Guest Blogger: Gwen Stewart on Romance

>Rachelle and Gwen, Yes, yes, that’s it!

That’s exactly how I feel we should be writing.

I’ve read too many books where the protags were friends throughout the story, then suddenly on the last page, they kiss and become engaged. Like an afterthought.

Honestly, I don’t think that’s what God wants. I believe God has one person set aside for each of us and for that one person, we’ll feel an overflowing of passion and love that’ll blind us to all others.

Not to be confused with lust that has no blinders, and pushes love aside.

I want to write that the hero’s heart thudded when the heroine first smiled at him. Or that she quivered when he ran his fingers down her arm. That’s what God has us feel for the one person he’s made for us. And I want to include His plan in my writing.

Great blog post.

>The bible is one hot romance book. It also has intrique, adultry, murder – - all the plot biggies. Guess that is why it continues to stay one the best sellers list year after year.

Must be the great author…God.

>Thank you, Gwen. What a concise and true depiction of what Christian Romance is about.

Desire and belonging.

I write and read historical romance nearly exclusively (sorry Timothy *grin*) and you are correct about Christian writers doing a good job with building the belonging but having to walk a careful line with the desire aspect. Belonging, to me, is what gives the couple staying power. Those tingly feelings come and go, and even though they are deliciously fun to write about, it is the deeper side of desire that keeps a marriage together. (Speaking as a wife of 16 years and mother of three who knows how difficult it can be to find privacy and energy at the same time.)

Yet, the nature of romance fiction is to highlight the start of the relationship, where the physical awareness is high and the discovery of the deeper ties of belonging, love, and spiritual connection (I mean this in the literal sense not the metaphysical) is just beginning.

I will admit to sighing at a story’s first kiss and going sappy over a hero whose carefully banked passion can make a heroine’s knees go weak, but in the end, what makes the book truly satisfying is the characters’ conviction that God has brought them together not just to fulfill their physical attraction for each other, but because when they combine all that they are, they are better than they were as individuals. They are not just two people sharing a life. They have become one flesh, committed to each other and, together, committed to Christ – the cord of three strands that Eccesiastes talks about.

That is the romance that I want to show the world. Anything less is just a shadow of what was meant to be.

>Thanks Gwen for sharing this.

My husband and I just celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary. [When we married, I was 38, which is an important point of reference for what I’m about to share!]. I still experience tingly feelings when he holds me, and I don’t need translations for certain looks from across the proverbial crowded room. When he looks at me that way, nothing else matters. And if Ken has the capacity to love me that way, I’m not even sure I can wrap my brain around how God looks at me.

My husband volunteering to wash dishes or driving out of his way to bring home Blue Bell ice cream can be quite sexy because I appreciate the sacrifice of time and the willingness to do something special for someone you love. And when two people have faced life’s challenges together, with consequences both tragic and grand, there’s a profound spiritual, emotional, and physical connection.

I want couples to know that intimacy doesn’t start in the bedroom; it reveals itself there. And, as a Christian writer, I hope to express through a couple’s desire for one another—after one year, ten years, fifty years—God’s sweet desire for us.

>Beautifully stated! Like I’ve said before, this is why I write.

The Bible says that the love between a man and woman is a symbol of Christ and the church. If portraying that’s not a call that only Christians can answer, I don’t know what is!

I’m so glad this is being talked about, that I’m not the only one who sees the terrible lack in this area, and that I’m not the only one who wants to step up to the plate!

>Did I hear my name? As Karen mentioned, it is the nature of romance novels to cover the beginning of a relationship. Most are about singles and those that aren’t are usually about a couple that got married before they spent much time together. What a stark contrast this is to the Song of Solomon. It is clearly not the first of the relationship. Most of the women I know wouldn’t appreciate it if a man they didn’t know came up to them and said, “Your breasts are like clusters of grapes.”

When we start talking about statements like “my beloved is mine, and I am his,” we are talking about a marriage relationship. In short, while God blesses people with both emotional and physical intimacy with their spouses, it falls outside the scope of the romance novel.

>Timothy,

The romance novel covers the journey of the romance, not just the beginning of it. Marriage is not outside the scope of the romance novel; indeed it is the point. And as Kim mentioned, the happily-ever-after implies that journey continues long after “I do”.

As I stated in my blog post, we need to use utmost care in depicting the experience of romance before marriage. But if we do, with prayer, we can tell tales of God’s grace through male-female relationships. I know God gave me Mr. Stewart just when I needed him, and the emotional intimacy I enjoyed with him before marriage saw me through some very difficult times. Even then, he loved me, just like the Song of Songs shepherd called his intended “beloved” before marriage.

Ain’t romance grand?

>To be clear, I am not saying that romance cannot be in marriage, but rather marriage cannot be in romance. The exception is a plot device that we might call the premature marriage.

>Thank you Kim. I don’t get what timothy fish meant either.

I think Gwen had some very impressive things to say in her guest blog and I’m happy a friend recently referred me to Ms. Gardner’s blog site.

Peace and love be with all of you!