Quotes for Writers
Today’s thought is primarily for novelists:
A scene will not be vivid if the writer gives too few details to stir and guide the reader’s imagination; neither will it be vivid if the language the writer uses is abstract instead of concrete. If the writer says “creatures” instead of “snakes,” … if instead of the desert’s sand and rocks he speaks of the snakes’ “inhospitable abode,” the reader will hardly know what picture to conjure up on his mental screen. These two faults, insufficient detail and abstraction where what is needed is concrete detail, are common—in fact all but universal—in amateur writing.
Another is the failure to run straight at the image; that is, the needless filtering of the image through some observing consiousness. The amateur writes: “Turning, she noticed two snakes fighting in among the rocks.” Compare: “She turned. In among the rocks, two snakes were fighting.” (The improvement can of course be further improved. The phrase “two snakes were fighting” is more abstract than, say, “two snakes whipped and lashed, striking at each other”; and verbs with auxiliaries [“were fighting”] are never as sharp in focus as verbs withouout auxiliaries, since the former indicate indefinite time, whereas the latter [e.g., “fought”] suggest a given instant.) Generally speaking—though no laws are absolute in fiction—vividness urges that almost every occurrence of such phrases as “she noticed” and “she saw” be suppressed in favor of direct presentation of the thing seen.
John Gardner, The Art of Fiction, Vintage Books Edition, 1991. p. 98
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Such an epiphany I had when I found myself doing the she thought, she wondered thing when trying to write from my main character’s pov. Your quote is exactly right. On my latest revision I finally saw how much better it was to leave these out and just get right to what was in her head, rather than adding those superfluous phrases.
Very good! I’m revising a manuscript right now and will keep this quote in mind whenever I come to description passages.
We should note, too, that sometimes you can run straight at the image but still go overboard, and the scene will lose some vivacity. I love George R.R. Martin, but his descriptions of every type of food at a feast make my eyes glaze over. Yes, they do create atmosphere and feelings of poverty or sumptuousness, depending on the fare, but they’re so long my eyes glaze over and I end up skipping to the next paragraph.
Guilty as charged! The irony is not lost on this moment when I look up and discover the two snakes that raised their deadly heads were trying to destroy my manuscript in the middle of the rubble.
Armed with this information, perhaps I can go charm the snakes. 🙂
Thanks for the reminders. Great stuff.
Great example.
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I read this book by Gardner years ago, and still refer to it from time to time. Two of his novels — Nickel Mountain and October Light — are still among my favorite novels.
Rachelle. Great use of Gardner. I haven’t read that in some time, but it was refreshing to see. I’m a big fan of G and, especially, how he explains psychic distance. I wonder what you think of the high moral ground he always takes. For example, this is what he says in his preface: “The instruction here is not for every kind of writer–not for the writer of nurse books or thrillers or porno or the cheaper sort of sci fi.” I imagine if he hadn’t died in that motorcycle crash, he’d have added contemporary fantasy to that list. And he’d have a whole lot to say about the sort of “literature” being produced in the indie world.
Or a good way to help you show not tell. (A mantra that is often repeated in classes around here, it can feel elusive sometimes.)
Gardener has many other reminders of how to bring actions and characters into clear focus, see also his comments on psychic/narrative distance. A great book with plenty of great lessons on all aspects of writing.
I also really rate ‘How Fiction Works’ by James Wood.
Right, a bit late, but off for a walk.
Loved that second point about ‘filtering of the image’ – definitely something I’m trying to improve on!
Thanks for the reminder to run right at the image rather than speak with vague generalities. This example is great.
Love this reminder. The examples are great!
Excellent quote! I’m going to look this book up.