this journey alone.

    Be blessed,

    Lynnda

  • Martha Ramirez

    >Aw how sweet, Rachel! Happy anniversary! Yeah being married to an agent or writer can be VERY tough. Gotta love 'em for hangning in there. :) BTW youtwo make a great couple…enjoy your day.

  • Jessica

    >Wow, what a sweet post! *sniffle*

    Happy Anniversary! :-)

  • Rachel Rossano

    >Happy Anniversary!

  • Dara

    >Aww :)

    Happy anniversary!

  • Merc

    >:D Happy anniversary!

  • Lenore Buth at www.awomansview.typepad.com

    >Thanks for a beautiful post. You perfectly describe what it means to live with a marriage partner who writes. Every one of us writers with a loving, supportive spouse lives a life that's blessed.

    Rachelle, I wish you and your husband the same and many more years to grow together. Happy Anniversary!

  • Angie Ledbetter

    >Congrats on your anniversary, and the blessing of a true partner to share the journey. I just had my 25th a few months ago. :)

  • Jody Hedlund

    >Birthday and Anniversary in a week's time?! I'd say that deserves a really big present! Or night out or something! Hope you can find the time to enjoy some time of rest!

  • Julie Gillies

    >Happy Anniversary, Rachelle!Gorgeous church. Stunning setting.

    My hubby supports my crazy writing lifestyle, too. We just celebrated our 22nd in July.

  • Catherine M

    >What a fabulous post! My husband and I celebrated our 13th this past May. Seems like we've been married forever – in a good way. And without his support, my first novel would still be a twinkle in my eye – or rather, voices in my head! Congratulations!!

  • Reesha

    >Wow. Those pictures are gorgeous! Congratulations on your anniversary!

  • Katie Ganshert

    >Happy anniversary!!!!!

  • Susan Meissner

    >I loved that.

    And this:
    "For the doorbell ringing darn near every day and it's UPS with a package from Amazon…"
    Those are the best days. . .

    Happy anniversary!
    Sooz

  • Mariana

    >Sweet post. And happy aniversary! :-)

  • Jungle Mom

    >What a great guy and what a lovely place for a wedding!
    Congratulations on your anniversary.

  • Donna Gambale

    >Congratulations! Those pictures are gorgeous, and it's so sweet to thank your husband like this. Heck, I appreciate him for being so awesome and supportive!

  • Cassandra

    >Happy anniversary!!

  • Kristie

    >I feel a special kinship with you today because I too have been married to a loving, patient, fun, wonderfully sexy man for thirteen years. Are we blessed or what? Unlike you, however, our vows were not in exchanged in such a majestic setting. Breathtaking, Rachelle! And I'm sure you were too.

  • Yamile

    >How touching. Thanks for sharing this with us. I've been married for 10 years, and I was nodding my head in assent as I read each of the things you're thankful for. But it's to my kids whom I have to thank the most. They inspire me every day, and they respect my need to write, and read, and still be myself, and not only mom.
    Congratulations on your anniversary and may you celebrate many more!

  • Andrew

    >Thank you for the lovely, inspiring post. I hope that the Man continues to bless you both.

    I was going to write a short ode to my wife. However…we just got back from the ER. She held my hand for seven hours until the morphine took effect.

    Barbara married me knowing I was seriously ill, and remarried me knowing I was worse. She has dealt with ER nights and last rites, near death experiences and me insisting on teaching when I can barely stand. She's dealt with combat flashbacks and with her husband leaping into a rack of dresses in WalMart when someone dropped a box.

    Barbara lives with me and twenty dogs on a mesa in New Mexico, a thousand miles from her family and friends. She gave up all that, and her career.

    She's still here.

    She is the reason I am alive.

    Not an ode. A love letter.

  • Pam Halter

    >Hear! Hear! I couldn't do what I do without the support of my DH.

    Congrats on 13 years in a world where marriage often only lasts 13 hours.

  • Meryl K. Evans

    >Aww, lovely! Mazel tov! I can relate to a lot of what you said. We need to hear more stories like these even if it has nothing to do with our expertise.

    That's a beautiful chapel.

    My husband of 20 years and I make an effort to thank each other for things we do even if it's making the bed or putting away the dishes.

  • lynnmosher

    >Oh, Rachelle! What an absolutely beautiful place to be married! The chapel and grounds are awesome! Happy anniversary to you and your sweetie! It is wonderful to have the support of one's mate! I couldn't do without mine! May you have many more years together. (A couple of months ago, hubs and I celebrated our 43rd!) Blessings to you!

  • MaryAnn Diorio, Ph.D., CLC

    >Happy Anniversary, Rachelle!

    Blessings,

    MaryAnn

  • Tara

    >Congratulations. I love hearing success stories about marriage.

  • Kerrie

    >What a beautiful post and thanks for reminding us to appreciate all the blessings in our lives.

    Happy Anniversary.

  • mr. nichols

    >Incredible post. I've only been married for four months so far, but I definitely relate. God bless you and your family.

  • D.I. Telbat

    >Congratulations!
    "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace." Num.6:24-26
    And many happy years ahead!

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